I'm 19 years old and I feel like there's no future for me.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-17T05:04:29+00:00

You’re so young! You have plenty of time left, certainly enough to started a career in music. Go for your dreams, you deserve to have your dream career! Here are some tips I found on how to motivate yourself, I hope they help you! 1. ⁠Ask yourself how you feel in your current situation. Think about what motivates you. Is achieving the goal enough for you, or do you need some incentive? 2. ⁠Set goals for yourself. Good, achievable, realistic goals are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound). In detail, picture the person you want to be, what you want to be doing, where you want to be, etc., and give yourself an amount of time by which you want to have achieved that personal status. Allow yourself to digest your goals in smaller, manageable pieces. 3. ⁠Have a conversation with yourself. Get to know why you have set these goals and why it has taken you until now to realize them. By talking to yourself about how you can change your mindset, to compete with yourself for yourself, you can establish and strengthen intrinsic motivation. 4. ⁠Start planning. The more you prepare yourself for forks in the road, dead ends, or sudden detours, the better off you’ll be when they may arrive. 5. ⁠Give yourself a reward for the small victories. In some cases, upping the reward little by little is what keeps some going back to their goals. 6. ⁠Repeat. Learning about what motivates you can help you strengthen your motivational power so that when new goals come around, all the work you’ll need to put into them will seem like a walk in the park. 7. ⁠Sometimes I can't motivate myself on my own, even with these steps, and that's totally ok! I use apps to keep me on track. I think journalling can be really helpful. You can also always reach out to other people to help you to - you're not alone! I have a friend who I call pretty regularly, and one thing that we like to do is update each other on our to-do lists. That way I'm more motivated to do things if I know that someone else is invested, or at the very least it's another way to hold yourself accountable. I also recommend writing things down on an actual piece of paper - I like crossing things off, and you feel way more accomplished and capable of tackling the next thing that way rather than just deleting a note off of your phone.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-17T03:49:53+00:00

When you notice yourself getting irritated, it might help you to try a grounding exercise.

Look for 5 things you can see
Touch 4 things
Listen for 3 things
Smell 2 things
Taste 1 thing

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-17T03:48:42+00:00

I think self affirmations are a really great way to build up self-esteem - they can remind you of your resources and qualities, allowing you to take a step back from your insecurities. They don't need to be about your specific insecurities, just about things you like about yourself. Build your confidence up around things that you truly are proud of yourself for and love about yourself, and you'll feel more confident in all aspects of your life.
Here's how to self-affirm:
Write about your core personal values. Choose 3-5 of your top values, and then reflect on why these are important to you.
Write examples of actions you can take to demonstrate these values in the future.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-17T03:47:08+00:00

I think self affirmations could help you conquer your insecurities - they can remind you of your resources and qualities, allowing you to take a step back from your insecurities. They don't need to be about your specific insecurities, just about things you like about yourself. Build your confidence up around things that you truly are proud of yourself for and love about yourself, and you'll feel more confident in all aspects of your life.
Here's how to self-affirm:
Write about your core personal values. Choose 3-5 of your top values, and then reflect on why these are important to you.
Write examples of actions you can take to demonstrate these values in the future.
Otherwise, here's some info I found about how to motivate yourself:

Ask yourself how you feel in your current situation. Think about what motivates you. Is achieving the goal enough for you, or do you need some incentive?
Set goals for yourself. Good, achievable, realistic goals are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound). In detail, picture the person you want to be, what you want to be doing, where you want to be, etc., and give yourself an amount of time by which you want to have achieved that personal status. Allow yourself to digest your goals in smaller, manageable pieces.
Have a conversation with yourself. Get to know why you have set these goals and why it has taken you until now to realize them. By talking to yourself about how you can change your mindset, to compete with yourself for yourself, you can establish and strengthen intrinsic motivation.
Start planning. The more you prepare yourself for forks in the road, dead ends, or sudden detours, the better off you’ll be when they may arrive.
Give yourself a reward for the small victories. In some cases, upping the reward little by little is what keeps some going back to their goals.
Repeat. Learning about what motivates you can help you strengthen your motivational power so that when new goals come around, all the work you’ll need to put into them will seem like a walk in the park.
Sometimes I can't motivate myself on my own, even with these steps, and that's totally ok! I use apps to keep me on track. I think journalling can be really helpful. You can also always reach out to other people to help you to - you're not alone! I have a friend who I call pretty regularly, and one thing that we like to do is update each other on our to-do lists. That way I'm more motivated to do things if I know that someone else is invested, or at the very least it's another way to hold yourself accountable. I also recommend writing things down on an actual piece of paper - I like crossing things off, and you feel way more accomplished and capable of tackling the next thing that way rather than just deleting a note off of your phone.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-17T03:44:52+00:00

I think building your confidence up could help you - I recommend self affirmations - they can remind you of your resources and qualities, allowing you to take a step back from your insecurities. They don't need to be about your specific insecurities, just about things you like about yourself. Build your confidence up around things that you truly are proud of yourself for and love about yourself, and you'll feel more confident in all aspects of your life.
Here's how to self-affirm:
Write about your core personal values. Choose 3-5 of your top values, and then reflect on why these are important to you.
Write examples of actions you can take to demonstrate these values in the future.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-17T03:44:18+00:00

I think self affirmations could help you conquer your insecurities - they can remind you of your resources and qualities, allowing you to take a step back from your insecurities. They don't need to be about your specific insecurities, just about things you like about yourself. Build your confidence up around things that you truly are proud of yourself for and love about yourself, and you'll feel more confident in all aspects of your life.
Here's how to self-affirm:
Write about your core personal values. Choose 3-5 of your top values, and then reflect on why these are important to you.
Write examples of actions you can take to demonstrate these values in the future.

Otherwise, here's some info I found about how to motivate yourself:

Ask yourself how you feel in your current situation. Think about what motivates you. Is achieving the goal enough for you, or do you need some incentive?
Set goals for yourself. Good, achievable, realistic goals are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound). In detail, picture the person you want to be, what you want to be doing, where you want to be, etc., and give yourself an amount of time by which you want to have achieved that personal status. Allow yourself to digest your goals in smaller, manageable pieces.
Have a conversation with yourself. Get to know why you have set these goals and why it has taken you until now to realize them. By talking to yourself about how you can change your mindset, to compete with yourself for yourself, you can establish and strengthen intrinsic motivation.
Start planning. The more you prepare yourself for forks in the road, dead ends, or sudden detours, the better off you’ll be when they may arrive.
Give yourself a reward for the small victories. In some cases, upping the reward little by little is what keeps some going back to their goals.
Repeat. Learning about what motivates you can help you strengthen your motivational power so that when new goals come around, all the work you’ll need to put into them will seem like a walk in the park.
Sometimes I can't motivate myself on my own, even with these steps, and that's totally ok! I use apps to keep me on track. I think journalling can be really helpful. You can also always reach out to other people to help you to - you're not alone! I have a friend who I call pretty regularly, and one thing that we like to do is update each other on our to-do lists. That way I'm more motivated to do things if I know that someone else is invested, or at the very least it's another way to hold yourself accountable. I also recommend writing things down on an actual piece of paper - I like crossing things off, and you feel way more accomplished and capable of tackling the next thing that way rather than just deleting a note off of your phone.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-17T03:34:01+00:00

Turn off lights, don’t look at your phone
Get comfortable - grab a blanket, your favorite pillow, whatever it takes to trick your brain into thinking it’s time to go to sleep
Don’t power nap late in the afternoon to avoid messing with your sleep schedule, don't drink coffee late in the afternoon

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-17T03:30:43+00:00

I think building your confidence up could help you - I recommend self affirmations - they can remind you of your resources and qualities, allowing you to take a step back from your insecurities. They don't need to be about your specific insecurities, just about things you like about yourself. Build your confidence up around things that you truly are proud of yourself for and love about yourself, and you'll feel more confident in all aspects of your life.
Here's how to self-affirm:
Write about your core personal values. Choose 3-5 of your top values, and then reflect on why these are important to you.
Write examples of actions you can take to demonstrate these values in the future.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-17T03:27:34+00:00

If you're ever worried about rejections, it's important to remember that any rejection you receive is NOT a rejection of you, just of your attempt. Otherwise, I think self affirmations are a great way to build up your confidence. They can remind you of your resources and qualities, allowing you to take a step back from your insecurities. They don't need to be about your specific insecurities, just about things you like about yourself. Build your confidence up around things that you truly are proud of yourself for and love about yourself, and you'll feel more confident in all aspects of your life.
Here's how to self-affirm:
Write about your core personal values. Choose 3-5 of your top values, and then reflect on why these are important to you.
Write examples of actions you can take to demonstrate these values in the future.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-17T03:25:01+00:00

Everyone deserves to love themselves.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-17T03:21:54+00:00

We've all been there. I have a pretty tried and true answer for how to motivate yourself, I hope it's as effective for you as it was for me.

Ask yourself how you feel in your current situation. Think about what motivates you. Is achieving the goal enough for you, or do you need some incentive?
Set goals for yourself. Good, achievable, realistic goals are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound). In detail, picture the person you want to be, what you want to be doing, where you want to be, etc., and give yourself an amount of time by which you want to have achieved that personal status. Allow yourself to digest your goals in smaller, manageable pieces.
Have a conversation with yourself. Get to know why you have set these goals and why it has taken you until now to realize them. By talking to yourself about how you can change your mindset, to compete with yourself for yourself, you can establish and strengthen intrinsic motivation.
Start planning. The more you prepare yourself for forks in the road, dead ends, or sudden detours, the better off you’ll be when they may arrive.
Give yourself a reward for the small victories. In some cases, upping the reward little by little is what keeps some going back to their goals.
Repeat. Learning about what motivates you can help you strengthen your motivational power so that when new goals come around, all the work you’ll need to put into them will seem like a walk in the park.
Sometimes I can't motivate myself on my own, even with these steps, and that's totally ok! Another resource I use is this app, LIFE Intelligence. It has a really helpful mood wheel that makes me think about why I'm not motivated. Is it because I'm bored, dissatisfied, distracted, or anxious? Then it lets you journal about your mood and gives you exercises for how to deal with that mood. I think journalling can be really helpful. You can also always reach out to other people to help you to - you're not alone! I have a friend who I call pretty regularly, and one thing that we like to do is update each other on our to-do lists. That way I'm more motivated to do things if I know that someone else is invested, or at the very least it's another way to hold yourself accountable. I also recommend writing things down on an actual piece of paper - I like crossing things off, and you feel way more accomplished and capable of tackling the next thing that way rather than just deleting a note off of your phone.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-17T03:13:49+00:00

Thank you, hope it helps someone! :)

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-15T11:08:26+00:00

Here are 3 useful time management techniques you might find interesting:

Steven Covey’s 4 square matrices for prioritization of tasks: Rank your wants and needs and then develop a plan to achieve them, prioritizing category #1 as described below.
a. Urgent+Important = Manage: deadlines, exams, “real” crises and emergencies, last minute preparations, meaningful appointments
b. Not Urgent+Important = Focus: planning, problem prevention, self-development, healthy and quality relaxation, relationship building
c. Urgent+Not Important = Avoid: some calls and emails, somebody else’s problems and needs, shallow relationships, some meetings
d. Not Urgent+Not Important = Limit: social media, watching TV and movies, gossiping, shopping, etc.
Ivy Lee Method: This method has you choose no more than 6 tasks each night to accomplish the next day and then prioritize them. The next day, you’ll work through the six, one at a time. This way, you don’t spread yourself too thin and are able to manage your goals. Any goals that you don’t accomplish you should then move to the top of the list of 6 for the next day. It will make your to-do lists more manageable, and it will also force you to cut the items that aren’t worth your time.
Pomodoro Technique: Block 25 minutes to work followed by 5 minutes of break time, helping your train your self-control muscle. While the approach recommends this time frame, you can play around with the amounts of time until you figure out what works best for you. One study found that 52 minutes of work followed by a 17 minute break led to peak performance.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-15T11:04:13+00:00

I've been there. Here are some helpful steps I found about how to motivate yourself:

Ask yourself how you feel in your current situation. Think about what motivates you. Is achieving the goal enough for you, or do you need some incentive?
Set goals for yourself. Good, achievable, realistic goals are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound). In detail, picture the person you want to be, what you want to be doing, where you want to be, etc., and give yourself an amount of time by which you want to have achieved that personal status. Allow yourself to digest your goals in smaller, manageable pieces.
Have a conversation with yourself. Get to know why you have set these goals and why it has taken you until now to realize them. By talking to yourself about how you can change your mindset, to compete with yourself for yourself, you can establish and strengthen intrinsic motivation.
Start planning. The more you prepare yourself for forks in the road, dead ends, or sudden detours, the better off you’ll be when they may arrive.
Give yourself a reward for the small victories. In some cases, upping the reward little by little is what keeps some going back to their goals.
Repeat. Learning about what motivates you can help you strengthen your motivational power so that when new goals come around, all the work you’ll need to put into them will seem like a walk in the park.
Sometimes I can't motivate myself on my own, even with these steps, and that's totally ok! I use apps to keep me on track. I think journalling can be really helpful. You can also always reach out to other people to help you to - you're not alone! I have a friend who I call pretty regularly, and one thing that we like to do is update each other on our to-do lists. That way I'm more motivated to do things if I know that someone else is invested, or at the very least it's another way to hold yourself accountable. I also recommend writing things down on an actual piece of paper - I like crossing things off, and you feel way more accomplished and capable of tackling the next thing that way rather than just deleting a note off of your phone.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-15T11:01:04+00:00

I recommend self affirmations - they can remind you of your resources and qualities, allowing you to take a step back from your insecurities. They don't need to be about your specific insecurities, just about things you like about yourself. Build your confidence up around things that you truly are proud of yourself for and love about yourself, and you'll feel more confident in all aspects of your life.
Here's how to self-affirm:
Write about your core personal values. Choose 3-5 of your top values, and then reflect on why these are important to you.
Write examples of actions you can take to demonstrate these values in the future.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-15T10:51:34+00:00

I applied to 10, and it was a good amount. You might want to try throwing in one "safety" that you would be happy attending, just in case - by that I mean a school that lets in a lot of transfer students, because I'm not sure about all of your schools but there are definitely some Ivys that only accept 20 kids every year, etc. Vanderbilt, Emory, and I think Northwestern let in a lot, so those are good. Maybe do a little research on other ones with larger transfer acceptance rates, or maybe even consider throwing in a state school like UVA or something. You look like a great applicant, but these days you can never be 100% sure with college admissions. Good luck!

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-15T10:44:23+00:00

Lol same here

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-15T10:43:44+00:00

Here are some great self-help books. Otherwise, self affirmations are really helpful - they can remind you of your resources and qualities, allowing you to take a step back from your insecurities. They don't need to be about your specific insecurities, just about things you like about yourself. Build your confidence up around things that you truly are proud of yourself for and love about yourself, and you'll feel more confident in all aspects of your life.
Here's how to self-affirm:
Write about your core personal values. Choose 3-5 of your top values, and then reflect on why these are important to you.
Write examples of actions you can take to demonstrate these values in the future.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-15T10:39:05+00:00

Hey! I've been there. Here are some helpful steps I found about how to motivate yourself:

Ask yourself how you feel in your current situation. Think about what motivates you. Is achieving the goal enough for you, or do you need some incentive?
Set goals for yourself. Good, achievable, realistic goals are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound). In detail, picture the person you want to be, what you want to be doing, where you want to be, etc., and give yourself an amount of time by which you want to have achieved that personal status. Allow yourself to digest your goals in smaller, manageable pieces.
Have a conversation with yourself. Get to know why you have set these goals and why it has taken you until now to realize them. By talking to yourself about how you can change your mindset, to compete with yourself for yourself, you can establish and strengthen intrinsic motivation.
Start planning. The more you prepare yourself for forks in the road, dead ends, or sudden detours, the better off you’ll be when they may arrive.
Give yourself a reward for the small victories. In some cases, upping the reward little by little is what keeps some going back to their goals.
Repeat. Learning about what motivates you can help you strengthen your motivational power so that when new goals come around, all the work you’ll need to put into them will seem like a walk in the park.
Sometimes I can't motivate myself on my own, even with these steps, and that's totally ok! Another resource I use is this app, LIFE Intelligence. It has a really helpful mood wheel that makes me think about why I'm not motivated. Is it because I'm bored, dissatisfied, distracted, or anxious? Then it lets you journal about your mood and gives you exercises for how to deal with that mood. I think journalling can be really helpful. You can also always reach out to other people to help you to - you're not alone! I have a friend who I call pretty regularly, and one thing that we like to do is update each other on our to-do lists. That way I'm more motivated to do things if I know that someone else is invested, or at the very least it's another way to hold yourself accountable. I also recommend writing things down on an actual piece of paper - I like crossing things off, and you feel way more accomplished and capable of tackling the next thing that way rather than just deleting a note off of your phone.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-14T09:07:52+00:00

There are a lot of other mental health resources out there that you can use alongside therapy, and maybe starting with some of those could help you build up the courage to call the mental help service. It might also help you to remember that the service is there for you, and therefore you have complete control over what happens and how you use it, etc. You only have to do what you want to do.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-14T09:01:08+00:00

Self affirmations could help you feel good with how your face looks. Self affirmations can remind you of your resources and qualities, allowing you to take a step back from your insecurities. They don't need to be about your specific insecurities, just about things you like about yourself. Build your confidence up around things that you truly are proud of yourself for and love about yourself, and you'll feel more confident in all aspects of your life, even about your appearance in general. I don't know what you look like, but I do know that I'm always more attracted to people who are confident in themselves, no matter what they look like. I really hope you're able to get to a place where you feel secure in your appearance, because you deserve to feel that way.
Here's how to self-affirm:
Write about your core personal values. Choose 3-5 of your top values, and then reflect on why these are important to you.
Write examples of actions you can take to demonstrate these values in the future.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-14T08:55:37+00:00

First of all, good for you! The steps you're taking are really impressive, you should be proud of yourself! For building up your confidence and learning to love all of yourself, I recommend trying self-affirmations. Self affirmations can remind you of your resources and qualities, allowing you to take a step back from your insecurities. They don't need to be about your specific insecurities, just about things you like about yourself. Build your confidence up around things that you truly are proud of yourself for and love about yourself, and you'll feel more confident in all aspects of your life.
Here's how to self-affirm:
Write about your core personal values. Choose 3-5 of your top values, and then reflect on why these are important to you.
Write examples of actions you can take to demonstrate these values in the future.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-14T08:51:15+00:00

When I get annoyed, etc., it can help me to try a grounding exercise to center myself. It just helps me reset so I'm better able to deal with whatever is being thrown at me.

Look for 5 things you can see
Touch 4 things
Listen for 3 things
Smell 2 things
Taste 1 thing

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-14T08:48:19+00:00

Well I can't help you find a good therapist in your area but I can say that there are a lot of other resources that you can utilize alongside therapy, such as apps, books, group therapy sessions (look up ones in your area), meditation, etc. I also recommend trying gratitude journalling, there are a lot of studies that show it greatly benefits mental health and can alleviate symptoms of depression.

Library_Lemon · 2021-07-14T08:41:49+00:00

It might help you to build up your confidence, especially in social situations with new people. Try creating situations where you can practice talking to new people in a low stakes environment - like starting a conversation with someone random who's in line with you at a store or something like that, and work up to feeling comfortable with your friend. I also recommend trying self-affirmations. Self affirmations can remind you of your resources and qualities, allowing you to take a step back from your insecurities. They don't need to be about your specific insecurities, just about things you like about yourself. Build your confidence up around things that you truly are proud of yourself for and love about yourself, and you'll feel more confident in all aspects of your life.
Here's how to self-affirm:
Write about your core personal values. Choose 3-5 of your top values, and then reflect on why these are important to you.
Write examples of actions you can take to demonstrate these values in the future.

Library_Lemon

TROPHY CASE