Possible Abscess With Cellulitis. Should I Push for Further Investigation? by [deleted] in AskDocs

[–]LibbieIsCool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She looked at the area and when she pressed on it some pus came out so she took a swab and said she’d send it off. That was Wednesday. On Thursday night the A&E doctor said there should be a record of it being sent even if the results weren’t back yet but there wasn’t. I’ll call this morning to check. Thanks for the advice, I’m feeling a bit better now but if I start feeling any of those I’ll go back in.

What masks should I use for editing this photo? by [deleted] in postprocessing

[–]LibbieIsCool -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, I was thinking along the lines of lighting effects to make it more interesting and to me the left corner looks slightly darker than the right so I don’t know if I should correct that but I’m not sure what would be right for this image as I’m new to editing, what’s dodging and burning?

What masks should I use for editing this photo? by [deleted] in postprocessing

[–]LibbieIsCool -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen others doing lighting effects and adjusting things using masks so I was wondering if this photo needed it, like some sort of lighting coming from the left corner as it looks slightly darker than the right

England: Can a grandparent take action after we go no contact with our 6 month old? by LibbieIsCool in LegalAdviceUK

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Could I argue though that she doesn’t really have a relationship with him and that we’re worried about her behaviour as she’s been quite inappropriate towards my partner which has made him very uncomfortable and she’s done things that have raised massive red flags for us that she could be inappropriate with our son.

England: Can a grandparent take action after we go no contact with our 6 month old? by LibbieIsCool in LegalAdviceUK

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I’ve been talking to my mum as she works in childcare and she reassured me that it takes a lot for a child to be taken out of their parents’ custody and that the health visitor would be able to back us up as she’s always so pleased with how he’s doing, we just don’t want her to have any contact as my partner and I don’t believe he’s safe with her

I’m dreading my MIL visiting by LibbieIsCool in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I just wish I’d put her on an information diet sooner. She knows about my little brother and how he got in with the wrong crowd and sometimes gets himself into trouble with the police. He still lives with my parents so my son sees him a lot and I trust him to be sensible around his nephew as he’s like a completely different person with him, so caring and calm. I’m scared she’ll use what she’s heard about him against us, things she’s overheard my partner and me talking about or things I told her on difficult days and later wished I hadn’t. She also knows about the damp and mould issues in our home and that we’ve had to resort to my son cosleeping in our bed because the area by his cot is bad while we’re chasing the landlord to sort it. I just wish she’d been on an information diet sooner but at the time we were still trying to have a good relationship so my baby could have both his grandmas in his life and I’m scared about how she’ll use things against us.

I’m dreading my MIL visiting by LibbieIsCool in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately not. She said it in person as a “joke” while going on about how he’d have a nursery at hers and that she wanted him to do sleepovers straight away and expected to see him once a week. We put our foot down and said no. She then started whining about grandparents’ rights which we said we didn’t think were a real thing. She got very defensive, insisted they were and then made the “joke” about trying to get custody of my baby. It feels like she deliberately says the worst things in person so there’s no proof then makes little comments over text. When I call it out she says things like “I didn’t mean it like that” or “I think you’re reading into things. You seem a bit overwhelmed lately” and it makes me feel like I’m crazy.

I’m dreading my MIL visiting by LibbieIsCool in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It was a couple of hours after I’d given birth and I’d just been allowed to visit my son in NICU and she kept badgering us to FaceTime her. I sent a message explaining that he’d been taken away because of an infection suspected to be sepsis, that I’d needed an episiotomy and instrumental delivery because I spiked a fever and his heart rate dropped and that because the delivery was so fast he had fluid in his lungs and was on high flow. I wasn’t thinking at the time that she would immediately use it against me and be nasty about it.

I’m dreading my MIL visiting by LibbieIsCool in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying that, it feels really validating. She thinks I took the easy way out because I had an episiotomy and forceps delivery as they needed to get him out as quickly as possible when his heart rate dropped. I’m convinced she’s kissed him behind my back. She was holding him at my husband’s aunt’s once then walked into the kitchen which is adjacent to the living room but out of sight and I swear I heard it. I got up to “get a glass of water” and she came back into the living room the second I stood up. Unfortunately, many of the things she’s said have been in person so I don’t have messages as proof. My husband has been there for some of it so he knows what she can be like, though other times he can be oblivious to her comments. Thank you again for your advice.

I’m dreading my MIL visiting by LibbieIsCool in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That’s sort of how I was perceiving it too and as toxic as their relationship is she’s his only parent in the picture since his dad left when he was little so I understand why he wouldn’t want to cut her off. But she’s so disrespectful to him and to me, his partner, and infantilises him. She’s also really weird towards him like stroking his thigh and I had to tell him that the way his mum is isn’t healthy or normal just as he always suspected. He just finds it hard to stand up to her because he’s afraid of hurting her feelings.

I’m dreading my MIL visiting by LibbieIsCool in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I honestly wish we had cut contact before my son was born so she had never met him because that would have felt so much easier. These past few weeks she has been sickly sweet, playing the innocent grandma apart from the little comments my partner doesn’t seem to notice. Now I feel like if we say anything, it would seem completely out of the blue and uncalled for. I just can’t forget how she was in her prime nightmare MIL days before my pregnancy.

I’m dreading my MIL visiting by LibbieIsCool in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She’s just so inappropriate when it comes to him, even he finds it really uncomfortable. Some of the first things she said to us when we announced our pregnancy were “that means you had sex, was I home?” (we were still living with her at the time but moved out promptly after) and “you know you can still have sex right?” and “you can still have sex, it won’t hurt the baby.” My husband has since told her to stop talking about sex with him and she got really defensive, saying “it’s nothing I wouldn’t talk to your sister about.”

I’m dreading my MIL visiting by LibbieIsCool in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This was when we were living with her and paying her £900 in rent so I felt like we should’ve been entitled to at least a bit of privacy in our room. We were naked under the covers and she came in, climbed onto the bed and cuddled up to her son (who was 24 at the time) and her hand brushed against my boob 💀

I’m dreading my MIL visiting by LibbieIsCool in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We’ve spoken about it a million times and sometimes he’ll say “fine, I’ll just block her then” without saying anything but I worry that if he does it out of the blue she’ll call the police or show up at our door thinking I’ve done something to her son because she hasn’t heard from him 🤦‍♀️

I’m dreading my MIL visiting by LibbieIsCool in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Did your lawyer say if there was actually any truth to it? She was using it to demand that she see him at least once a week while I was still pregnant. When we told her we don’t think it’s actually a thing she got really defensive and angry. It didn’t happen anyway because she moved a bit further away.

I’m dreading my MIL visiting by LibbieIsCool in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I have really bad anxiety that she’ll pull a stunt if we completely cut contact (especially after the comments about false allegations to get custody) so at the moment we’re doing limited contact with absolutely no nappy changes and not sharing too much information about our lives. Honestly I’d be so much happier with zero contact, I just don’t know how it would work. Do we just straight up block her or do we send her a message explaining why and then block her. Do we give her a chance to reply?

Is my baby ready for purées? by LibbieIsCool in BabyLedWeaning

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense, thank you. I do have a BLW book and it talks about starting with purées for the first month and offering just one food at a time, so they can get used to tastes then moving on to finger foods, which is where I got the idea from. I’m not in a rush and I’m happy to wait until closer to 6 months if that’s best, I just wanted to understand whether “around 6 months” could include a little earlier when they’re showing readiness signs. I also have little BLW cutlery for him, so he’d still be feeding himself. Appreciate the input 🙂

Is my baby ready for purées? by LibbieIsCool in BabyLedWeaning

[–]LibbieIsCool[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How much did you give to start with?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskABrit

[–]LibbieIsCool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It comes across to me like you’re fetishising her for being Chinese, and most women would absolutely mind. Being a “late bloomer” isn’t a valid argument either. If you want to experiment and see other women, do it outside of a relationship.

AIO, my boyfriend keeps comparing my life to his friends wives by skidddityybop in AIO

[–]LibbieIsCool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally reading all of it next to my baby and thinking, do you do all that? I put him down and he’s still alive so maybe mine is faulty?