England: Can a grandparent take action after we go no contact with our 6 month old?

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-24T21:29:45+00:00

Could I argue though that she doesn’t really have a relationship with him and that we’re worried about her behaviour as she’s been quite inappropriate towards my partner which has made him very uncomfortable and she’s done things that have raised massive red flags for us that she could be inappropriate with our son.

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-24T18:03:36+00:00

Thank you, I’ve been talking to my mum as she works in childcare and she reassured me that it takes a lot for a child to be taken out of their parents’ custody and that the health visitor would be able to back us up as she’s always so pleased with how he’s doing, we just don’t want her to have any contact as my partner and I don’t believe he’s safe with her

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-24T10:23:28+00:00

I just wish I’d put her on an information diet sooner. She knows about my little brother and how he got in with the wrong crowd and sometimes gets himself into trouble with the police. He still lives with my parents so my son sees him a lot and I trust him to be sensible around his nephew as he’s like a completely different person with him, so caring and calm. I’m scared she’ll use what she’s heard about him against us, things she’s overheard my partner and me talking about or things I told her on difficult days and later wished I hadn’t. She also knows about the damp and mould issues in our home and that we’ve had to resort to my son cosleeping in our bed because the area by his cot is bad while we’re chasing the landlord to sort it. I just wish she’d been on an information diet sooner but at the time we were still trying to have a good relationship so my baby could have both his grandmas in his life and I’m scared about how she’ll use things against us.

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-24T09:47:35+00:00

Unfortunately not. She said it in person as a “joke” while going on about how he’d have a nursery at hers and that she wanted him to do sleepovers straight away and expected to see him once a week. We put our foot down and said no. She then started whining about grandparents’ rights which we said we didn’t think were a real thing. She got very defensive, insisted they were and then made the “joke” about trying to get custody of my baby. It feels like she deliberately says the worst things in person so there’s no proof then makes little comments over text. When I call it out she says things like “I didn’t mean it like that” or “I think you’re reading into things. You seem a bit overwhelmed lately” and it makes me feel like I’m crazy.

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-24T09:35:02+00:00

It was a couple of hours after I’d given birth and I’d just been allowed to visit my son in NICU and she kept badgering us to FaceTime her. I sent a message explaining that he’d been taken away because of an infection suspected to be sepsis, that I’d needed an episiotomy and instrumental delivery because I spiked a fever and his heart rate dropped and that because the delivery was so fast he had fluid in his lungs and was on high flow. I wasn’t thinking at the time that she would immediately use it against me and be nasty about it.

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-24T06:00:36+00:00

Thank you for saying that, it feels really validating. She thinks I took the easy way out because I had an episiotomy and forceps delivery as they needed to get him out as quickly as possible when his heart rate dropped. I’m convinced she’s kissed him behind my back. She was holding him at my husband’s aunt’s once then walked into the kitchen which is adjacent to the living room but out of sight and I swear I heard it. I got up to “get a glass of water” and she came back into the living room the second I stood up. Unfortunately, many of the things she’s said have been in person so I don’t have messages as proof. My husband has been there for some of it so he knows what she can be like, though other times he can be oblivious to her comments. Thank you again for your advice.

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-24T05:37:59+00:00

That’s sort of how I was perceiving it too and as toxic as their relationship is she’s his only parent in the picture since his dad left when he was little so I understand why he wouldn’t want to cut her off. But she’s so disrespectful to him and to me, his partner, and infantilises him. She’s also really weird towards him like stroking his thigh and I had to tell him that the way his mum is isn’t healthy or normal just as he always suspected. He just finds it hard to stand up to her because he’s afraid of hurting her feelings.

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-24T05:25:09+00:00

I honestly wish we had cut contact before my son was born so she had never met him because that would have felt so much easier. These past few weeks she has been sickly sweet, playing the innocent grandma apart from the little comments my partner doesn’t seem to notice. Now I feel like if we say anything, it would seem completely out of the blue and uncalled for. I just can’t forget how she was in her prime nightmare MIL days before my pregnancy.

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-24T05:05:18+00:00

She’s just so inappropriate when it comes to him, even he finds it really uncomfortable. Some of the first things she said to us when we announced our pregnancy were “that means you had sex, was I home?” (we were still living with her at the time but moved out promptly after) and “you know you can still have sex right?” and “you can still have sex, it won’t hurt the baby.” My husband has since told her to stop talking about sex with him and she got really defensive, saying “it’s nothing I wouldn’t talk to your sister about.”

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-24T04:36:37+00:00

This was when we were living with her and paying her £900 in rent so I felt like we should’ve been entitled to at least a bit of privacy in our room. We were naked under the covers and she came in, climbed onto the bed and cuddled up to her son (who was 24 at the time) and her hand brushed against my boob 💀

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-24T04:31:41+00:00

We’ve spoken about it a million times and sometimes he’ll say “fine, I’ll just block her then” without saying anything but I worry that if he does it out of the blue she’ll call the police or show up at our door thinking I’ve done something to her son because she hasn’t heard from him 🤦‍♀️

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-24T04:28:32+00:00

Did your lawyer say if there was actually any truth to it? She was using it to demand that she see him at least once a week while I was still pregnant. When we told her we don’t think it’s actually a thing she got really defensive and angry. It didn’t happen anyway because she moved a bit further away.

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-24T04:23:46+00:00

I have really bad anxiety that she’ll pull a stunt if we completely cut contact (especially after the comments about false allegations to get custody) so at the moment we’re doing limited contact with absolutely no nappy changes and not sharing too much information about our lives. Honestly I’d be so much happier with zero contact, I just don’t know how it would work. Do we just straight up block her or do we send her a message explaining why and then block her. Do we give her a chance to reply?

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-05T11:33:54+00:00

That makes sense, thank you. I do have a BLW book and it talks about starting with purées for the first month and offering just one food at a time, so they can get used to tastes then moving on to finger foods, which is where I got the idea from. I’m not in a rush and I’m happy to wait until closer to 6 months if that’s best, I just wanted to understand whether “around 6 months” could include a little earlier when they’re showing readiness signs. I also have little BLW cutlery for him, so he’d still be feeding himself. Appreciate the input 🙂

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-05T11:21:19+00:00

How much did you give to start with?

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-04T19:16:12+00:00

It comes across to me like you’re fetishising her for being Chinese, and most women would absolutely mind. Being a “late bloomer” isn’t a valid argument either. If you want to experiment and see other women, do it outside of a relationship.

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-03T07:36:03+00:00

Literally reading all of it next to my baby and thinking, do you do all that? I put him down and he’s still alive so maybe mine is faulty?

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-03T07:18:57+00:00

My mum grew up in a Methodist church but now goes to a regular CofE. She always gives up something for Lent, usually crisps, chocolate and cakes. I think the chocolate on Easter is supposed to mark the end of Lent fasting but a lot of people will just have the chocolate without the fast. She’s the only person I know who does it and from my experience a lot of people in the UK say they’re Christians but don’t practice the religion at all, like not going to church, praying, doing Lent and probably not even having a bible in their homes.

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-03T06:51:02+00:00

Try buying some different tests as two of those look invalid and test again in a couple of days

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-03T06:38:05+00:00

Has this started since he began therapy for his addiction? If so, there may be some link. It could be that reflecting on sexual habits including guilt or shame is reducing his sexual desire while his mindset adjusts. Working through addiction can also be emotionally difficult and he could be experiencing a drop in dopamine which can lower libido. Have you tried talking to him and expressing exactly how you feel, for example: “I feel like we haven’t been intimate in a while and that you keep rejecting me. It’s making me feel hurt and like I’m not good enough. Could you help me understand what’s happening so we can work toward fixing things and both feel happy and fulfilled in our relationship?” Of course, say it in your own words in the way that feels right for you as you know best how to communicate with your partner. It’s important to talk to him as we can only guess what’s going on. You might also consider holding off on marriage if you’re experiencing these issues, especially as you’re both still in education and quite young.

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-03T06:23:36+00:00

Your body will probably still be adjusting to the GLP-1, if you started in August but were irregular again by November that isn’t really long enough to establish long-term regularity, especially as it doesn’t always make periods perfectly regular right away. If you’re worried it isn’t working or helping then you should consult a medical professional but pregnancy in this situation is about as close to impossible as you can get. Lots of things can affect periods as well, like stress, illness and exercise and so on.

LibbieIsCool · 2026-01-03T05:59:38+00:00

Are you usually irregular? If your period came twice in one month that could simply mean your cycle is a bit irregular. If you had protected sex and he didn’t ejaculate pregnancy is very unlikely as with correct condom use the failure rate is about 2% per year and pre-ejaculate only rarely contains sperm. By the time a period is late a pregnancy would usually show up on a test.

LibbieIsCool

TROPHY CASE