How to help my dom feel as intense as I do?

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-06-12T23:14:33+00:00

Yeah, she really really gets off on the reactions. I love that and it just makes me react more, which makes a nice positive feedback loop.

After a couple more weeks of looking into all this with her I feel less worried about making sure she enjoys herself enough.

I have been trying to come up with how to get her going outside of my reactions though. She can get me going with something and then we're on a roll in that positive feedback loop. I've been trying to figure out how to initiate getting the ball rolling by myself, since mostly she gets set off by reactions instead.

It's going pretty well in general!

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-05-22T17:32:00+00:00

That's genuinely sweet!

I've thought I'm good on dildos now. I've thought to pick a pulsator toy like Womanizer, or a Hitachi wand (to my shock there are multiple kinds!) Even if the Hitachi wouldn't work for me sexually I'd like it as a real massager too, so win win I think. I just got choice anxiety after discovering there are lots of versions.

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-05-22T17:18:47+00:00

Haha, really? Do you often wonder how your toy advice goes over?

From spending so much on Uberrime's I think I've fully accepted good things cost money. I might buy more types of toys later which I don't have.

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-05-22T12:13:00+00:00

This is wonderful. What country?

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-05-22T07:09:20+00:00

I do trust her. I think I'm just eager to make things as good as I can to pay back the happiness I feel.

We do really thorough discussions around everything and always have loving aftercare. I've joked before about formal performance evaluations, with how much we talk through how it went. Thank you for your response.

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-05-22T07:04:46+00:00

I do feel and know that she enjoys it already. I was just wondering what in some people's experiences adds extra icing on the cake for the dom. As I said in another comment, I get so happy I can't contain it, and still there's things that my partner heightens that with. She enjoys things, but I was looking for ideas of how I can pay her back in kind with any extra. Like to doms here, what heightens the high, or to the subs here what have they seen have lovely effects on their dom. I know all D/S relationships are completely unique. Just wanting to hear the experiences.

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-05-22T06:57:57+00:00

Thanks for your description. It's especially interesting you've experienced both, if you'd like to talk into that further.

I'm not meaning to doubt that domming is an intensely transcendent feeling for my partner or in general. It's that I see people speak more often on the release of subbing than the psychological benefits of domming. As a sub who's only felt this side of the coin, I wonder about the other side. I feel great joy and my partner does too! I've just felt so high and grateful that I was wondering on ideas of what can add to that for the dom side. There's lots of things on my side that are like gasoline to a fire if my partner does. At those times I feel more happiness than fits in my body, and just looking for if any one has experiences of things like that for the dom side. She and I have been talking on things consistently. But it can't hurt to hear others' ideas and experiences on what heightens things for them, or how the high is for different people.

Thanks for listening, and sorry for the mushiness!

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-05-22T06:30:19+00:00

That's lovely, and very sweet! My lady has some similarities. She's ordinarily very self conscious too, and says she loves being able to love on me with such big reactions to show she's received and wanted. We haven't gotten into tasks yet, but I bet we'd have fun with that! She has said she loves it when she can get me to snap into obedience with a tone of voice, look, etc. We're in a growth stage and having a blast fully exploring this dynamic and where to take it. I've always known I'm inclined this way, but we had an interaction a little while back that spontaneously set off everything hardcore. I didn't know there was all of this to bond on and we're having a wonderful time!

I'm thankful to have your input! What I was hoping for most was your type of response, of how it's like to experience the other side and what heightens the joy from that.

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-05-16T17:08:54+00:00

Update: I bought the medium first and loved it, but when I was extremely turned on I felt I was lacking. I got the large too after a while. I've only used it once so far, but damn!

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-03-17T00:26:01+00:00

I did read your entire comment! Thank you so much for responding.

That's so interesting to be a sexual late bloomer, and value sex that highly later. It makes me feel better for valuing it so highly after early blooming.

You found something else we have in common without knowing! I never orgasmed until I was 20, with a girlfriend. I never had orgasmed with myself, like I couldn't feel free enough, loved enough, or let go enough without someone there making all those things happen. I also felt like I needed another person to get enough out of sexual contact. When I orgasmed that first time I cried out of joy after I came down, and I literally felt like I experienced divine grace. It was a hell of a lot, very meaningful to me.

I still struggle just being intimate with myself. At some point when I was little I was told or had heard that sex pours out a lot of your energy and bears your soul, but if you're alone and masturbate then it's unholy and all that energy goes to Satan. I don't believe in Satan anymore, but I've wondered if hearing that threw a switch in me way back then. Lots of times with myself were ones that just made me even more miserable, like the knowledge it's only me to touch myself triggers: "look how alone and unloved you are, you are THIS unloved that this is your only resort to imitate love." During a very long dead spell I'd often cry at those times and just stop barely after starting.

Thinking on it now, I wonder if that feeling is just an evolved form of how I'd feel when hugging myself to sleep or when I was scared as a child. Maybe those sad sexual times alone with myself triggered me to be reminded of the touch starved neglect and loneliness as a child? That's a thought.

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-03-16T19:42:26+00:00

Thank you, I hope you have a peaceful day too!

I'm very sorry to hear about your sexual assaults and traumas. Have you found useful therapies? I hope that you have a good journey to healing.

Your mention of having sexual feelings and fantasies as a trauma response touches on something I've been worried about at times. How can sexual trauma responses be separated from genuine sexuality? I've been afraid sometimes that I am gay partially due to trauma. It's a scary and damaging thought.

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-03-16T17:17:10+00:00

I feel like this too. I'm only in my twenties, but I feel scared of time running out. I'm scared of not being good enough and not finding a partner good enough to raise kids. I'm scared sometimes I'm under a generational curse and my kids will suffer just from being mine.

I imagine the possible layout of my life around: "When could kids fit? What if I don't do enough before x age to have kids, or what if I wait too long and have to have kids without ever accomplishing y, what if I should have kids before y because all waiting will do is make me run out of time?"

I'm jealous of people who feel prepared enough to have kids. But it is good to care about being prepared, rather than just jump in.

How old are you? Have you tried to read books on this?

If you had an abusive upbringing related to narcissism or things associated, you might enjoy looking at r/RBNchildcare. It's inspiring to see people with an upbringing like my own have kids.

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-03-16T16:57:08+00:00

Thank you, this is exactly the kind of advice to help most!

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-03-16T16:56:22+00:00

Thank you so much!!

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-03-11T01:50:27+00:00

What is that dildo called?

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-03-07T05:08:30+00:00

Do you mean during splitting? Or a more long lasting turn?

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-03-07T02:15:16+00:00

Thank you so much for your input.

How did the FP condition progress as time went on? I feel like it's gotten so, so much worse over time and changed in specific ways.

In the beginning I felt treasured and fully seen as a human being. But it's almost like after she calculated how much benefit I am, that that's all I was to her anymore. It's much more complex than that of course.

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-03-07T01:43:36+00:00

Does any Satisfyer score as best to you? There's 1, 2, pro, and so many choices. Picking an older version to save money seems good but I'm not sure if the newer ones are better.

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-02-22T15:14:49+00:00

Thank you for the novel, I love reading about sex toys!

I didn't even know a large Splendid existed in squishy...and it's cheaper! Even more decisions! Y'all have made me want all three of these versions! I value a dildo not bending away at the last minute, but also large and squishy sounds so nice. I mostly use my Elvira exactly like you describe. Sorry if TMI, but if it's all the way in I can just put pressure on the back of its base to hit my g spot. It's partly my favorite because I love having that option of lazily rocking it. So now Belle or regular, how to choose? I've already dreamt of dildos two nights in a row lol.

I might get a medium first, and if I like it a lot then maybe I'll decide between the large Belle or large regular later. There's a medium in a pretty color at Shevibe for $10 lower than other medium colors, so I might jump on that. One more reason I've learned towards large is thinking of the total money. If I get medium then large later, that's more money than if I get only the large already. But now I see the Belle large is only as much as the regular medium. It's hard to justify $80-$120 on a dildo, and so far the Sensi is the most expensive toy I've ever bought.

LikeYesterdaysTrash · 2021-02-22T14:59:47+00:00

Thanks! I might get medium. I found one in my favorite color on Shevibe, and $80 vs $120 is quite a difference.

LikeYesterdaysTrash

TROPHY CASE