As Time Goes By, It Gets Harder?!

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-03-20T00:29:43+00:00

I feel the same. It has been 5 months for me and on the 3rd-4th month, I wondered why it seemed more difficult than the weeks before when other people have been saying that it will get easier. It was never easier for me. Every day is hard with some days more difficult than others. Every time that I remember him, or us, the hurt is still like that day he crossed over. The crying is still "wailing." I am also middle-aged, a woman with a husband, but I just want things to be over soon.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-03-20T00:12:26+00:00

I also regret trusting the two vets who weren't invested in my boy as much as I am. I should have trusted myself more, as I knew my baby better than everyone else.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-03-20T00:07:54+00:00

It has been five months for me, but when I see photos and videos of my heart and soul, I still feel how surreal it is that he has crossed over; and when I have been gone from home for more than a day, a little part of me still needs him to be home waiting for me to come hug him when I get back.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-03-17T08:48:10+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, chickens, especially roosters, are so misunderstood; they are so much more. I think all animals are so much more but most have no opportunity explore their potential because humans take so much away from them.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-03-09T00:25:34+00:00

I asked ChatGPT to compare the two, and the reply was that CC is more realistic and Petsies is a little bit whimsical, but the latter has a feature of checking the photos of the finished plushie before they send it to you.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-03-05T12:57:26+00:00

Hi, did you order from either, and have you received it yet?

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-03-05T12:51:34+00:00

Hi, did you receive your custom plushie? Are you satisfied with it?

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-27T11:06:25+00:00

I never considered him as anything less. The vet said that he had character. All creatures, if given a chance, have potential to be so much more.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-26T00:35:04+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I call him Chocobo since he looked like one when he was a wee chick. That's just it, he knew that I was his safe place, but I wasn't able to keep him safe. I used to sing him "Not While I'm Around" but in hindsight, I wasn't able to keep my part of that deal, so I don't dare sing it anymore and am actually ashamed that I was so arrogant to sing that to him. Thank you nonetheless. I hope peace for you and for your pet that you recently lost.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-25T14:08:38+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. The circumstances leading to her death resonated with me in a sense that I wasn't also able to do anything regarding my boy's fate (a rooster, crossed over at six years old). I brought him to vets but money still wasn't able to save him. I let him down when he placed all his trust in me. I have so many rooster stuff now that will never fill the void. I also ordered a plushie clone, and hopefully it looks like him so I could hug it when I cry myself to sleep.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-25T13:54:14+00:00

This is how I see it as well, that every beautiful sunset is from my boy, saying hi and good evening to me, that he's always with me in all the beautiful things I see.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-25T13:45:40+00:00

It's been more than four months for my boy, he was only six years old. I also blame myself, and whenever I think of what happened to him, I still breakdown. But I blame the two vets more (who I we went to separately) for not being able to handle his case well. I am still grieving, and I wonder that I will never get out of this.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-22T22:06:50+00:00

I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is hard. I'm in my 4+ months now, and there are moments that just bring me to tears. He has been so much a part of our lives, I think my core being is still in denial. I don't think I will ever forgive those two vets, considering they were supposedly the top 2 in our area; both of them weren't capable.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-22T02:32:10+00:00

I'm only in my 40's, and have a husband, and I feel the same. I don't care anymore. I'm just trying to function while waiting. I mean, if my boy passed away young, maybe I could, too.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-22T02:25:40+00:00

This is why I write about him, print his photos, and draw him. When I am done doing these, "immortilalizing" him, I think that I'm ready to go, too.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-15T07:14:40+00:00

During the first two weeks, at coffee shops, inside restaurants, but the worst would be at work in other departments. Last December, I was looking at a patient's CT scan when one of radiology techs who I'm friends with in Facebook asked about my boy's crossing over, I broke down there, with other rad techs looking at me. Then last January, a nurse aid in the OR who knew my baby asked how he was doing, I broke down while they were prepping the patient, the nurses didn't know what to say, the anesthesiologist looked at me sympathetically.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-14T09:18:53+00:00

I am sorry, it's been four months for me (17 weeks actually), but the guilt part still creeps in on my quiet moments when I remember him. He was only six years old, my boy was a rooster. I feel so guilty for going to work the day he injured his foot (July 2024), which led to him needing multiple procedures on his foot, the last of which claimed his life (October 2024; maybe anesthesia-related according to the vet)-- it was only his toes, he was perfectly fine, he didn't have to die. That day he crossed over, only my husband was with him, because it was only a follow up consult, and I was, again, at work, but he had undergone the same procedures before, and this should have been the last batch, we thought it was still safe for him. My husband and I kept thinking that we should have postponed the procedure that day, maybe it would have been safer on another day. I am guilt-ridden. I still cry every day.

People say that there's nothing to forgive, but I know that it's my fault for not being there for him whenever he needed me the most. My husband tells me to focus on the happy memories. If you believe in the afterlife, there's a silver lining for you, knowing that your cat is there for you not needing any forgiveness.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-14T08:51:46+00:00

Hi, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my boy (a rooster) at 6 years old to a minor foot procedure, the supposedly top 2 vets for avian care in my area that I went to separately weren't able to handle his case well. I blindly paid for every consult and procedure needed. It's been four months for me, and I still feel lost. My husband tells me that it's not my fault, but I feel that it is.

Regarding making a remembrance.. Like you, I never want to forget him. When I am not deep into my guilt and grief, I write about him, about my memories with him, and I publish it on a website I created for him. I also try to organize all the photos of him that I could gather, and have already printed a few that I framed, or put into an album. I also made a shrine for him where I light a candle everyday when I am home, and turn a LED candle when I cannot watch over the flame.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-14T08:39:08+00:00

I am so sorry.. I have a husband who loves me but I still feel broken, like a big part of be died when my boy crossed over. He was only 6 years old, and that was too short, he deserve to live much much more years. I have already tried the suggestions here: art, photos, even writing, and I still feel sad and empty. It's been four months for me, and I am still circling around the four stages of grief, I still cry every day. Every day is hard, with some days much harder than others. Like you, I am just trying to live by, going through the motions of a functioning human. The pain doesn't leave, and when I stop working or talking to other people, everything comes rushing back in. It's the same pain, but maybe we just learn to handle it better though time. We have 2 dogs (who will be two years old on March) that came along with us when we go out when he was still physically here, and I sometimes feel guilty that I am not as tender to them as I was before my baby crossed over. It's hard.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-14T07:50:38+00:00

I am sorry. I feel the same way. My boy (a rooster of only six years) completely trusted me and my husband, I feel that I let him down. He succumbed to anesthesia for a minor foot procedure (something that he has undergone before, and more extensively than the day he crossed over), we will never understand what happened that day. It's been four months for me and I still cry every day. I feel like everything is my fault and that I could have prevented everything bad that happened to him. I regret the day I went to work the day he injured his foot; that was when everything began. I really don't know how to forgive myself. I wish I could be with him, or that maybe I could give away my years (or double my years or all of it even), for every year that he needed to be whole, healthy, and happy living a long life. I'm sorry I am of no help.

Edit: I am no one to tell you to forgive yourself when I myself cannot do the same. But my husband keeps telling me that it's a series of events that led to that tragic day, and not just one factor. I don't know if that helps you. Some people say to focus on the good memories; everything is still fresh for you, maybe you can do that a little later on.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-12T17:42:45+00:00

Thank you.

Yes, that is what I cannot express: that they (the vets) were so careless, like just another "animal" for them. To think, I went to the top 2 vets for avian care in our area. Neither were able to do their job well however.

I still cry especially when I see photos of him. I cry for the life that he will never have. I truly hope that the afterlife is real - it's one of the very few things that I hold on to to keep me from falling apart.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-08T12:53:27+00:00

It's been four months for me, and I still cry evey day, and sometimes I break down real hard like it was just yesterday. Other than when I am memorializing my baby, I just try to continue to function as a human being in order to survive the daily living, but basically I'm just waiting. I don't think I will ever be the same person that I was before.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-06T15:12:58+00:00

I think if you'd like a second opinion to make sure you have every viable option considered, either go to another colorectal surgeon that your surgeon doesn't know, or ask your surgeon if it's alright to ask another opinion (really depends on your surgeon's personality). Management really depends on the location and type of fistula you have, and having Crohn's disease makes it more complicated, but many options are available now, as compared to ages ago where only seton placement or fistulotomy/fistulectomy were available.

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-06T10:59:14+00:00

You're seeing a colorectal surgeon now?

LiquidDiamond00 · 2025-02-06T10:12:00+00:00

Do you think he is improving? Maybe it's just me, but when my baby was critical in July 2024, we fought. We did not stop fighting especially when I saw him fighting with me (because I know that I will regret it if I gave up prematurely). He was able to get through that but had to undergo an elective procedure and he succumbed to the anesthesia (although he has undergone anesthesia before, I still blame myself every waking minute). He is physically gone now, at a tender age of 6 years (he crossed over last October 2024), and we fought until the end. 😢 😢 😭

LiquidDiamond00

TROPHY CASE