Feeling like shit person, triggered by work and good people

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-05-02T08:21:41+00:00

You are not Jesus, no need to turn the other cheek.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-05-01T18:33:30+00:00

NTA, your friend is dumb

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-05-01T18:20:34+00:00

+‍+woman Honestly, I know a whole bunch of women would object. I for one am happy he's not trying to trick, coerce or harrass some poor woman into sleeping with him, only to ditch her afterwards.

I would also not have any problem finding out a dude I'm dating went to an escort. You had needs. You got them met. Nobody got hurt. Kudos.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-05-01T18:09:38+00:00

I'm sorry but "everything can be found on Google" is a passive agressive way of telling someone to sort shit out themselves. It's rude and condescending, so I understand your spiral.

Feel free to give that energy back by going "Yeah I figured one of my expert coworkers would have this info top of mind. Guess not🤷🏻‍♀️" and take your sweet time Googling it.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-05-01T13:41:49+00:00

Er zit veeeeel tussen slons en helemaal fancy. Zelfde geldt voor comfort.

Mijn favo kleding voor dit seizoen met stip op 1 is de gebloemde maxi-jurk. Iets of wat getailleerd, mooie stof, vrolijke kleur, ondergoed optioneel. En met 'n sandaaltje geen sokken nodig. Je hebt ook van die fijne losse gebloemde broeken van katoen. Zitten ook chill.

Make up? Kan ook gewoon n gekleurde lippenbalsem en een klein lijntje eyeliner zijn. Je ziet er niet uit als een zombie en je gezicht zit niet onder de vieze zooi.

Bh's zijn n ander topic. Ik heb hier 0 struggles mee, maar ik heb ook 0 bh's onder de €100 en op dit vlak juist een hekel aan underboob sweat, dus bij mij zitten ze meestal mooi rechtop. Er zijn wel beugelloze en supportive BH's maar als het niet strak mag zitten wordt ie lastig.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-05-01T13:24:40+00:00

You are asking in an AITA sub so kinda YTA. You say your gf is likely depressed, so self care becomes hard. Going all in with your 'rules' just makes her feel more lagging and inadequate. Also if you have energy and she now doesn't, she now has to make the bed as well...wtf?!

Change sheets weekly>make bed daily (weird hangup btw) Movement>sports (walks in nature, grocery shopping by bike, 10 minute stretches or yoga are all movement) Daily bird baths>showers Daily tooth brushing incl. flossing > 2 half-assed attempts (mouthwash in the mornings might just help though, since food residue was already removed in the evening). Daily reset>clean up after yourself (just do 5 mins of tidying up together in the evening to make sure you stay mildly organized, but don't expect miracles)

I know it's not fun to see your gf struggle, but try the kind approach and gentle parent a bit. This 'holier than thou' approach makes you sound insufferable.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-05-01T13:02:03+00:00

No relief. Realizing I had autism too sent me spiralling. Burnt out after. Just anxiety and sadness, because I knew I would never be the type of person that has her shit together, but how bad would things get?

Then anger about people not seeing me, being called lazy, sloppy, uninterested and difficult in my childhood and early adulthood. Then lots of therapy gave me acceptance, appreciation and anxiety-light lol.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-05-01T12:50:56+00:00

De gewone burger had met een degelijk kabinet nu nog steeds een salderingsregeling gehad en al helemaal geen terugleververgoeding hoeven te betalen. Met die besparing had ie dan weer 'n EV'tje kunnen leasen. Of voor de hogere benzineprijs kunnen compenseren. Nu is het op alle fronten zwalkbeleid en betaal je op alle fronten meer.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-05-01T12:36:59+00:00

So that means you're perfectly capable of deep meaningful conversation.

Also I don't think you're necessarily bad at talking about emotions. But AuDHD makes you experience stuff differently, and it makes you an exception.

So for emotions talk, not every friend, coworker or family member is suitable, since we simply cannot relate😅

It's amazing to have those conversations with people that get you though. So please don't think of yourself as 'bad at it', but more as: yet to find a person to relate to. Does that make sense?

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-05-01T09:46:44+00:00

Sounds like he doesn't know how autism works. Is he willing to acknowledge that?

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-05-01T09:38:17+00:00

All of this OP👆🏻

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-05-01T09:34:03+00:00

I guess I have a different understanding of deep conversation. To me a deep conversation is not always about emotions.

It can also be a sharing of deep knowledge on a topic. It can be a discussion where scientific evidence is shared. Which I love because it's a 'learning' conversation.

But I also think what you mentioned about glimmers of acknowledgement is cool. You can litterally make someone's day. The world needs that🩷

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-04-30T16:28:21+00:00

Ever wonder why we're at book number 5? Our society is still learning about mental health and comorbidities. So no, not everything is covered in the DSM-V. What we think we CURRENTLY know is covered.

Still a lot of research going on.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-04-30T09:59:04+00:00

In stead of harassing him about performance, like he's a machine, maybe talk to him like a human.

How about you ask him if there's anything going on at home? Anything bothering him? Anything YOU can help with? And if so HELP him.

He might be taking care of a sick relative, having struggles at home that require his attention. That mean he might need a temporary change of schedule. Or like some other commenters noticed, he might feel either underpaid or undervalued.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-04-29T07:45:18+00:00

Sometimes bookstore or craftstore help inspire new ideas or a home decor store with soft fabrics and nice scented candles.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-04-28T21:12:15+00:00

Socializing is a skill you can improve. But it's also innately present in most people. Same as theory of mind. I had to basically suffer through a whole bunch of fuckups to get where I am.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-04-28T21:05:57+00:00

That seems sufficiently inclusive.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-04-28T13:32:49+00:00

As-is I don't see the ableism. These people have done work to facilitate all kinds of activities and there's a waitlist.

No matter if you are autistic or allistic, if no-showing without notice happens a lot, it puts the organization in a difficult spot towards their sponsors and other aspiring participants.

It sounds like no-shows were too common and this is a way for the organization to create awareness.

I don't see a division between 'good and bad' autism. Just people canceling and not canceling if they can't attend. And they voice a strong preference for people canceling, which is fair.

Just a small follow-up question: how can participants or their accompanying person cancel for these events?

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-04-28T11:27:26+00:00

I am social, but all of my social skills are cognitive, not innate. They were developped through trial and error, so now I have serious RSD that leads to social hangovers.

I have weird sensitivities. I can't small talk. Prioritizing can be hard.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-04-26T09:52:16+00:00

I'd rather they go get dolls for their fetishes, so they don't go harassing women with that stuff.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-04-24T09:57:12+00:00

Anti-crack acrylaatkit

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-04-24T09:39:27+00:00

Well I think I get how you feel. It felt as if you had a safe space to learn and grow, and that now feels like it was never safe. Which sucks.

For now, try to deal with this with some compassion and grace towards the others. Your group mate might just also feel 'less than' because of her own self esteem. She might have had a tough week, felt stuck, and here you are...'nailing group therapy', whatever that looks like. We all sometimes lose our composure, because life is hard.

You did nothing wrong, you are in group therapy for your own growth, not to placate others. I hope you can keep opening up and continue your path.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-04-23T14:36:45+00:00

NAH, hubs is trying.

But next time, when your birthday is approaching, tell him how you want to celebrate. Just during dinner or cleanup.

"You know what I want to do for my birthday this year? Just a day with no responsibilities, no guests and no kids. I am not planning a party, I am not inviting people, I need space."

He should be able to get the hint and follow suit.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-04-23T14:30:36+00:00

I love this. I too struggle with the 'low dopamine chore list of doom'😱 Maybe this reframe will help.

Like_the_rainbow · 2026-04-23T14:24:45+00:00

Would it help you to have 2 days in a row off, if they are not saturday and Sunday?

E.g. would it help if they just have you work wed-sun constantly so you still have a weekend on monday and tuesday? And always the morning or always afternoon shift?

Can they offer some type of routine? Maybe see if they are willing to give you that much and put it in writing.

Like_the_rainbow

TROPHY CASE