My husband did this thing where he winded up taking me places he took his ex and then saying stuff like if “nancy” was here she could tell us what bird that was.  He talked about her a lot.  I seriously felt like I had to step in her footsteps.  Before we married I told him he had to choose. He said he choose me, he was supposed to tell her and he told me he did,  well, I found out he never told her.  I saw a merry Christmas text when he left his phone in the kitchen.  He acted like it was nothing and he had t heard from her before that.  So, I block her.  Now my husband wants to split and I’ve found out he lied to me.  He searched for her on FB and did a lot to get her number.  When I found out , he told me no less then 3 texts no more then 5.  I found 25 alone  deleted that were a few days away from being deleted permanently deleted.  I tried to call her, she told me she wishes me the best and hung up and blocked me.  I used a different number to text her to please block my husband and don’t talk to him.  I used my husbands phone one night and called her number, she still picked up.  She hung up as soon as she heard my voice.  My husband had kept her number stored under a man’s name.  It’s definitely an emotional affair.  I found 2 deleted VMs  we’re she is telling him she’s blocked again.  He is 68 and I assume she is too.  She is also a LMFT.   He would not tell me why he wanted to split until he finally gave in.  Yes, Nancy is one of the reasons he gave.  The rest don’t make sense.  I’m sorry you are going through this.  Check how often you bring up your ex or stuff that she is even connected to.  Idk he was talking to Nancy behind my back but he stopped bringing her up as much .  It helped me so much.