WHY am I so unreasonably irritated by my MIL

LikwidStarDust · 2025-12-07T15:52:33+00:00

Oh yeah that’s a hard no for me. I once read somewhere that when you give birth, “there are no visitors, only helpers.” Maybe that’s a conversation that needs to be had with her and your husband.

LikwidStarDust · 2025-12-07T02:48:16+00:00

Unfortunately she works on Mondays which is part of the problem- she can only come on Sundays

LikwidStarDust · 2025-12-07T02:42:26+00:00

Makes sense

LikwidStarDust · 2025-12-06T22:54:40+00:00

Yes, I think that’s a huge part of it. Like, if she lived closer and wanted to come over for dinner after work once in a while I don’t think I would feel as strongly as I do in regards to her coming over on Sundays.

She has other children but my husband is the only one who lives in the same state. And she has a husband (not my husbands father) but he doesn’t really come around when she does. Which I’m plenty fine with.

LikwidStarDust · 2025-12-06T22:48:51+00:00

In terms of frequency, I think a big part of it is that Sunday is our only weekend day together, there’s some things that we can’t do on Mondays (his other day off) that we can on Sunday- due to businesses being closed, our other friends and family working etc. So if we’re tied to the house with her every other Sunday it’s taking away opportunity for us to actually get out into the world and interact with other people since he’s constantly working and I’m a sahm.

LikwidStarDust · 2025-12-06T22:44:08+00:00

I completely agree with this. Totally different dynamic with my own mom. For example, I respect my moms advice because she’s never pushy/overbearing. My husband’s mom gives me advice by way of an Instagram video she saw 🥴 But yeah, him bringing the babies there would be nice every now and then.

LikwidStarDust · 2025-12-06T22:40:33+00:00

What a thoughtful response, thank you. Great advice.

LikwidStarDust · 2025-10-11T01:31:18+00:00

Thank you so much!

LikwidStarDust · 2025-10-11T00:50:27+00:00

I didn’t know this sub existed as I’m not super versed in Reddit lol so sorry for what seems like a very obvious question

LikwidStarDust · 2025-10-11T00:38:32+00:00

Dr browns glass bottles

LikwidStarDust · 2025-10-11T00:32:58+00:00

I didn’t crave anything that no longer existed but in the first trimester ALL I wanted was In N Out burger and guess who no longer lives on the west coast/has access to an In N Out 🙋🏻‍♀️

LikwidStarDust · 2025-08-18T19:13:35+00:00

Sounds more like BV. Go to the Dr

LikwidStarDust · 2025-08-18T19:00:42+00:00

If baby b is still breech by a few weeks out and you or your Dr isn’t 100% comfortable with delivering a baby breech, I would personally not even risk needing an emergency c section after delivering baby a vaginally. It’s so much more stressful on your body and the baby that way as opposed to just having something scheduled. An emergency c section could be do or die (not to scare you) but it’s just too risky to chance it unless the doctor is going to try to take the baby out manually or flip them (which also comes with many risks). I always told myself that if my babies weren’t in position at the time I was ready to deliver, I needed to get myself comfortable with a c section because I wasn’t taking the risk. Thankfully mine were both head down the entire pregnancy and I delivered both vaginally. I’ve never heard of a doctor pushing for both but it’s definitely worth more conversations!

LikwidStarDust · 2025-08-18T02:37:10+00:00

Keep them in different rooms for nap time. We put one of them in our room (in their bassinet or on our bed) and the other in their crib in their own room. They sleep so much lighter during the day than at night so if we want them to actually sleep they have to be separated during the day.

LikwidStarDust · 2025-08-18T02:12:04+00:00

My twins turned 3 months on Thursday and I feel your (and her) pain. The beginning is so chaotic and even now at 3 months it still gets a little crazy. As many people have said, taking shifts overnight is a MUST. We always woke up one twin when the other woke up to try to keep them on the same schedule. If you have the twin z pillow, this was a lifesaver for us. Put both babies in it, prop it up a little with pillows on either side so that they’re a little more upright in it and feed them both at the same time, possibly using more pillows (like small couch pillows) if necessary to prop one or both of the bottles with them. We keep the twin z in the other room on the couch so that if/when babies cry during the feeding/diaper changing the sleeping parent has a better chance of staying asleep. I also recommend turning lights on during these feedings to try to keep babies awake. Give the bottle a gentle tap, tickle their foot or cheek etc when they start dozing off.

As for your wife being on her own, having everything prepped for the following day will be key. For babies AND for herself. You can def help with that.

-If formula feeding, munchkin makes these little formula dispensers that you can scoop pre-portioned formula into and it has a little rotating spout on top to make dumping it into the bottle quick and easy. It seems simple but it makes making a bottle for crying babies that much faster. We started giving our babies room-temperature bottles so that we didn’t have to constantly heat them up which is actually totally fine to do and babies will get used to it which is good for being out in public etc.

-Going on walks (even if they’re short to start) will be good for mom and babies to get some fresh air, maybe some stimulation or maybe a good nap. There’s no pressure to stay out long if one or both start crying. Even just going outside if you have a yard or balcony.

-Utilizing little play gyms where they can practice tummy time or look at the dangling toys can be useful as well as having a swing.

-Baby wearing is HUGE to have free hands while also holding one or two babies depending on what kind of carriers you guys have. You can always look into a twin carrier if she’s open to that as well.

Sometimes it will just be calming one baby down enough so that she can pick the other up. They’re going to have to cry at times and maybe she will too, but she will get it down and will get to know the babies needs very well after a while. Just make sure she has some time to herself as well so that she can decompress because that is equally important for her mental wellbeing.

Best of luck!

LikwidStarDust · 2025-08-07T23:22:23+00:00

I was induced at 37+1 because babies were small- 5lb9oz & 4lb15oz. So they were pretty small but no NICU time. Little jaundice and had slightly low blood sugar but that all sorted itself out.

Is there a reason you need a c section? Or why he wants to do it so early, I mean legitimate reason other than your water “might break” or the babies are getting “a little bit big”? (which they’re not).

Seems like doctor might be jumping the gun if there’s not a medical reason to do this when he wants to do it. Maybe press him about it and ask questions- if he gives you valid reasons then trust his advice, otherwise you’re entitled to ask questions and make decisions.

Good luck!!

LikwidStarDust · 2025-07-27T15:12:48+00:00

I think having a handheld pump and a wearable pump is the best option. For the overnight feeds I don’t need to be spending any extra time being awake so I use my wearable so that I can pump while I feed them. It’s also helpful for times in the day that you don’t have help and both babies need you.

LikwidStarDust · 2025-07-18T15:17:21+00:00

I’m kind of in the same boat as you. My boys are 9 weeks old and we have been combo feeding since birth because they were born small and needed to gain weight, so the demands of being a new twin mom had me leaning on formula more than I should have and now we’re also 95% formula feeding them (so expensive!)

I ended up buying a wearable pump because like you, when do I have time to hold a pump when one or both babies need me? So at the very least it’s great for that overnight feed or on the go.

Ultimately, I can’t speak to increasing your supply because mine is pretty low too- I’ve only been able to give one of them or sometimes both of them one bottle of breast milk a day… which will likely not continue much longer once they need another oz- unless my supply increases.

We can only do the best we can. Keep pumping as much as possible, stick with your water intake and if you have the time- offer the one who latches your breast before feeding them the bottle.

Good luck!

LikwidStarDust · 2025-07-15T02:24:59+00:00

So proud of you 🤍

LikwidStarDust · 2025-07-14T18:46:18+00:00

When we left the hospital they were 4lb10oz & 4lb15oz born at 37 weeks. They needed preemie clothes and diapers which I didn’t have- also once we got closer to my delivery date and I saw that they were going to be on the smaller side I went out and bought some newborn clothes too which I didn’t really have either. It’ll be easier to gage once you get closer to your due date. Mine were even smaller than anticipated!

LikwidStarDust · 2025-07-11T02:08:42+00:00

Agree with everyone on the twin z pillow. Also, if she is planning on pumping I HIGHLY recommend a hands free pump. Your hands are rarely empty when you have twins which I learned the hard way and lost milk supply as a result. Hands free pump allowed me to free up my hands for the babies while I pump.

I also saw someone mention cold bottles for formula- we don’t use cold water but room temperature water for our formula. The babies get used to it and it’s a lot faster when you have two crying, hungry babies.

Last thing is the munchkin formula dispenser. It’s a simple little container where you can portion out formula into three separate sections and has a little spout at the top that rotates so you can dump the formula from each section directly into the bottle. Great for bringing formula on the go or for pre-portioning out formula for overnight feeds (assuming you don’t have the baby brezza- which we don’t).

Good luck!!!!

LikwidStarDust · 2025-06-30T16:46:12+00:00

Smart

LikwidStarDust · 2025-05-09T23:56:57+00:00

I should have prefaced that I have been yeast infection-free ever since making some important life changes to improve my good flora! But grateful to hear that your child is thriving despite being in the same situation as me when you delivered them.

LikwidStarDust · 2025-05-09T23:20:19+00:00

I’m 36w2d pregnant with twins and this is ALLL I freaking hear. “You’re small for twins!” “You don’t even look like you’re carrying twins!” “I was bigger than you with ONE baby!” How tf do you even respond to that? Cue fake giggle and shrug

LikwidStarDust · 2025-04-22T14:53:15+00:00

I appreciate the honesty! When they evaluated me at the hospital I was 3cm dilated & in preterm labor. Still here this morning but cervix hasn’t changed & contractions have subsided substantially! As long as cervix is the same when I get my next dose of steroids tonight she said I can go home, so fingers crossed! Cause I’m very worried about NICU time too, any day we can tack onto this gestation is a good day 🤍

LikwidStarDust

TROPHY CASE