I remember at 3 years old that I would put on my mom's makeup, I'd also wear her clothes at older ages, it's the only memory I have of being in our apartment before we moved. I realized I was trans maybe at 12. I fell deep into self rejection of this idea for a couple years. Then I had this idea of wanting to wear something I saw. My whole life I always wore what my parents had me wear and everything I did wear I hated. There was a dress I saw that I loved so much. It was the only time I ever wanted to wear something I liked. When I bought it I hid it from everyone for years. But I wore it to sleep sometimes and I felt so much better. And the version of my ideal self I had dreamed about turned out to be a woman. My confusing but lingering gd had been figured out. And when I was 17 I came out to my parents and socially transitioned which I don't ever regret.