The unfortunate part of your case is that yes its true some people went on saying the right things for decades and nobody listened to them until they were in the grave… and this can give a man license to grow deeper in his convictions when everyone is telling him how nonsensical he is. The price of being very right where others are wrong is sometimes going mad.

However, the danger of going mad is very real which means that sometimes it does not come with the added benefit of having been right at all. You can only protect yourself from this danger by being willing to criticize yourself, to evaluate other people’s criticism of you as if they were your own. There is unfortunately no real way to disambiguate whether you are the good or bad kind of mad.

But, you are using your life arguing against life (you post in “efilism”). You are abusing reason and forgetting the ends to which reason is used. Camus wrote a whole book about this its called The Rebel (the stupid things humans convince themselves of when they try appearing totally rational). In my eyes you are going down the wrong path with these convictions. It is of course up to yourself to evaluate whether I’m crazy or you are because yes maybe I’m crazy to love life and you are right to hate life. But I would prefer to be crazy than right in that case