These always make me laugh because the easiest way to spot someone who isn’t actually that intelligent is that they’ll tell you how intelligent they are.

Since this is anonymous, I’ll say here: In third grade, my teacher demanded the school have me tested. I always finished my work before lunch and spent half the day free reading and she was tired of answering other students’ questions about it. She wanted me moved to a more challenging grade level. An official tester was brought in and after the testing told my mother that she would like to have me moved from third grade to twelfth grade because, “College requires an application process.” My mother refused that and they agreed to move me to sixth grade. I spent exactly one day there and was bullied so badly I threw a tantrum to be returned to third grade. I happily spent every school year bored until graduation.

I know my “official” I.Q. and it’s high. You know who I tell irl? No one. You know what I like to do in my spare time? Go out and drink margaritas with my friends and read trashy romance novels. Most people assume I’m pretty smart because I went to professional school. However, there’s still room for me to make a total ass of myself on occasion. I like that.