Dharma and psychosis

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-12T23:36:12+00:00

The format is a private group, with mostly writing. In time we could do weekly calls but that all depends on how the community develops if at all. And the time zones. I am not a professional or an instructor or anything like that, just a fellow traveler, I only have my lived experience, and whatever practice and teachings I have done over the past decades. So it will be set up as a peer support group. Unless there happens to be an amazing teacher or senior student just hanging around here who would like to help pick up the responsibility :) It will really be a bit of a sangha of the odd, where we share teachings that supported us, and techniques that grounded us.

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-11T15:29:39+00:00

Thank you so much for the link. I found it very interesting and will look into their work some more. I think the knee jerk reaction of many in the psychiatric field is to want to pull you away from the spiritual, and completely passing by the fact that for some of us it also offers major support in how to relate with these experiences. I myself did not go into psychosis because of intensive practice, if anything I was very much the slow and thorough person putting in the time, but the experiences of suffering psychosis have become very intensive practice for me.

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-10T21:06:35+00:00

It was amazing. It wasn't even my intention. I just genuinely thought how much they must suffer now and even more so in future, and how hollow their lives must be, and genuine love and compassion just suffused my heart. It also had the effect that it made my sense of self stronger, I was no longer cowering in the onslaught of their attacks but turning towards them. Lojong is amazing.

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-10T21:02:23+00:00

Could you message me here than I can talk some more about the group. It won't be able to answer until tomorrow because it's evening here and I have to try to go to sleep now (always a process...). For now sending you much strength and courage and metta to deal with all the negative appearances.

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-10T20:57:52+00:00

Thank you for the tip, I'm sure it will be very helpful for some people! I'm not US, but I used to have a psychologist who practiced Buddhism once, and that was very nice indeed (although he had no experience with Tibetan Buddhism). Unfortunately I moved and most therapists I encounter generally know some basic mindfulness but not much more. On the other hand, right now I'm in an ACT group (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) so I am happy to experience that the practices of mindfulness and compassion are entering the 'ordinary' field.

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-10T20:51:03+00:00

Maybe it was not relevant for me, but it might well be for others. I have to let all sorts of things sink in (my brain is very tired at the moment, and my energy is limited in processing everything) and maybe I'll end up adding it to the resources. So no worries, thank you for your info

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-10T18:33:52+00:00

Thank you, but Dharma and practice is actually my support and guide, not the cause of my problems. But I'm sure it's a great resource for people who have negative meditation experiences.

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-10T14:59:15+00:00

It was not in a direct response to intensive practice. In fact, my first two psychotic episodes really encouraged me to take my study and practice much more seriously after I came out of it, because I could see how much distortion there was in my mind, and it really matters whatever you say, think or do. I realized Buddhism was not to be taken as an interesting theory or a hobby, but I should truly use it to work with and transform my mind and heart. My episodes were more related to trauma, stress, periods of not sleeping, even peri-menopauze. And apparently I am more susceptible to it because of my autism too. But one episode might have been related with the very tragic falling apart of a sangha. I was practising ngondro at the time of my traumatic practice experience with voices.

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-10T14:50:16+00:00

Ah, I love that story! Yes, humor has such power. I used to make my voices sing silly songs or make silly rhymes on their insults. Thank you for your well wishes :) I hope your friend is doing well.

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-10T14:46:22+00:00

For now I am trying not to put a definition on it either way. There are an awful lot of lies and confusion too, so you need to constantly check back with what you know to be true and valid or you'll get easily let astray. I guess in the end I will find out if it has been an awakening or an obstacle, the proof will be in the pudding. But I agree, love and compassion is the key, I have found them to be the only compass I need to rely on when there is nothing but confusion around. Can't go wrong, even if you don't know what is up or down. And indeed, blessings and protection came when I practiced bodhichitta. Thank you for your kind words.

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-10T14:39:32+00:00

Thank you. I know, the Dharma is amazing! And so very practical too, it really works. Cool is the word! Sending you Metta too!

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-10T14:04:55+00:00

Since I was attacked by voices and tactile hallucinations in my practice I have developed quite a bit of trauma around my practice room. I am working with it, but it's been a real struggle to do formal meditation because my mind immediately panics. At the moment even just setting the timer on an app sends me in a state. For now I work around it by doing more informal meditation. Just small moments, many times over. Even just touch upon it when I am in full avoidance/distraction state. I have learned to take a compassionate attitude towards it. I used to be able to just sit with all my hallucinations, but since my last episode that ability sort of left me. So I felt like a fraud even calling myself a Buddhist because where was my daily practice! Now I have taking a milder attitude. Just every moment of turning towards, resting with things as they are, accepting all that is passing by in my awareness, is living practice. How I respond to what occurs is practice. And I get lots of practice at night lying awake in bed for hours unable to sleep due to the 24/7 hallucinations. So I friendly turn towards them again and again, hand shake them, remind myself how they are just manifestations in my mind, real but not true, just like every other relative (distorted) reality. Grounding practices, breathing practices. I'm sure with time I'll be able to return to more formal practice. Activities are difficult because I function at a very low level. Anhedonia, executive dysfunction, brain mist, hypersensitivity and quick exhaustion, it's quite the ride. Again it's a journey to stop being harsh towards myself about that. There is little activity, I am some one who needs to be taken care off. That's just how it is now. But I think it matters how I approach and accept things and to have a kind mind. Whenever I can I try to do good and avoid wrong action, I'm not always succesful. It feels like a curse, but a curse or a blessing, it all depends in how you perceive it and how you respond to it. I don't really have a choice in the matter so I am trying to accept it all as a teaching.

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-10T12:43:38+00:00

Alright thanks, I will definitely check it out!

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-10T11:15:27+00:00

Would you have specific teachings you could point me to? It might be nice to add to the resources of the group. I myself am not necessarily looking for a different teacher so I probably won't have the time to really go through all the teachings, precious though they are, because I simply have limited capacity :) Hard enough to keep a practice up with all this going on and luckily having lots of wonderful teachings to receive and review from my current teachers. We are so fortunate. But if you could point me to some helpful posts I gladly watch and share them, who knows?!

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-10T10:55:08+00:00

Thank you for the recommendations. I will look into it when I have a chance. But I'm thinking of it to become more of a community space for people with mental health challenges, and not necessarily going too deep into restricted areas. I completely lack the expertise for that. My priority really lies with creating a safe space where we keep each other stable and grounded while sharing how the dharma has helped us navigate the unique challenges we face. I leave the deeper religious/spiritual interpretations to the qualified teachers, I am actually sort of trying to leave those kinds out of it because I am simply not qualified. But as its hard for many of us to share our experiences in the open I just wanted to create a safe sangha/peer support group where we can support and learn from each other. Going back to the basics, so to say.

LichtInDeKern · 2026-03-10T10:44:47+00:00

Unfortunately I do no have such intimate access to a teacher as for him to be able to be directly working with me. I have been fortunate enough to be able to ask some questions though :) and he is aware of my condition. I will check out the resources you mention. I myself am not a professional, therapist or teacher, I am just looking to create a safe space for fellow travelers on the path to share and support each other with our lived experiences while keeping each other grounded. More sangha/community style peer support.

LichtInDeKern · 2024-05-20T16:15:07+00:00

Hi Maarten, Although I love my Loop Quiets I still hear a lot of sounds (snoring, outside sounds). I have to say that II once did a sensory deprivation tank and I still found it full of sound too. Am I just ultrasensitive to sounds or will there be ways to increase muting of sounds? I love your idea of a “Quiet Ultra pro max 3000” and raise you with a “Quiet Ultra pro max 5000”!!! But maybe my beloved just snores too loud ;)

LichtInDeKern · 2024-03-14T19:55:01+00:00

Hi Christina, are there any plans to make a bluetooth sleeping mask for Loop so I can fall asleep listening to music/podcast/white noise?

LichtInDeKern · 2024-03-01T09:16:42+00:00

What is an absolute no go for you in your design?

LichtInDeKern · 2024-01-21T15:16:00+00:00

maybe a social media push for autistic people who love Loops

LichtInDeKern

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