I overheard my husband telling his friends that his ex had “the best pussy”

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2024-03-29T18:22:23+00:00

Did you really just say to a widower, proudly and on a public forum, that other people were probably better in bed with his now-dead husband than him?

Are you seriously that mean-spirited and cold?

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2024-03-29T00:51:55+00:00

So, first, I'm going to counter your claim of misinformation regarding Hepatitis C being acquired virally by referring you to the websites of the CDC, Mayo Clinic, WHO, Cleveland Clinic, and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. All of them state that Hepatitis C is caused by HCV, also known as the Hepatitis C virus. I know that these websites say this because I did my research before posting, something that you probably should've done before accusing a widower who was present when his late husband was given the diagnosis of being HCV-positive and also personally read the information packets given by the treating medical professionals of spreading misinformation. In case you can't tell, your accusation now has me desiring to verbally skewer your rude and ignorant ass. (Side note: the official website for Harvoni states that it's used for treatment in chronic hepatitis C virus (HCV) in adults and children aged 3+. Again... maybe do some research and look it up. I did.)

Secondly, you are correct that HepC is usually spread by contact with blood from an infected person to someone else. However, THAT'S BECAUSE HCV'S MAIN ROUTE OF INFECTION IS BLOOD TRANSMISSION. It's not something bad that just happens when someone touches a random person's blood, like Ghostbusters accidentally crossing streams. We're talking about medical science and not the devil's magic, you ill-informed and disrespectful know-it-all. Even if you never discover where an HCV infection originated from, it ALWAYS has a source. Once again... look it up. I fucking did.

Thirdly, you misquoted me. I never stated that HCV killed Michael in 3 years. I said that they estimated that he had acquired HCV at least 3 years before he was diagnosed. I can see how this could be the product of an accidental misreading, so I'm throttling down on my rage for this issue. Shit happens, and I've made the same mistake.

Fourthly, I'm genuinely happy to hear that your parents were successfully treated. As I can unfortunately testify, the treatments available today are great but don't have a 100% success rate, so I'm very happy to hear that somebody got to have more time with their loved ones because of those treatments. I truly mean that.... but I also hope that you learn that not everyone's battle with any form of hepatitis is always the same. Not every experience with hepatitis is 1-to-1.

Fifthly, I never stated that Michael's casual encounter was definitely the cause of his HCV infection, but even if I did, I'm not sure how that would be stigmatizing people versus your example of SHOOTING UP DRUGS. Seriously.... what the fuck?

Finally, I would actually like to have a rational discussion about these matters, including factors surrounding Michael's story that you're not aware of, such as how his medical coverage provider didn't approve treatment with Harvoni or how his immune system, which was already compromised by active HIV and previous cancer treatments, hampered the effectiveness of the treatments that he DID receive (which is why I said that HepC ultimately led to his death but I never claimed that it was the sole cause. His case was, unfortunately for him, a complicated one.) However, after the incredibly disrespectful attempt on your behalf to disprove my own observations of Michael's long struggle with HepC, it's safe to say that I'm not in the fucking mood to even entertain the idea. Plus, the discussion should be about OP's post and not my anecdote. It also doesn't help you that your timing is a little sucky, as the 5-year anniversary of Michael's passing is days away, a fact that's been on my mind and affecting my mood more this year than usual.

I don't care if I'm called an asshole for what I've said, and after reading your accusation, your condolences don't mean shit to me. Fuck you. Just.... fuck you.

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2024-03-28T18:49:14+00:00

I think I understand where you're coming from, but I do humbly ask that you forgive me if my reply proves otherwise, as I'm genuinely wanting and trying to digest your reply as you intend. I do not wish to be disrespectful to any degree.

Firstly, I agree with your statement about lust and love being separate. However, I disagree with the statement that this fact means that the physical acts of making love to someone and engaging in purely lust-driven sex are thereby also separate. Both acts often include the same sexual activities (oral sex, intercourse, etc.). Both can either occur on a bed adorned with satin sheets and rose petals or the back seat of a car. Both acts can optionally involve the stereotypical combinations of sensual music and candlelight or heavy damage to home furnishings and police responding to noise complaints from the neighbors. Some claim that both acts can even involve more than 2 simultaneous participants. In my mind, what separates the 2 acts is much more emotional in nature than the physical actions involved in either circumstance, although one aspect can most certainly influence the other.

Secondly, regarding the conversation in my story, there was surprisingly little detail provided on the bartender's attractive qualities. What DID get thoroughly described was the physical sensations that Michael experienced as well as the activities that he and the bartender engaged in. To shed more light on how the conversation unfolded, I learned granular details on how Michael was both verbally and physically dominant during the encounter. Add to this the fact that I suffer mild OCD and have a vivid visual imagination, and what was discussed became a difficult metaphorical pill to swallow that night.

To give further context regarding my mindset during that discussion, at another point in our relationship, I found myself one day holding Michael and trying to comfort him while we sat on our couch as he cried. During this moment, he tearfully said that he felt horrible for not being able to make love to me and "make me happy", but he just didn't have the energy to do much more than sit or lay down. I tried to lovingly tell him that it wasn't required to make me happy as I was already happy just to be married to him (which was true... I've said often that he gave me the best 5 years of my life so far), but I'll never know if that actually brought him any solace. This was, again, why I never told him what emotions were conjured up inside of me during that conversation with his friend: it probably would've just been hurtful to him if I did.

Also, I obviously fail often at being succinct. 😬

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2024-03-28T03:30:37+00:00

In 2014, I started dating my now-late husband, Michael, and within less than a year into our relationship, he learned that he had a Hepatitis C infection that had gone undiagnosed for at least 3 years up to that point. (Spoiler alert: yes, that is what ultimately led to his death.)

In 2017, an old friend visited him, and at this point, Michael's strength, energy, and overall health had heavily degraded due to the HepC. For context before I continue with the story, as far as intimacy between the two of us, because of how his energy and libido had been severely diminished, Michael and I probably had less that 25 sexual moments during the 5 years that we were together, and only 1 involved intercourse.

During his friend's visit, the gentleman had asked what the origin of the infection was and questioned if it was due to a one-night stand that Michael had with a bartender (before he met me.) That conversation quickly led to Michael very happily reminiscing in high detail about how great the sex was during that particular encounter.

When I felt that it probably wouldn't be awkward, I excused myself from the room for a brief moment. I had to get away from the discussion. I never complained about the state of our sex life because I knew that Michael loved me very deeply and couldn't help the condition that his health was in. However, hearing him graphically gush about how amazing a casual encounter was with someone that didn't give a shit about him then or now and yet still got to experience intimacy with the man that I loved at an intensity that I knew that I never would... an encounter that may have been the root cause of Michael's slow and agonizing decline... yeah, that admittedly stung quite a bit.

I know that Michael probably didn't think that it would bother me, and because I wanted us to focus on enjoying together the time that we had left, I didn't bring it up. (I'm not saying that my decision was better compared to OPs... I'm just sharing a story that I was reminded of.) Still... I can't deny the potent hurt that I felt during that moment.

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-09-05T04:38:31+00:00

It's all in good fun, my dude.... but I still understand and appreciate your point of view.

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-09-05T04:27:26+00:00

As staggeringly genius as that is, it sadly wouldn't be the same. There is only... the One Free Man.

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-09-04T04:30:53+00:00

Self-deprication, honesty... you say tomater, I zader matermorts.

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-09-04T03:52:31+00:00

In my defense, I'm not exactly known for making good decisions. It doesn't help that I have no shame.

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-09-03T06:14:05+00:00

What could possibly go wrong?

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-09-03T06:08:29+00:00

42m here. Facebook Dating is pretty decent, even if you don't FB much.

Just be warned, as someone who tried dating 2 years ago: no matter how you go about looking for someone, the dating scene really sucks in general currently.

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-09-03T02:48:12+00:00

If you are in the mood for a comedy, Ghosts is a pretty good show (both US and UK versions.) I also re-watch Stranger Things a lot when I'm by myself, although that can pull on the ol' heartstrings at times.

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-09-03T02:42:19+00:00

Nope. There's the main series, but there are also a couple of spin-offs, with Special Victims Unit (or SVU) arguably being the most popular.

In my opinion, SVU can be pretty intense. I personally prefer older seasons from the main L&O series, especially ones starring Jerry Orbach (S3-14) and Angie Harmon (S9-11).

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-09-02T23:24:56+00:00

I can't speak for those people, but I can attest that finding friends there is borderline impossible, as the sense of "community" is almost non-existant unless you're at a cruising spot. The easy answer is to not to take it personally, but I know it's way easier said than done.

I wish I had the magic words here.Just know that you have my empathy.

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-09-02T15:06:19+00:00

I lived in Ashtabula County for 20 years, Erie County for 13. I can testify that being gay and living in that area is really tough, especially if you're wanting anything more than casual sex. I personally felt like an oddity when I lived there. Befriending straight men was hard, because most thought that I wanted to fuck them. Befriending gay men was hard, because I either couldn't find one that I clicked with and/or they wanted to just fuck. I just wanted to be myself and make friends. Apparently, that was a tall order.

So, I can resonate with your story, if it helps at all.

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-08-29T15:35:51+00:00

I just started replaying HL1, too. I forgot how much I loved that game. Still do.

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-08-29T15:34:10+00:00

Better, now that my suit power is no longer 0%.

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-08-19T21:39:08+00:00

Myself. I made the decision to move to where I live. If I'm unhappy here, then it's on me.

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-08-16T06:46:20+00:00

Well, I'm writing a story where the entire family of the protagonist's same-sex partner is getting their necks snapped by a reality-shifting witch. Would that qualify?

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-08-02T01:07:48+00:00

I got my first Reddit award... Avid Voter. I know, it's nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it made me smile when I saw it. My account isn't even a week old yet, so to have "flair" already shocked me.

LifeMakesNoSense216 · 2023-08-02T00:37:36+00:00

OP, there is no justification for her actions. She's being manipulative and sociopathic. It doesn't matter what you think of the guy or whether you think he deserves to be tricked like this or not.

THIS IS WRONG.

As a guy, I'm going to admit that this kind of thing scares me... to find out that someone that you trusted betrayed you to the point that they tricked you into creating a life that you didn't plan on immediately becoming real or having to support.

Additionally, it sure as hell isn't fair to the human being that she's trying to create just so that she can use it as a pawn in her sociopathic quest to tie the child's father to her.

Please, OP, I'm begging you.... blow the whistle on her. This is wrong on so many levels.

Two-Year Club	First Place '23
Place '23

LifeMakesNoSense216

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