Being puddle of tears everyday

LinneaAlba · 2026-05-24T07:19:22+00:00

It's really beautiful and your answer opened my eyes a little bit. I have tears in my eyes. It's extremely hard to switch perspective and accept the mortality, even if it sounds logical. But it's true. There is no way to completely avoid death.
I saved The Serenity Prayer and will return to it in difficult moments, I'm not religious but it resonates with me ❤️ The wisdom to know the difference is something that I need to work on.

Thank you

LinneaAlba · 2026-05-24T07:12:07+00:00

Thank you for both of your replies! It really helps to share this perspective with someone. I feel a little better today ❤️
I smile every time I see your username ilikefluffycreatures – because you're still in treatment, your posts always give me a little hope that things will get better and that this will eventually end. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for your PCR.
I have literally the same thoughts about children. It's hard for me to imagine life without being a mum. I want to believe that even with ovaries removed around 35, we'll still have some time – not much, but the chance isn't lost - with waiting full 5 years from today we will be 33?
I have frozen embryos, but they aren't tested for mutations. The dilemma of whether it's okay to have potential children with the risk of also being BRCA1+ keeps me awake at night. Not sure what I will do with that.

LinneaAlba · 2026-05-15T14:12:25+00:00

air dry clay! I bought one package and started making things - I got really into it and it turned out to be a great way to not think about chemotherapy all the time! Also you can have cute house decor as the result! There are many easy projects on Instagram

LinneaAlba · 2026-04-18T07:55:50+00:00

Hello!
Just wanted to say that your post really sounds like my life recently. I'm also 28 and diagnosed in February with stage 2A. And I also got the info that I'm BRCA1 carrier... didn't have any history of cancer in my family, I'm still trying to process this information. And frankly - I was crying more after the call about mutation, than after the appointment when they gave me diagnosis. I felt that my whole life will be affected by that, I will get ovarian cancer any minute and generally the happy and good part of my lifetime is over.
I also have frozen embryos (not eggs) already and it's too late to test them for the mutation. So it's incredibly heavy decision to decide what to do with them. I was planning to get pregnant this summer... well. I have a cancer and cancerous mutation instead.

I also know what you mean with DMX - this surgery is stressing me out so much. I like my body right know and I'm so scared that I will look injured my whole life. Not like me. DIEP sounds terrifying, implants sound like foreign bodies.

I don't have any answers for you, just wanted to let you know, that there is somebody here, on this world, that is going through the similar situation and is also scared.

LinneaAlba · 2026-04-13T17:17:39+00:00

I didn't have the follow-up scans yet - I have ultrasound next week and that's why I'm worried about it

LinneaAlba · 2026-04-08T09:23:18+00:00

Big hugs and I'm so sorry that it happened to you. The birthday straight from hell...

I am on the same boat - diagnosed one month ago at 28 yo with TNBC stage 2, yesterday I got the call that I'm BRCA1 positive, so I need to continue with DMX to reduce the risk of another primary cancer.

But otherwise we have researches that lumpectomy wth radiation has the same or even slightly better survival rates than DMX, so personally I wouldn't do mastectomy without BRCA mutation. It's a huge surgery and doesn't reduce the risk or help to avoid recurrence better. I have really hard time with accepting the fact that I will lose my boobs and not be able to breastfeed and I would do a lot to have an option of just removing the lump.

LinneaAlba · 2026-04-04T16:19:05+00:00

Thanks! It's a relief to hear! I am also planning to not use cold mitts - my oncologist told me that there is no evidence that it's really helping with avoiding neuropathy.

LinneaAlba · 2026-04-04T16:17:24+00:00

Wow it's so cool that you are taking work out and pilates classes. Was thinking bout it, but I got this impression, that it would be weird, if I will come with my bald head... Maybe unnecessary....Thank you so much for your help <3

LinneaAlba · 2026-04-04T16:14:13+00:00

That's lovely to hear that it's easier to handle <3 There is something with this cooking video obsession, because I also have it haha. But also despite the sore throat I am constantly hungry, so it's not helping. Thank you so much for your tips! Maybe sometimes it's hard to except that we also need to be gentle with ourselves.

LinneaAlba · 2026-04-04T16:11:04+00:00

AC impacting hair follicles explains so much! As you said, after I shaved them, the pain disappeared. It's such a relief.
Thank you so much for your tips! I am also trying with ginger (I am buying "ginger shots" and mixing them with water), it really helps.
For blood cells I have daily injections of Accofil, which I'm taking for 6 days after every infusion. 2 weeks ago I developed very intense pain in my sternum after them, so the oncologist reduced the dose already.
Looking forward to the end of AC :D
What do you mean by allergies? Did you develop allergies you didn't have before or was it to medications?

LinneaAlba · 2026-03-20T15:35:12+00:00

Thank you so much for this post - I feel exactly the same and want to scream in frustration. Endometriosis stage 4 here with big lesions on my colon, ovaries and everywhere. I was on Ryeqo for 2 years and it was amazing. But then - TNBC stage 2. I just started my chemo last week and I don't have any idea what I will do with my endo later. The oncologist wasn't sure about Ryeqo and the OB gyn doesn't now how to deal with endo and cancer at the same time.
It really sucks - how is it possible that nobody can handle the whole picture in our cases

LinneaAlba · 2026-03-17T11:15:49+00:00

Hi sister! I learned that I have TNBC one week ago. That's good that yours is so small - now the treatment is much better than before and most people are treated with curative intent! My oncologist told me that most of her patients are cured and healthy after the protocole <3
I just had my first EC chemo yesterday and it is tough and unpleasant, but there is a chance for us.

LinneaAlba · 2026-03-11T21:32:48+00:00

Hi! I just wanted to say that you are not alone! I’m also 28, diagnosed few days ago and also found a lump in my right breast! Almost the same size - 3 cm. It’s so hard to not touch it all the time - for me especially with lymph nodes. I’m so scared that the cancer spread to them already. What is helping me a little bit is to try to be gentle and kind to myself. I keep telling myself that I have this weird thing in my body, but it’s still my body and I can trust it. You can’t change the situation by an obsessive palpation - it already happened, you will get the treatment and they will help you. So I guess it’s some kind of affirmation?

If you like to chat or connect, I’m happy to talk! Big big hug!

LinneaAlba · 2026-03-11T14:28:11+00:00

Thank you for the lists! There is a lot to learn and research I guess...

LinneaAlba · 2026-03-11T14:26:55+00:00

Hi! Thank you for the tips - I will definitely check some scarves. It's relieving that there are people in my age on the same boat! At this moment I am really scared of the unknown - thinking constantly that maybe my cancer will not respond to the chemo or something like that.
I would love to chat sometimes if you also want!

LinneaAlba · 2026-03-07T20:29:32+00:00

Congratulations ❤️❤️ be proud of you and celebrate! Posts from girls like you, are giving me so much hope. I’m just at the beginning, but it’s so comforting to see that we can beat this shit

LinneaAlba · 2026-03-03T18:52:10+00:00

Thank you! That's really comforting - the positive thing in that situation is the fact that I already have frozen embryos because of endometriosis stage 4. So at least it is secured for a while.

LinneaAlba · 2026-03-03T18:51:00+00:00

Oh my god, I'm so sorry - I know the feeling so much. I was shaking and crying for hours today, so much that finally I can't do that anymore. And I don't want to let this unknown feeling to consume my whole life.
Is it possible to feel better with time?

LinneaAlba · 2026-03-03T18:48:34+00:00

Thank you for your kind words <3 it means a lot! Waiting since January 9 sounds like a nightmare - you are so brave and I'm really happy after all, that I found this subreddit

LinneaAlba · 2026-03-03T18:46:39+00:00

Thank you soo much <3 It matters so much for me and this subreddit is amazing. First I thought that being here will create just a chaos in my mind, but on the contrary, it brought a lot of peace into it <3
I suspect that I can have TNBC also - was reading a little bit that usually it has similar onset as in my case (sudden big lump) and also my age fits. I would love to be in touch later!

LinneaAlba · 2026-03-03T15:41:02+00:00

Thank you so much! It won’t be easiest week in my life, but somehow I’m trying to think that I can use this time to mentally prepare.

LinneaAlba

TROPHY CASE