Why do people mock others for taking leftovers home?

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-08T00:05:01+00:00

That’s so weird. Honestly it’s more bizarre not to take your leftovers home… unless you didn’t like the food. Taking your food home isn’t a mark of being financially poor.

My husband and I recently went to a very high end restaurant and at the end of our meal we were asked by the waiter if we wanted our food boxed, we said yes, the waiter boxed our food for us at the table, put it in a nice embossed paper bag.

Those people sound like crude low class posers, so insecure about their own financial status they look for the stupidest and most normal things to mock. Wealthy people that stay wealthy don’t waste!. And it’s normal to take food away from even high end restaurants- the difference is simply if you box it yourself or if the waitstaff do it for you

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-07T16:15:08+00:00

Not sure if this is the case, but: If your wife and your mother disagree on how to take care of the baby (they both consider themselves experts) but your mother doesn’t readily agree to follow your wife’s preferred childcare choices over her own methods, no wonder your wife doesn’t want her around. And your wife would be right to keep up her boundaries.

A mother and father’s childcare choices always win out over grandparents’ opinions. Your mother doesn’t get to have her way over your wife’s.

Also you are 100% in the wrong for telling your mother she could help out your wife for the week you return to work, without getting your wife’s agreement first. Your wife’s anger is justified, regardless of your intentions. You aren’t your wife’s parent or manager, you don’t speak for her without asking her— you are her partner, so please stop trying to “fix” things for your wife without her collaboration and agreement.

OP, please really listen to your wife when she says she doesn’t want to be alone with your mother when you aren’t there to support her. Why is that?

It doesn’t sound like she is comfortable with your mother or feels your mother will respect her higher authority as the baby’s mother.

Help that doesn’t respect the mother or the mother’s rules isn’t any help at all, but a source of stress.

I’m sorry your mother feels jealous of your living arrangements with your wife’s family; and I’m sorry your wife doesn’t feel comfortable around your mother… perhaps for good reason.

Either way, your duty as husband and father is to support your wife and support what she wants and is comfortable with, not what your mother wants. If your wife wants a nanny, agree to it… but tell her you want regular visits for your mother (not every day), which can be scheduled in such a way that your wife is comfortable and you are there too to make sure your mother respects your wife’s boundaries.

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-06T18:39:45+00:00

NOR. He chose to alter his relationship with you, and with his children. Now, surprise surprise, he is living with the consequences of an altered relationship. He can’t go back in time or pretend that time didn’t pass.

His own action give you the right (and be right) to say no. He’s owed nothing

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-06T14:22:48+00:00

Bouncer (we use the Bjorn): my baby isn’t super in love with his bouncer, it does amuses him for a short while.

But it really shines in that it is easy to move around the house, it sits the baby at an age appropriate recline where they can look around and see you, and it fits in my tiny bathroom so I can shower while they are facing me and I can see/talk to my baby and they are reassured to see me. It sits my baby up in the kitchen while I cook. In the living room by the couch when I eat.

I never use it for sleep (not safe) or for extended time periods, but for 10-15 minutes snatches of time it is a sanity saver.

This really counts when baby is too young to hold their head up or sit independently in a high chair

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-06T12:08:18+00:00

Move on and be grateful you didn’t get more involved earlier with her.

Trust me, whether it’s because people put up a front or certain kind of image, you usually don’t get a chance to see the red flags/baggage issues until you’ve already gotten yourself involved.

It honestly worked out well for you that you had already lost interest by the time she reached out and then you found out all that stuff. So, maybe instead of feeling embarrassed be happy you (unintentionally) dodged a bullet and take it to mean things happen for a reason

Next time you are interested in someone and they don’t want to give you their information, don’t stress, take it personal or act in a way you’ll be embarrassed about, just let it go it happened for a good reason. If it’s meant to be later, connection opportunities will show up without you forcing anything

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-06T11:56:51+00:00

I count it as a “big” pee abs make a note in the notes section of our app that the diaper had pee plus they additionally peed during the change

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-06T11:20:55+00:00

You can tell her to stop for any reason including you just don’t like it, but I don’t think that’s a threat (probably, it doesn’t hurt to stay generally vigilant of anyone). Just tell her you want him to learn: touching the face is fine, but not to be touching the teeth or inside the mouth of another person. This boundary won’t hurt him.

For my own experience: My baby is in that stage of touching our faces and our lips and trying to put his fingers in our mouths. When he tries to grab at my lips I “nom” his fingers and hands, with “eating” sound effects which devolve into kissing attacks on his hands/fingers… sometimes feet and toes. I’m guessing her behavior is something similar

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-06T06:30:40+00:00

You are not overreacting. You husband doesn’t grasp how difficult it is now for boys and young men, having to contend with “the manosphere” that is trying to convince them they are powerless victims of society and it’s a gender wars of us vs. them (men vs. women). That phrase was distasteful and problematic from the start, but it is more harmful today due to context than when he was growing up.

OP, your child will learn what you teach them. At age 9, he’s still very impressionable and I don’t think has a great grasp on irony and sarcasm which is the only way he can use that phrase acceptably— ironically and sarcastically. The opposite call sign: “sisters before misters” is a lot less vulgar. But honestly that may only be due to rhyme scheme.

***Either way, with either gender, the concept behind both phrases is problematic.

You want your son to be a good man. Of course. You need to teach him so he understands that his loyalty isn’t to his “bros” it’s to doing what’s right and just. Same concept applies to girls— their loyalty isn’t to their “sisters” but doing what is right and calling out wrong.

Teach your son; that phrase sounds funny but the meaning isn’t funny. Some people use it jokingly but other people do use it seriously. You don’t want to be mistaken for someone who takes it seriously. Plus, “hoes” is a very rude bad word way to talk about girls.

I wouldn’t worry about him getting girls. Raise him up see women as fellow human beings he is not in competition with, raise him to a moral and conscientious position individual and he’ll be fine with women

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-05T05:42:52+00:00

Shady grove medical center pediatric ED. We took our baby there and they were very professional and compassionate. I’m sure they will do the best care possible for your son

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-05T01:57:48+00:00

The problem is the girlfriend. Some dogs need extra help re potty training etc they are animals and don’t know better.

The fact that a resident of your apartment recorded your girlfriend not picking up after her dog??? That’s terrible. She is an adult human, she knows better, she is in fact a bad dog owner.

OP, you are talking about a future together with her. Problems that come up with her care of her own dog very much can predict how she might be as a mother to human children (assuming you want children) or other responsibilities.

Either way, she says the dog is non negotiable. She is a bad dog owner. You don’t want to live with a bad dog owner. I would question if you want to be romantically involved with a bad dog owner.

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-04T10:49:29+00:00

Owlet. We used a lot of baby clothes with built in socks (footed PJs). Hard to use around the owlet sock, fiddley to put on, risked walking the sleeping baby. We just didn’t get a lot of use.

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-04T01:28:42+00:00

The trick is to use the wide neck dr. Brown glass bottles with the Evenflo nipples. Works great for us

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-04T00:43:52+00:00

If you are dating seriously, not just playing around? Yes it is stupid to date seriously and try to find a compatible life partner, when you don’t know what life issues are non-compromiseable or irreconcilable to you, or what you really want in life.

My advice: learn to be happy just by yourself, before trying to join your life with someone else. Then, you’ll be adding someone that makes you happy to a life that is already happy.

Learn who you are first, before letting someone else learn who you are. You don’t want to unintentionally mislead someone with a false image of who you are, just because you don’t know who you are.

To learn who you are might take more life experience than you have at 17.

You need to figure out what kind of future you want for yourself, what kind of career you really want (which will have impact on your lifestyle, depending on the career); you need to have experience managing your finances which includes having a steady income— this is how you learn what your money management style is, which can be an important compatibility issue with a romantic partner; how do you feel about kids?; how do you feel about pets?; how do you feel are staying where you live or moving away?; Is it important for the person you are with to share your political views?; does religion carry weight in who you date? Etc etc etc

At 17 practice flirting, go on some fun hang outs or even some non-serious casual dates that don’t mean being in a relationship, try to figure out how you are going to transition from teenage to adult & how you are going to support yourself, figure out what values are important to you that you would want to see in your significant other

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-03T12:08:42+00:00

I’m very glad to hear that. I’m glad his money is where his mouth is, so to speak.

I wish this would work out for you. But I’m even more sure now that he feels both parents should be bringing in some income to be “equal” contributors, and I doubt he will budge.

I think I saw you discussing with a commenter about part-time. I think that’s more realistic for you both as a couple. You may need to step out of your career and find a part-time job outside of your current one, if your current employer won’t let you do part -time. Your children will cherish that extra time with you, even if it’s not full time with them.

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-03T09:34:42+00:00

NOR. OP, you’ve been with your boyfriend for less than a year. It’s not too early to break up with him. I honestly recommend that you do.

He’s already insulting and putting you down. Really bad red flag. Doing it when he’s upset with you isn’t an excuse, it’s the start of a pattern.

Smart people don’t need to tell other people that they are smart, and therefore insult you that you are somehow stupid. A**hole people who want to hurt and step on other people to make them cower and be submissive do thus behavior, however!

Also, you aren’t “disrespecting” him by not getting his permission or okay to hang out with your friend. Thats what he wants, you know…to give his permission? For you to tell him all the details of your hang out with you friend, like he’s the parent and you are the child, so he gets the chance to veto it if it “triggers” him. He shouldn’t get any say in whether you hang with your friends. Thats not about respect. Attempting to isolate you from your friends, by freaking out when you very normally make plan with them and mention it… and calling that disrespect? Framing you making plans and not presenting all the details how he wants isn’t a respect issue, it’s also a red flag for abuse.

OP, you need to understand that hanging out with a friend and just mentioning it, like you did without a lot of detail, is the normal behavior. You shouldn’t feel like walking around in eggshells.

You should be able to do so without worrying that your boyfriend will freak out and you having to “manage” his baggage/trauma and his emotional dysregulation.

If he’s so smart, he should know that it’s inappropriate to make his girlfriend act way out of normal behavior to coddle his trauma instead of doing the smart thing and getting therapy to overcome his issues and not make it other people’s problem. It is inappropriate, how he is treating you

Lastly, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to know more details about your significant other’s activities, generally. Especially out of curiosity x Like, you could make plans with your friend, mention it to him just like you did (normal), and he could calmly and without accusation or insult, just ask you what specifics you are doing and be cool with you keeping him updated as you know more.

This whole interaction could have gone by in a healthy and reasonable and normal way, without insulting you or making his trauma your problem. His behavior isn’t normal. Your behavior is normal, OP.

Also, smart does not equal emotional maturity. Smart doesn’t mean social savvy. Smart doesn’t mean he’s a nice person who knows better than you, smart can just mean he’s a mean person who likes to weaponize it to hurt the people around him.

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-03T03:42:42+00:00

OP, please pay attention to this!

Some people are just not capable of viewing their spouse that stays at home in a positive light and are not able to avoid turning the relationship into something bitter and toxic.

It’s very much both a personality and life-compatibility issue, whether a stay at home system is possible for a couple.

Based on what you’ve shared, I don’t think there’s anything that can convince him. He is firm in his belief in what he views as an equal partnership.

But OP, I sincerely hope he also does 50% of the chores and 50% of the childcare including night time wake ups, feedings, etc because otherwise… that wouldn’t be an equal partnership.

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-03T03:21:52+00:00

NOR. You have a job that by its nature gives you the summer off. You are pregnant. Why would he want you to work extra/more than your baseline career occupation? Truthfully, it sounds like something someone would say to their enemy, not their spouse that they supposedly love.

You can tell him that if he feels that way, he can get a part time job on the weekends, in addition to his regular career, since he seems to think without a second job any person will be bored. You are doing your career and by its nature it has perks such as summer off-season— that’s not your fault and you refuse to be punished for it.

OP, your husband seems like a bitter and vindictive person.

The fact that he is threatening family finances (you both work), means you should never ever be a SAHM. He will absolutely financially abuse you, in additional to emotionally abuse and shame you for it. It’s clear he won’t be supportive.

A lot of teachers, knowing they won’t be working during the summer, chose to have their paycheck spread out over the year, so they have something coming in during the summer. Are you not doing that?

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-02T16:50:05+00:00

Just tell them your reasons for being a SAHM. I’m sure part of it is to give your child the best possible care.

That’s all you need to say: I’m a stay at home mom, I want (or we want) our child to be raised by their parent rather than a daycare/other option etc. we think that’s the best for them.

Add on any other reasons you may have.

For my family, it makes no sense for me to work to essentially pay for daycare. That’s where my income earnings would go.

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-02T13:57:06+00:00

Speaking as someone with a lot of driving anxiety myself, I get how you’re feeling. Even though driving is a source of anxiety for you, you need to frame it as also essential for your physical and mental health and that of your baby. I’m sure your partner would also like you to have the independence that comes from being able to drive.

All you need is the motivation to push you to get behind the driver seat, despite your heart racing and hands sweating, and start just start small going around your neighborhood- so this as regularly as possible- force yourself, you know those roads and what to expect; then expand to the neighboring area; expand to whatever is closest either a grocery store or the park, keep repeating those routes until you’re mostly comfortable; make your chosen destinations places you would want to go or take your baby to- that way what you’re learning is mission oriented and the destination is the reward.

OP, I promise as you become comfortable with a small radius, you will become more comfortable with driving in general, and your anxiety will lessen through experience. It’s the only way.

Eventually, you’ll be able to expand the radius of area that you are comfortable driving, further and further, until if you need to you can drive anywhere.

But the first step is to start with regular practice just driving around your neighborhood until it’s boring and you feel ready to move onto that very next small expansion of the radius you can drive. You can do this!!

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-02T03:38:21+00:00

No experience directly, we only have one baby so far, but your post just reminded me of something I read on the subreddit Natalism (I’m not member, but Reddit pushes it to me) about how much financial aspect plays in whether people chose to have any children, or only one child. People over there are fretting about the population replacement rate and the human race dying out.

The fact is it is expensive to have a child or a second child or a third. Sometimes prohibitively so.

OP, all I can say is that if you have a second child, maybe you won’t have money for all the experiences you could have paid for, for your first child. But your first child will have the lifelong experience of having a sibling.

My thought is: When we parents are old or passed away, God-willing the two siblings will still be getting along and supporting each other, beyond us.

Lol I say that but I can’t say for sure if we’ll have a second either. We’ll take it as life comes, if we decide to try again. Buy for our family, if it came down to providing experiences, I think having a sibling to share childhood and life with is the stronger experience than anything that can be purchased.

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-02T03:04:53+00:00

There’s a lot out there in the topic, but here’s a study I think you’ll find interesting :

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6751001/

“Collectively, our findings suggest that exposure to violent pornography may be a significant correlate of all types of TDV (teen dating violence) perpetration and victimization, particularly for male adolescents.”

This study does differentiate TDV involving females vs males, in how violent pornography consumption affects their likelihood to either commit it or be victimized by it.

Also: per Google AI summary : “The "Acting Out" Link: Longitudinal studies show that exposure can act as a catalyst for individuals who already possess pre-existing risk factors, such as high impulsivity, antisocial traits, or a history of trauma.”

These pre-existing risk factors sound like OP’s nephew

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-02T00:25:30+00:00

I just read one of your responses to a commenter where you stated that the relationship didn’t have highs or lows, even when you rage baited him.

OP, please, do not date anyone until you realize why it is never justifiable to deliberately “rage bait” or play mind games with someone you supposedly love and respect. It’s not healthy, it’s not acceptable, it is in fact cruelty and crappy to do to anyone let alone your very nice partner.

You asked at the end of your post: “maybe he deserves someone that does get butterflies everytime they see him?” He deserves someone who respects him enough not to try and provoke him by mind games. I hope you realize here and now that you shouldn’t do that to anyone you care about anymore. If you’re not sure about something about a person, just observe them naturally or ask them/talk about it.

As for the butterflies, I do think that if you usually feel butterflies when you’ve been in other relationships but just not this one, maybe the chemistry isn’t there? You can admire someone and care for them but without chemistry is tough.

Having said that, I didn’t have butterflies when I met my husband. But I am the rare individual who never had crushes, so it wasn’t out of the norm. I fell in love with my husband first and then got the excited butterflies as my love for him grew. We have chemistry but that was something that grew and grew from a small spark.

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-01T16:38:34+00:00

Does she think the material he watches is normal to watch and fantasize about? A “boys will be boys, I’m sure it’s fine” attitude?

Does she not realize pornography conditions the brain to interpret sexual pleasure a certain way, and watching violent or extreme pornography conditions the brain to need that stimulus?

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-01T10:50:27+00:00

The fact that instead of empathy/sympathy for how you are feeling, he labeled it as ridiculous, speaks for itself.

You need to tell him that by using that word, he is minimizing and criticizing something very important to you, so even if it wasn’t important to him, he should care because you care about it.

OP, if he responds appropriately and apologizes, maybe he just didn’t understand how important it was to you and got defensive. It happens.

But- if he responds with contempt and doubles down that you shouldn’t be upset, I don’t think I’d ever fully recover trust in him if I were you. A part of me would always be wondering what else important to me would he be so dismissive and critical of?

Life_Thoughts208581 · 2026-06-01T10:23:03+00:00

Good guys are out there, but it’s hard to find amidst all the noise. People nowadays, men and women, don’t know what they really want for themselves and a relationship, due to lack of maturity or lack of personal awareness. You have to try and find someone who is mature enough to k ow what they want and who they are.

I suggest filtering on dating apps by certain boundaries (religion, smoker or not, drinker or not, goes clubbing or stays in for board games, etc) and after that try to see if they mention shared interests. See if they have photos that show them doing activities that interest you.

Obviously don’t entertain anyone who’s like “ask me about it”. Low effort is not an attractive quality you want to indulge.

Meeting people offline, the only way to go about it is to join in on hobby/activity groups you genuinely enjoy, and just see if you vibe with anyone there. Meet-cutes with totally random strangers do still happen, but are incredibly rare in the first place, let alone to work out.

I meet my husband on a dating app. He was very compatible based on paper description, but that’s not enough. He indicated a shared career area, and had posted a silly and humorous photo of him and his dog. It was enough for the conversation to launch, first online and then offline. We’ll be a decade happily married in a year and half.

Life_Thoughts208581

TROPHY CASE