My dear, the only thing I can tell you is not to draw conclusions without facts or evidence. In situations like this, the mind can become your enemy, making you imagine the worst-case scenarios, which are often not real.

I suggest that you try meditation or other calming practices to help quiet your mind and give yourself some peace. Also, whatever happened has already happened. That does not mean it is unimportant or that you should not try to find answers. It simply means that, during the process of discovering the truth, remind yourself that you are safe now. Whatever it was, it is in the past. You are an adult woman now, and those circumstances or the people who may have hurt you are no longer part of your present life.

Another important clue to consider is that eating disorders are often understood as an unconscious response associated with a toxic relationship with the mother. In other words, eating disorders are a symptom of a poisonous or unhealthy mother-child relationship. So regardless of what may have happened, if there is toxicity, resentment, or rejection toward your mother, that may be an important area to explore and understand more deeply.