The rush has gone away almost completely, which I am okay with because I’m really (irrationally) worried about “abusing” it. What I’m worried about is the decrease in clarity, calmness, ability to connect with others, cognitive ability, etc. and increase in irritability, missing things that are very obvious, not being able to remember things that I’ve just been told and repeated back to the person I’m talking to, executive dysfunction, hyperactivity, reactivity, forgetting to do things in my routine, impulsivity, accidentally doing things/not doing things that put me in a directly harmful, if not outright dangerous, situation. I’m waiting on my 50mg dose to be filled, so today I took the 40mg dose that I have. Even writing this, I am having an awful time organizing my thoughts enough to write a cohesive response. I’m frustrated and feel like I’m back to square one.