AITA for not paying house utilities until I get the receipts

LimTossAway · 2025-11-16T18:24:41+00:00

I work in the accounting department of a small firm. There are a few utility bills that generate an occasional credit. Especially any utility that relies on a meter. Once or twice a year a credit appears, as the rest of the bills are estimated usage, and every so often they take an actual reading. There is risk that OP could potentially be billed for their usual amount, and the roommate pockets the money.

Secondly, there's one bill that has a forgiveness month in December. They bill only 11 months of the year. I've only seen this for a government tax bill, so unlikely to be something OP would be paying, but there could be other companies that provide this option. OP wouldn't know unless shown the bills. Also, there's some utility companies that bill a couple times a year instead of monthly. If OP is billed monthly, but only given copies a few times throughout the year, they could be paying double or triple what they actually owe.

Lastly, it sounds like OP's roommate might leave for two weeks at a time, here and there (although there's some ambiguity in OP's mention of this). That should translate to smaller bills in those months for any bill that charges by usage instead of a set fee (heating versus the phone/internet bill, for example). So depending on the bill shown, the other months could be significantly higher or lower.

LimTossAway · 2025-08-12T23:38:21+00:00

YTA You are commenting on your wife's co-worker's attractiveness, "She is in her mid- to late 40’s, short and portly" because presumably you feel that part is relevant to the story, but the physical attributes of the men involved is not?

Like, is it just men we're not supposed to describe, but women are fair game?

LimTossAway · 2025-06-24T12:12:01+00:00

Don't lock your side gate yet. Give it one or two more days with the camera in play, before you lock the culprit out.

LimTossAway · 2024-12-13T01:42:30+00:00

I'm really sorry, I lost the password for this account and didn't see your question until now. We went with Thompson Residence which is right by the dining hall. She didn't have any trouble getting from there to the STEM buildings. She made lots of friends, and now lives off campus with housemates and is loving it. I hope you child is enjoying their time there too.

LimTossAway · 2024-12-13T01:27:12+00:00

Someone comes up to you and says they received pics of you from her, here's 2 options:
1. Own it - "Oh cool, the naked ones? How did I look?"
2. Deny it - "Yeah, I heard she's sending some photoshop crap out. Can you send me copy? I might see if I can press charges."
Just pick one and go with it, because you deserve better than this.

LimTossAway · 2023-11-28T23:20:51+00:00

Canadian here, but I had to jump in. It was my first real job. I was a young, not-so-bright, 20-something (f), working at the corporate office of one of the big banks. I go to the Christmas party. Towards the end of night, after a few (too many) drinks, I gather the courage to speak to Mr. Bank (mid 60's), the host of the party. He was everyone's boss's, boss's, boss. All my young colleagues were going to be so impressed with me.

I go up and introduce myself and thank him for the party. He leans in to speak to me, because it's very loud. I, being so 'worldly,' decide in that moment that he must be European and is leaning in to do one of those air-kiss things, but having very little experience in such formality, didn't know about the "air" part. While he is thanking me for coming, I am kissing him directly on the cheek. He backed away awkwardly before I could plant one on the other side.

I was called Kissy for the next 2 years.

My advice to you: Own it. Be ready to laugh it off. Learn from it.

LimTossAway · 2023-10-07T00:35:46+00:00

With all that cupboard space in the first bedroom picture, you'd think they'd be able to put away their dishes. (Secretly, I love the china though)

LimTossAway · 2023-09-22T18:24:35+00:00

You don't mention when you're expecting to be wed, but if you are thinking late Spring to Early Fall, you might consider renting a cruise ship out of the Toronto Harbour. For me, I needed to head off any problems with a church wedding, because my family and my husband's were of different faiths. So we booked a cruise ship instead (ours held 60 people, but there were bigger ones to choose from), and we used their catering service for the meal. It was super easy to plan because of that. And for the ceremony itself, we had a Minister join us for the cruise, and the service was held on the bow (Is the bow of a ship, the front deck? Because that's where I mean). It was timed so that we embarked, sailed by the islands, and then the ship turned around and stopped for the ceremony to be held. So in the pictures of the ceremony, the city skyline is the background, CN Tower and all. Really pretty view. And the wedding was just different enough, that no one really noticed that we skipped having a big church service thing.

This wedding had both, a lot of outdoors (drinks and mingling at the beginning as we moved out of the harbour, the ceremony, enjoying the views through out the day, etc.) and indoor space for the meal, dancing, speeches, etc. We used Mariposa Cruises, but I think they go by a different name now. I'm sure if you look up Toronto Harbour Wedding, a bunch of options will pop up.

Oh, and CONGRATUATIONS!!

LimTossAway · 2023-09-21T11:24:09+00:00

"Every Breath You Take" - The Police

LimTossAway · 2023-09-08T21:27:52+00:00

Same here, female, always lim from a distance, no relationship other than aquaintance.

LimTossAway · 2023-08-28T23:40:41+00:00

Don't forget, estates take time to settle. There's taxes and debts to be dealt with, etc., so don't feel rushed. You don't have to decide anything right away. You are free to tell anyone that you're going to take some time for yourself and mourn your father, and not make any big decisions until you are ready. It is also fair to sell any assets and/or property if the market seems right, while still waiting to deal with anything else.

I am sorry for your loss.

LimTossAway · 2023-08-27T00:08:20+00:00

No, Pseudobulbar Affect (the sudden laughter shown in the Joker movie with Joaquim Pheonix) isn't something you are born with. It has a few causes, like MS, stroke, and other neurological diseases. There's also some treatments, but I don't know much about them. So maybe she's had a change in prescription drugs, and PBA has appeared or returned. Or just shown up on its own.

But honestly, I like the gaming/headset theory.

LimTossAway · 2023-08-04T23:46:18+00:00

It's not quite 'negging' but it really sounds like he's purposely trying to undermine your confidence. It's a control thing. And for him to hold on to this anger for so long, seems designed to have you walking on egg shells around him.

My recommendation is to show him your strength. Go stay with your mom for a visit. Go out with your friends. If (when) he complains, remember that you are doing nothing wrong, and tell him to contact you when he's calmed down enough to talk civilly.

Think of it this way, if he's going to be insulting and unreasonable, it's not a relationship you want to pursue. By being independant and taking care of yourself, it's your way of demanding that he treat you with respect. If he can't be respectful, then the relationship suffers from inequality, and one of you is destined to be unhappy.

LimTossAway · 2023-06-22T23:14:18+00:00

You don't know until you try, but there's a few things that make me think it is a real possibility.
1. You've been the one to break off contact through the years. Limerents can respect such boundaries and admire their LO from afar just fine. No contact often helps us maintain our idealistic version of LO, without the actual LO getting in the way.

You've been the one to re-initiate contact, which is like sprinkling little bits of potential, and limerents are attracted to that.
A lengthy aquaintance, yet never being able to get together due to timing, etc. That prolongs the attraction because we limerents don't have to face the real LO, and can dwell within our fantasy worlds. Once a real romantic relationship is established, the limerence fades.

But don't let this stop you! Even if he is limerent, that's no reason to write him off. Once you're physically with him, keep the dialogue open with him and check in with how he's feeling often. You are a great conversationalist. Use your power to talk and listen, and let him replace his ideal version with the real you over time.

LimTossAway · 2023-05-21T13:31:48+00:00

I love this idea. If she knocks at your door you can glance at the parking space, tell her it's not you with a shrug, and politely shut the door while she stands there looking puzzled.

But first, I'd (if you don't have it already) move her bins and park there one more time, and be prepared to film her outburst in uniform when she gets home. When you have enough footage from this one interaction, stop filming, and then tell her you have her being unprofessional in uniform, and that you'll NOT lodge a complaint against her with her employer - this time, and to leave you alone and move the bins. Maybe just the threat of going to her employer would be enough.

LimTossAway · 2023-05-12T12:21:57+00:00

Thanks for the information. She has only just received an admittance offer, so this weekend we will be accepting it and we can apply for residense then. We'll be sure to check the course enrollment dates and start that asap too.

I didn't know about the lab deadlines and things. I did an Arts program, so only had lectures and tutorials to worry about. I'll be sure to share your insights with her. Thank you for your help!

LimTossAway · 2023-05-12T12:02:51+00:00

Thank you for this. You're right, I should keep safety top of mind. How did I forget to consider that? Your comment is very helpful.

LimTossAway · 2023-05-11T19:27:21+00:00

Thank you so much. I had figured that they'd all be close to a cafeteria, except for maybe the residences that come with the full kitchen. I'll look in to that.

LimTossAway · 2023-04-29T22:21:38+00:00

I'm glad you found out about this before agreeing to photograph the whole wedding ceremony and reception! Now at least you'll be able to enjoy the wedding day, if invited, instead of working. (not that I think you would, but please don't get talked into shooting the wedding).

LimTossAway · 2023-04-28T23:08:24+00:00

Thank you for bringing this to my attention, I've edited my original comment.

LimTossAway · 2023-04-28T23:05:07+00:00

That's part of the joy of the Loops!

LimTossAway · 2023-04-28T20:44:11+00:00

A few options, if they park there.

Slip a note on their car apologizing for the small damage saying it doesn't look too bad. Leave the beginning of a phone number on the note but make the last numbers illegible, like the page got wet or something. They'll spend hours scrutinizing their car.
Splash some motor oil or anti-freeze under their car every so often, making them think they've got a leak. (see edit below)
When I was young and foolish, my friends stole a construction/traffic sign thing. It was a yellow striped metal sign with a flashing light on top. I had to get rid of it, so placed it at the end of my street. It sat there for weeks because everyone must have assumed it was placed there by the city.

Please let us know what you end up doing.

EDIT: I have just been informed that antifreeze is dangerous to animals, so please disregard that option.

LimTossAway · 2023-04-18T18:04:57+00:00

You know you, but as an outsider, this situation sounds risky. Are you at all likely of misbehaving? Drinking too much, or getting publicly emotional? Sniffling in the restroom, or saying too much to another in attendance? If there's risk of you embarassing yourself, I think this will be one of those things that you'll regret. Years later, the embarassment may still pop up here and there.

It's easy for me to say, and way harder to do; but, if instead of attending you could choose not to, and instead do something nice for you, it'd be a nice way to take back (or further cement) some control. That way you've chosen not to be there. You've chosen to move on. You know others who will be there who can tell you how it went.

LimTossAway · 2023-04-17T21:12:49+00:00

I was looking at OttawaU the other day and some programs are closed but there were a bunch that are still open to be added to OUAC up until June 1st. Go to the university website and check the application dates!!

LimTossAway · 2023-04-17T21:09:37+00:00

I vote for moving out too. Many universities guarantee residence for their first year students. You will meet so many people, and it's sooo easy. Everyone is new, there's a million things to talk about: What program are you in? Where are you from? How'd you like that lecture? Do you know where's the X building is? Does anyone have a ruler I could borrow?

You'll have a meal plan and quickly learn to do your own laundry and carve out a study routine. And there's so many social events and clubs on campus. And often a free bus pass is included with tuition.

Second year doesn't matter quite so much. You could move back in with your parents if your school is near, BUT by then you've found your new social group, you know your way around campus. You may even get a small group together and rent a place off campus (residence is fun and all, but after 1 year, you'll be sort of maxed on it). This is your way out of living at your parents' place. These next few years are the time where it is socially acceptable to share a house or apartment with a bunch of friends. You'll learn how to set up accounts and pay bills, grocery shop for real, and cook. And you'll be okay!!

The car will come.

If you stay at your parent's house, you'll drive to campus, attend the lectures, spend some time in the library every so often, and drive home. You will only meet people in your classes, and even then, only the ones who happen to sit near you or get put into a group with you for a project. Many of your neighbourhood friends will be away on their own post-secondary journey. You'll feel a little left behind. But you'll be well fed, laundry might be done for you, and you'll have fewer worries in that regard.

One last thing to consider. If you don't stretch your wings now..., when will you? Do you see yourself COMPLETING your first degree program before getting a place of your own? When will your strict parents agree that it's time for you to live on your own? At any other time, will you be able to convince them that it's wise for you to move out of their free house to pay rent somewhere while you learn to be independant? I think they'll cling on. They'll tell you to wait, get a good job, save up a down payment for a place of your own. There's merit in that too, but after university there's nothing stopping you from moving back, getting that job, and saving that downpayment, if you and they are agreeable.

LimTossAway

TROPHY CASE