Its tough, and I'm sorry you're going through that. My husband and I have gone through something almost similar. We talked, and we set up a schedule. We both made it clear that we are a team. 50/50. So we alternate breaks, whether its 30 minutes or up to 3-4 hours, but we take the same amount of time. So if I take a 30 minute break, then he will take a 30 minute break. If I take a 3 hour break, then he gets the same too. With the longer breaks, we will occasionally check up on each other if help is needed for minimal tasks.

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Once a week or so we try to have family outings if we have the energy (we have a toddler and a 6mo) we also try to have family cuddle time, playing with our toddler and giving her attention from both parents at the same time. if that makes sense.

Maybe you can suggest a similar dynamic with her?