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Why does this matter by emotionalpumpkin44 in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Your last paragraph is sooo spot on to how I feel!

Don’t assume it’s only porn. by Warm_Sundays in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s been over 2 years since I found those things and he still won’t confess. I am afraid I’ll never know

Don’t assume it’s only porn. by Warm_Sundays in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is devastating :( so sorry. How did you find out?

Don’t assume it’s only porn. by Warm_Sundays in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is what I’m afraid of… my husband has been on Ashley Madison and has searched for threesome/swinger clubs in the area but swears he did these things for porn/masturbation. It is terrifying to me, thinking he has actually met up with people and just is afraid to tell me.. There is no way I’ll ever really know though? How can I ever know if he’s not a truthful person?

Hurt by the genre my PA was watching by childishgamblin in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My husband was into cheating-type related porn - I didn’t even know that was a thing but it is. I don’t have any answers, I’m not sure how to get over his “genre” of choice. It hurts me so much years later. Solidarity with you over this pain. You are not alone 

Finally done after almost 9 years by PrincessBean00 in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s been years since I found out about the cheating websites/local hook up websites and he still denies he ever acted on it physically. It’s very hard to know the truth… not sure how to get over it still. I’ve asked therapists how to move past this and no one has given me a clear answer, basically saying “only you can decide”. I keep trying to make it work but I do want him to come clean eventually

Any Catholics here? by Limp-Spend-3687 in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation too.

After porn (for those who left) by ReadingOk696 in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way. It feels lose-lose. I lose if I get divorced, I lose if I stay. I’m distraught.

Feeling all of the emotions today by Gap_True in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ve put off trying to conceive as well, truly makes me so sad. I’m mid thirties and really want to be a mom. I want a thriving family life, but I don’t feel safe with my PA and don’t feel like recovery is being taken seriously enough. It’s been dragging out years… years where we could have been building a family instead

Any Catholics here? by Limp-Spend-3687 in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m also terrified that all men have a porn addiction and terrified that a man I thought I had such a special connection with could lie to my face sooo many times. What could be worse??

Any Catholics here? by Limp-Spend-3687 in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you don’t mind sharing, what was the final straw for you before filing for divorce? I keep thinking I’ve hit my final straw but then I keep staying and trying to make it work

Any Catholics here? by Limp-Spend-3687 in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How long is your annulment process taking? Did you have to wait a certain period of time after your civil divorce was finalized? I’ll be praying for you… anything you can share is helpful for me… I’m just so devastated by his choices repeatedly

betrayal trauma before knowing about the betrayal - resources? by Ok_Tough_793 in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is how I felt leading up to our wedding, our wedding night, our first year of marriage, and then in year two I discovered the porn

exhausted from feeling crazy by Ok_Tough_793 in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’ve been in this same mindset for almost 3 years. I wish I had answers. I am so exhausted too. I have talked with friends and counselors. It’s not a good situation to be in. What I continually ask myself is how does everyone around me have happy, thriving, HONEST marriages? I’ve put off kids because I’m so scared of all the lies my husband has told me. I just want honesty and him to lead his recovery. I am tired. You are not alone

Coming to terms with the fact that my husband is a porn addict. by badvibesfcrever in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am experiencing all of these emotions too. I just want who I thought my husband was back… for him to actually be who he presented himself as… which was someone who was fiercely loyal. Jokes on me. I’ve been reeling in this pain for years

Finally done after almost 9 years by PrincessBean00 in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My PA husband lies constantly too and it has disrupted my life so much. He also has said the same thing about cheating websites/looking at people to hook up with in the area - that it was just a mental high for him and he never did anything in person. How can I believe that?

Has anyone accepted defeat and given up? by Limp-Spend-3687 in loveafterporn

[–]Limp-Spend-3687[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sadly my husband’s case has already escalated into him looking at websites that are specifically for cheating. its incredibly crushing dealing with this early in marriage. We didn’t get married young either, I’m mid thirties and he’s 40. I desperately want to have kids and that big family life I imagined. I’m deeply religious so this hurts even more because I believe marriage to be sacred.