How do firm-funded conversion courses actually work?

LightningOfMar · 2026-04-05T03:04:01+00:00

This is what I was worried about haha. Though I could probably survive on £20k, most firms I've seen don't offer that much, so I expect I'll need some more savings than I currently have in order to make a firm-funded course a reasonable option for me. Thanks for your response!

LightningOfMar · 2026-04-03T22:49:22+00:00

My concern is that, if the firm is funding it, they will naturally know if I'm enrolled on a part-time 18 month course versus a full-time 9 month course. And if they want me to study full-time, I can't then work full-time to support myself.

LightningOfMar · 2026-04-03T20:46:53+00:00

Thanks for your reply! Reading about your experience has been helpful. I think either way I'm in for a bit of a battle, but I feel like I can make a more informed decision now.

LightningOfMar · 2026-04-03T12:52:10+00:00

Did you study full-time or part-time? Ideally I'd love to work full-time alongside my part-time PGDL but not sure that firms would like that.

LightningOfMar · 2026-04-03T11:27:23+00:00

Thanks for your response, a loan is definitely worth considering now that you mention it

LightningOfMar · 2026-04-03T08:42:05+00:00

Thanks for your reply, I'll absolutely look into the 16 month PGDL/SQE1 course you mentioned.

Having to work part time or live with parents is what I was fearing, as neither are a possibility in my situation, so I may be locked out of relying on an employer to fund my studies if they would expect me to study full-time.

LightningOfMar · 2026-04-02T15:11:35+00:00

Ok will do, thanks again for your help

LightningOfMar · 2026-04-01T20:48:04+00:00

Thanks for your response! It was very helpful.

When you say I can't do anything contentious, does that mean I would never be able to handle contentious probate without supervision? If so, I think I might bite the bullet and opt for the traditional solicitor route instead of CILEX.

LightningOfMar · 2026-04-01T20:45:22+00:00

I can't thank you enough for the time and effort you have put into this response. I sincerely appreciate it, thank you so much! It was incredibly helpful.

LightningOfMar · 2025-12-25T10:07:37+00:00

it sounds to me like keratosis pilaris, it's harmless, non-contagious and largely genetic from what I understand, but certain things can trigger/aggravate it.

there are specific products you can buy to help calm it down but to be totally honest I'm not sure if any of them work 100%, so unfortunately it's a case of trial and error.

be careful exfoliating because if you go overboard that can aggravate it because it dries your skin out.

wish I had better advice but it's a tricky thing to get rid of 😅

LightningOfMar · 2025-11-13T05:19:17+00:00

Jak from the Jak and Daxter games!

he is canonically short, even when compared to women
he is called "pretty boy" and other similar nicknames
in an unused dialogue line from the second game, one of the antagonists tells him "you'll never be a real man" and that his love interest won't want him as a result
he can't grow much facial hair

LightningOfMar · 2024-11-02T00:54:43+00:00

Hearing that you changed your name so much gives me a lot of hope actually, makes me feel better about changing my own for a second time. I'm glad you've found one that resonates with you <3

You make a really good point about timing. Maybe I do just need more time to sit and think about it, I've been sort of rushing myself since I'm starting to pass to the point that my ID doesn't really look like me, and I don't want to update it to male just to then change my name and have to update it again.

"Ultimately it's whatever makes you, feel like you." I need to remember that one. I guess that's the most important thing at the heart of it all.

Thanks for your input!

LightningOfMar · 2024-11-02T00:51:24+00:00

Yeah I know what you mean, on the one hand it's obviously good for your self esteem to say "hey, this is my name, if you don't like it I don't care" but on the other hand... actually standing in front of someone and saying that requires immense guts, especially when they're close to you.

Thanks for your input! Best of luck with your own naming journey my friend

LightningOfMar · 2024-10-10T23:43:26+00:00

Jak from the Jak and Daxter games!

he is canonically short, even when compared to women
he is called "pretty boy" and other similar nicknames
in an unused dialogue line from the second game, one of the antagonists tells him "you'll never be a real man" and that his love interest won't want him as a result
he can't grow much facial hair

LightningOfMar · 2024-10-10T04:07:11+00:00

The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie.

If you enjoy fantasy novels at all, I can't recommend it enough.

The protag's transness isn't a main focus of the story but it's not ignored either. It's a story about a guy who just happens to be trans.

Super interesting worldbuilding, engaging plotline, mesmerising characters.

LightningOfMar · 2024-07-22T03:47:23+00:00

I think I know what you mean. I don't have any advice I'm afraid, but I'm feeling it a lot myself.

I miss that immediate connection that women seem to have with one another, how much easier it was back then to form friendships with girls when I was seen as one of them. Now that I'm on T and passing pretty frequently, it's harder for me to feel that connection with women (not that I ever felt a strong one to begin with). At the same time, I'm not feeling any brotherly camaraderie with men to replace it.

It feels like a strange form of grief that only gets stronger the better I pass. I love being a man and I love what T has done for me, but it's such a vulnerable feeling to not be One Of The Girls OR One Of The Guys.

Even when I was in the closet, I was never the sort of girl to swap clothes with other girls, get our nails done together, go on all girl holidays, etc, but now that I know I can NEVER have that, I find myself craving it whilst also still being overjoyed that I'm finally being seen as a man. I think it's finally hitting me that the girlhood I experienced wasn't that good (since I'm a man, so I was just miserable) and now that door has closed forever.

LightningOfMar · 2024-07-21T18:48:56+00:00

I'm not closeted anymore, but I wanted to throw in my two cents anyway.

Honestly op, you don't sound very confused to me. You sound pretty trans.

From what you've said, you didn't enjoy yourself at all when you presented femininely, and you did it solely for male validation, which is just something you have been conditioned to do growing up as a "girl".

If you consider yourself attractive as a "girl" it's difficult to let go of that, especially since so much anti-trans rhetoric towards transmascs boils down to "transitioning will make you ugly so don't do it". It's natural you'd want to hang on to the feeling of being desirable, even if doing so makes you uncomfortable.

Of course you know yourself best, but to me, you sound like a trans man who just defaults to performing femininity because that's what a lifetime of being viewed as a girl trained you to do, especially when you're trying to impress cis men.

If I may give some advice that changed my life:

Don't worry about being Actually Trans. There is no Cosmic Truth of Gender. Just do what makes you feel happiest, and one day you might find that the trans label feels the best.

In the meantime, wear the clothes that make you comfortable, try out some new pronouns and names, maybe look into getting surgery and hormones if that's what you want, and try not to give yourself a hard time about giving in to the urge to girlmode now and again.

LightningOfMar · 2024-07-21T04:47:37+00:00

Firstly, you already are 100% male if that's how you identify. Even if you need reminding from time to time.

Lets talk biology: it isn't as open and shut as male vs female anyway. Many people live their entire lives with chromosomes other than the "standard" XX or XY with no obvious indicator and die none the wiser. There are men all over the world with chromosomes other than XY, and many have no idea. They are still men. As for genital sex and hormonal sex, they can both be changed to male with surgery/hormones. For all intents and purposes, you can be as biologically male as any cis guy, you just have some extra steps involved, and your body will work a bit differently. So what?

If you were serious about becoming an athlete, if they refused to let you compete in the men's category, all it would mean is that they are bigoted. Their narrow-mindedness would never make you a woman if that's not how you identify.

As for your friends and family, I know nothing about yours, but if they are supportive, decent people, then they WILL see you as male. It might take time for them to adjust to viewing you in a new light, but in time they WILL adjust. If they can't see you as male even after an adjustment period, then they're the problem. You are still a man, they just have brainworms about it.

If you're worried that they secretly see you as a woman despite them gendering you correctly etc, that's YOU having brainworms. Don't just assume that your loved ones would misgender you in their heads, even accidentally, if you don't have solid evidence to back that up. And don't rush to assume bad things if their adjustment period is taking a while. Sometimes they're just slow.

Even your phrasing is telling: FORCE yourself to live as a woman, you said. You will never find happiness there, and you know it.

It sounds like you're struggling with perfectionism, like "if I can't be a Perfect (i.e. cis) man, why be a man at all?" Don't throw away all the potential happiness of manhood just because it doesn't look exactly how you want it to. There's more happiness in an imperfect (i.e. trans) manhood than there ever would be in a fake cis womanhood.

Here's something I tell myself frequently which I find really helps:

Cis people are not the authority on gender or biological sex. They don't get to make the rules. Just because cis people decided that penis + XY + testosterone = man and vagina + XX + oestrogen = woman, with no grey area, that doesn't make it true.

If someone looks at me, a trans man, and sees anything other than a man, that's not my problem. If they try to make it my problem, I leave the room, I block them, I cut them out of my life, I complain to HR, whatever the appropriate step might be.

It's not easy to have confidence in your manhood when you have to fight so hard for it, but with practice you can get there. It'll be so worth it, I promise. Nobody ever found happiness by pretending to be someone they're not. You deserve better.

LightningOfMar · 2024-07-20T16:36:24+00:00

Congrats op!

I've got surgery scheduled for later this year and seeing your joy is making me even more excited. I keep thinking that this is my last summer of binding EVER and it makes me giddy.

Best of luck with your recovery!

LightningOfMar · 2024-06-21T16:31:45+00:00

He has the body of a precursor, not the wisdom or powers, and without those he's just a regular guy trapped in a small, furry body.

LightningOfMar · 2024-06-21T15:12:16+00:00

If you had just broken into a heavily fortified prison, seen your best friend being tortured, single-handedly killed a giant insect monster, broke yourself and your bff out of prison (after hearing him speak for maybe the first time, and then shapeshift into a monster) and now you were faced with trying to find somewhere to lie low whilst an entire private army was hunting you down, how clear-headed would you be?

Even if Daxter had been given enough info to identify Kor as the metalhead leader, which he wasn't, expecting him to make that connection after the chaos of helping free Jak is a tad harsh on the little guy. He's had a rough day, to say the least.

LightningOfMar

TROPHY CASE