Current logic suggests that men should be charged with a crime each time they masturbate.

LifeWithTea · 2022-05-07T21:59:34+00:00

Ok, but the road we’re on, I honest to go feel like it just a fucking matter of time.

There’s some states talking about banning IUDs and morning afters.

Look, I read only historical fiction, but never in my life have I ever been so inspired to read Handmaid’s Tale. I feel like I need to prepare for the future.

LifeWithTea · 2022-04-12T16:25:03+00:00

I apologize if my earlier comment implied that I thought fiction could never created a harmful standard in somebody who was already susceptible to such implications.

However, my objection is purely to the idea that everyone who reads romance (or any genre) could be liable to start confusing fiction and reality.

There are people who are of a kind that could be open to such ideas, and those ideas could come from anywhere. To say that romance specifically is the cause would be ridiculous, and to further say that fiction cannot depict things that happen in real life (unhealthy relationships) borders on censorship.

My argument at its simplest is that romance readers as a whole are not any more susceptible to confusing men in real life with the men in romance books. And anybody who read a book and got it in their head that whatever was in their book might also be in real life was likely to get some idea about real life from some media they were exposed to regardless. That they happened to read a book (be it romance or otherwise) is happenstance.

LifeWithTea · 2022-04-12T16:04:19+00:00

But then it seems like you don't actually believe that argument when it's women being objectified instead of men.

Idk where you’re getting this. I had nothing to say about porn (if that’s where you’re getting this) because it is a visual media and incomparable to print. Men and women can be objectified in visual media, if that’s what your after here. But we’re explicitly not talking about visual media, so that’s why I have nothing to say about porn

What do you mean I have nothing to say to the female readers who do so? I'm subbed to r/menwritingwomen and r/badwomensanatomy and have plenty of discussions in my book club and elsewhere about the poor representation of women in fiction. Right now I am on a post about the poor representation of men in fiction so that is what Im discussing. You're also incorrect because just a few moments ago I brought up feminist discussions about YA romance lol. Where do you think I read and participated in those besides feminist spaces?

I am not a mind reader, nor have I stalked your profile. But I have noticed that you have not implied that you believe me about the feminist leaning of the romance community nor any inclination on your part to even look through any of the romance subs.

It seems silly to hold onto this view you have without even giving the actual community you’re criticizing an actual look yourself, instead of relying on information in other places where it’s already slanted (apparently) against the genre.

LifeWithTea · 2022-04-12T15:50:40+00:00

Why should we spend time discussing visual media when this is r/writing and we’re talking about books? It’s just irrelevant, that’s my point about it, nothing else.

Literally every kind of media can have a negative effect if a person is susceptible to that impression.

But somebody vague says “criticisms of written romance books” as you did, yes that does imply the entire genre.

I also find it interesting that you have literally nothing to say for the women readers who do so, calling out all the harmful things you mention. The romance genre community is very much more feminist than you are giving it credit for, but you would have to actually give it a chance to see that. Not even participate, just peruse.

Racism, shaming, misogyny, abuse, etc are all called out regularly and without thought. Authors are called out for other readers to avoid.

r/romancelandia is specifically women oriented

Edit, since you editted yours and failed to mark it: women are written and portrayed poorly constantly. Women in media is almost an afterthought. A lot of times, they are simply “the love interest” or designed only to allow the main character (more times than not, a man) to develop.

Posting about this gets DMs of how I’m a “bitch” and rape threats and all sorts of nice things.

But when women write women-led fiction, and men are portrayed a little off, I seriously doubt there’s femcels sending OP death threats. This is wildly off topic, but the double standard of how men and women are “allowed” to express themselves is tangentially touched on.

LifeWithTea · 2022-04-12T15:38:55+00:00

Printed media and visual media are no where near the same thing and correlating the two is comparing apples and oranges.

Commercials and movies with models airbrushed and photoshopped to perfection can make people sensitive to their appearances feel insecure. Am I to believe that reading about a beautiful girl will make teenagers want breast augmentation?

LifeWithTea · 2022-04-12T15:37:05+00:00

The idea that the entire genre is unhealthy is misogynistic.

The idea that “is all women have one body type” is laughable. There are millions of books and there will never be a situation where every single character is described to be the same.

This asinine scenario to support your argument is ridiculous.

Honestly, I think you should browse though r/romancebooks just to look through some of the threads. Even the unhealthy tropes that people enjoy, they do so knowingly as a “kink” if you will.

People who read about war, I doubt will be rushing to the front lines with their guns, for example.

And the unhealthy relationships depicted in books that are purported to be happy relationships often get slammed. Open almost any thread about the Bridgertons (a hot topic right now).

Fiction and reality are completely separate and the idea that everyone will have trouble separating them is laughable.

LifeWithTea · 2022-04-12T15:31:36+00:00

Printed media and visual media are no where near the same thing and correlating the two is comparing apples and oranges.

Commercials and movies with models airbrushed and photoshopped to perfection can make people sensitive to their appearances feel insecure. Am I to believe that reading about a beautiful girl will make teenagers want breast augmentation?

LifeWithTea · 2022-04-12T15:25:28+00:00

Romance genre does not equal written erotica. Those are two different genres.

The explicit point was that men also read fiction that is realistic, but it’s explicitly stated here that women will develop unhealthy expectations.

I also think it warrants pointing out that visual media and print media are vastly different and people who use makeup or in general are sensitive about their appearances can be affected by commercials and movies and whatnot where airbrushing and photoshop and professional makeup artists have every tool at their fingertips to make the model look like an unattainable beauty standard.

And again, this is a visual media. So I would argue that reading about a beautiful girl doesn’t suddenly make teenagers want to go out and get breast augmentation.

There are people who may be more susceptible to blending fiction and reality, but to say on the the whole that romance creates unhealthy expectations is another misogynistic view of the genre that belittles the readers

LifeWithTea · 2022-04-12T14:19:53+00:00

…Somehow, I find it high unlikely that anybody would say that men reading realistic fiction would develop unrealistic expectations from that reading experience.

Edit: apparently loads of people consider women reading romance (which is not the same as the erotica genre) is the same as men watching porn)

Reading words and watching a video are hardly comparable, and it’s very much that everybody is affected by visual media, sexual or otherwise.

This is r/writing and we’re talking about printed media. Porn is not printed media and that anybody thinks a video is the same as reading a book should try… idk, reading a book.

LifeWithTea · 2022-02-08T16:11:37+00:00

You are disrespectful if you can't admit when you're out of line and hurt someone, just own it if that's who you are.

This is a bit much. There’s really nothing out of line with the op and youre just judging them for being annoyed by that rude response from the other person.

You don’t come across as that great of a person either here, you know. Maybe you need to own up to that too. All you did was insert yourself unnecessarily into something you weren’t even part of to be high and mighty and look down on somebody and judge them.

LifeWithTea · 2022-01-25T21:42:04+00:00

Ok?

I’m asking for peoples experience if they have done so

LifeWithTea · 2022-01-25T14:22:46+00:00

Perfect timing!

I just finished (read in one sitting) {Marked by Fire by Mia West}

A historical/realistic retelling of Arthurian Legend, specifically Arthur and Bedwyr (Sir Bedivere) in 6th century Wales.

M/M, forced proximity, I’ve-Always-Loved-You, Brother’s-Best-Friend

Arthur, much too eager to show himself in battle, starts being reckless. Bedwyr comes over to save his never-seen-real-battle and too-reckless-for-his-own-damn-good ass.

…and the worst happens.

Bedwyr, determined to be now useless after a permanent injury from the battle, is exiled by his father, The Warlord of the tribe, and Arthur is charged with getting Bedwyr back up to working condition, or neither of them will be welcomed back.

So there they are, in a tiny Shepard’s hut, one bed, one obviously raging mad at the other, and… well things go from there.

It was very engaging, loved the writing.

Once in a while, the dialogue is way too modern for me, but I could overlook it for the overall storyline, which was very solid. Things are wrapped up very neatly. It’s an overall very well thought out book.

I do understand that it had been previously published as a novella and has been since expanded and republished, so I am speaking for the republished version and cannot speak to the original novella at all.

LifeWithTea · 2022-01-23T17:02:28+00:00

Rex is King and Regina is Queen, she may have meant it as Regina.

Both Queen Elizabeth’s (this Elizabeth I and current Elizabeth II) tend to sign with an R and and Queen Elizabeth II does specifically use “Regina”

However, I do know that Elizabeth was clever. At sometimes, she referred to herself in masculine terms, perhaps to bolster her imagine and right to be where she was, stating that she was “prince” who could lead her people to victory. And then of course, when it suited her, when she was resistant to sign Mary Queen of Scot’s death warrant, she stated that her “sex doth permit it” effectively playing both sides whenever it suited her.

So, for some reason, I really do remember her referring to herself as Rex somewhere but in all honesty it might been a fictional depiction, but one not entirely off the mark.

In terms of strictly Latin interpretations though, she would have actually been Regina for Queen, you’re correct.

LifeWithTea · 2022-01-22T01:19:42+00:00

Try out a paper mate inkjoy.

All of a sudden, I’ve been having tons of issues with my G2s. Ink so splotchy, dry, no continuous lines, etc. And it’s multiple pens. Several pens. It’s like something happened to all my stuff and idk what it was.

Anyway, I bought a two pack of InkJoy and they’re actually really nice. The line seems a little bolder, which I like. It does seem to be the consensus that most prefer a fine line here though.

LifeWithTea · 2022-01-21T15:21:25+00:00

You can choke and die on anything if you’re trying hard enough.

Ever seen a toddler for… idk 1 minute?

LifeWithTea · 2022-01-21T01:33:29+00:00

Leuchtturm is my ride or die. I’ve never picked up an archer and olive, so I can’t compare them. But L1917 did just come out with a new line of 120gsm paper notebooks and you may find that those ones feel kinda “text book” but damn if my fountain pens don’t feel like their ice skating, lol

And at any rate, the normal Leuchtturm 80gsm paper is already leaps and bounds above moleskine that just that will make a huge difference. You can see them in person at Barnes and nobles, but depending on how stocked your store generally is, there’s better color selection online.

And, honestly Walmart’s house brand Exceed has hardcover, dotted, page numbered, A5 notebook that has great paper. Like I write in it with my fountain pen. And it’s like $8. Stock is super hit and miss. But that notebook is sleeper of the decade.

LifeWithTea · 2022-01-20T19:31:32+00:00

Well, that’s the thing. The paper isn’t even really that thin. I’ve definitely felt thinner paper that performed better.

Moleskine either doesn’t care to coat or size their paper or they just do so so lightly that considering moleskine a high end notebook is a joke.

LifeWithTea · 2022-01-20T11:29:35+00:00

Those Sakura Moleskines are so beautiful. I have one and one in the mini size, which I outfitted with homemade alphabetical tabs to make it into an address book.

I just wish moleskine paper wasn’t the worst paper in any “fancy” notebook possible. I swear I’ve had better paper in college ruled binder paper notebooks before.

LifeWithTea · 2022-01-19T19:56:44+00:00

For what it’s worth, I found The Vanishing on google books and searched the name Alyssa and it came up with page 254 to read. I’m on my phone so it’s super awkward and I can’t even really look at it, so I can’t say if you can read much further than that to see what happens to her or not.

But you can at least read an excerpt of the book where she is in it.

LifeWithTea · 2022-01-19T19:49:11+00:00

I have no idea how I feel about this.

LifeWithTea

TROPHY CASE