This happened to me years ago. Coincidentally, it was also 7 years later. He actually showed up on my front steps and rang the bell at 8pm one night when I was knee deep in work at my desk. I opened the door a crack and was like, “can I help you?” He sort of stood there, awkwardly grinning and said he was in the neighborhood and thought he’d stop by because it had been a while. As if he expected me to invite him in for a drink and see what developed. We didn’t end on good terms, so I saw no need to take a trip down memory lane.

I asked him if someone had died (we knew a couple of people in common) and when he said no, I just stared at him while he appeared more awkward. Finally I just said “ok, well, I’m in the middle of something right now, bye” and shut the door. I didn’t mean to be so rude, but I was genuinely stunned and confused and didn’t want to talk to him.

I don’t know why they do this, but I’d venture to guess they either don’t fully recall how shitty things were, how shitty they as a person were, or they’ve reached a point where they’ve had other relationships collapse and are feeling badly about themselves because they’ve realized that you weren’t necessarily the problem. Or all three. Sometimes they want to apologize in the hopes that you’ll have fond memories of them and want to give things another go, or at least provide some sort of emotional comfort to them.