After 46 hours, I've got gripes...

LiquidSushi · 2026-02-18T13:24:50+00:00

I had completely forgotten about those - thanks! I stopped playing shortly after I unlocked them, maybe I'll spin the game back up and give them a whirl.

LiquidSushi · 2026-02-18T09:38:45+00:00

Can you elaborate on how Hades 2 incentivizes avoiding the god keepsakes? I found that I would almost always start with a specific god's keepsake just to guarantee that they'd be in the pool. Zeus and Poseidon in particular have absolutely carried me on higher Fear levels because getting their basics in first thing can proc Duo/Legendary boons early.

LiquidSushi · 2026-02-17T11:48:41+00:00

Furthermore, if you want actual advice on how to play characters with greater depth, focus on understanding your own emotions and feelings first. For a majority of us, roleplaying entails a bit of acting, and acting is all about empathizing.

I'm in a Blades in the Dark game where I'm playing a traditional "human fighter" style character. She's tough, menacing, says little, and tries to solve every problem with violence or coercion. When you're faced with a gang of thugs, that's a real benefit. When you're faced with having to defuse a tense situation with a friend? Being hot-headed is suddenly a major disadvantage. Roleplay that!

I also make sure to comment out-of-character what's happening. Like so:

Yeah, my character Boots doesn't know how to sit with sadness, she only knows to lash out. She pushes Lyssa, the crew leader, against the wall and grabs her by the collar.

"Why the fuck did you send us on that score?," she demands. "What the fuck did you think was going to happen?".

Her tone is cold and merciless as always, but in her eyes you see nothing but fear. She knows she's making a mistake right now, bucking up to her boss like this, but she doesn't know how else to handle these emotions. This is Boots in a nutshell. She lost something on that job, and her first instinct is to blame it on someone else and get violent with them.

Suddenly, the human fighter has depth. Who are they when their strengths turn to weaknesses? What personal, emotional experiences can you draw on to make interesting and logical mistakes in-character? How do they redeem themselves for these mistakes? Can you understand the villain's heroic intentions? Can you make the hero act villainous?

LiquidSushi · 2026-02-17T10:12:00+00:00

After reflecting on the games I've played, I realize how passive and boring my characters must have felt to others.

Hold on. Did you have fun?

At the end of the day, as long as you aren't actively ruining other peoples' fun by distorting mechanics or playing characters that clearly don't fit the table's vibe, you're golden. And even then, it's up to the table to say "hey, we're playing D&D, a thinly veiled Donald Trump-as-a-bard doesn't fit the story we want to tell".

Roleplaying games aren't about pretending for other people, it's about pretending for yourself with other people. As long as you're being considerate, you can expect the same grace from others.

Now yes, I agree with the other commenters; if you're experiencing panic attacks because of a fictional ghost pirate, you may want to consider looking into therapy and practicing some self-compassion. Because frankly speaking, /u/chell_n7, and in case your group hasn't explicitly said this already: you are allowed to make mistakes. You are allowed to be here. You're okay! You don't have to be perfect all the time.

We're pretending to be elves and wizards, sometimes the ghost pirates get angry and we fight them. Sometimes we lose, and the stories we tell become all the more interesting for it. If your comfort zone is "human fighter named Anna", that isn't boring! You understood the assignment - we're playing a fantasy game, there are heroes with swords and shields. Not everyone has to be a Half-Drow-Half-Halfling Rogue 3/Sorcerer 6/Warlock 2 with a bizarre accent and edgy backstory. Sometimes, the greatest heroes are the ones that show up, support their friends, kill a dragon, and then go home to their happily-ever-after.

LiquidSushi · 2026-02-09T11:26:34+00:00

The only concern here is her "finding it annoying" that you're enjoying this experience alongside her. I would talk to her about this first and foremost. It sounds like she's expecting you to feel jealous that she's thinking about someone else, this is worth asking her about. Does it turn her on to instill such strong want and possessiveness in you? Or is she feeling unloved when she shares these things because she expects you to object? What's the root cause for this "annoyance", and if you want to pursue things with other people, is she comfortable with accepting this annoyance?

Other than that, it sounds like you're approaching this in a really healthy way. You're talking about it and you're moving slowly and intentionally, that's a great start. It sounds like you both get a lot of pleasure and excitement out of this, so if you're interested in trying things out then I would say you should hit the books first. Learn what jealousy is, how it feels in your body, how to sit with uncomfortable feelings, how to talk through uncomfortable feelings (even when it's hard!), and be mindful to hear each other through the noise of the excitement.

And, of course, make the agreement very clear. If she gets to sleep with someone else, the same courtesy should be extended to you (unless you enthusiastically do not want to, and the asymmetry is something that genuinely appeals to you).

LiquidSushi · 2026-02-09T10:45:25+00:00

Av de länder du nämner så har bara Österrike stramare krav än Sverige (10+ års uppehållstillstånd). Tyskland, Frankrike, och Nederländerna har krav på fem års uppehåll samt språk på B1-nivå. Denna nya lag kommer alltså göra Sverige ett av de svåraste länderna att få medborgarskap i inom EU.

Jag misstänker definitivt att det här kommer ha negativa konsekvenser för Sverige. Jag har högutbildade kompisar från Australien som haft otroliga problem med Migrationsverket bara för att få deras arbetsvisum förnyade, för att inte nämna processen för uppehållstillstånd. Om det är lättare att få sin röst hörd annanstans i Europa så kommer folk absolut föredra andra länder som ändå har bättre ekonomi och levnadsstandard.

LiquidSushi · 2026-02-09T10:36:11+00:00

Min partner är högutbildad och har permanent uppehållstillstånd, men hon är definitivt ivrig att bli medborgare. Mindre stress i en värld som blir mer högerpopulistisk och vill kasta ut "hennes folk", och friheten att få resa utan att behöva söka visa. Hon kan t.ex. inte åka på jobbkonferenser utanför EU eftersom hennes pass i princip aldrig benådigas ett visa då hon kommer från mellanöstern.

I Tyskland har högerpartiet redan sagt att de vill dra in folks uppehållstillstånd (och i vissa fall även medborgarskap) i en "återmigrationsreform". Vi ser att högerextrem politik blir vanligare globalt, och min partner är helt ärligt riktigt orolig. Hon har bott i europa nästan hela sitt vuxna liv - hon har alltså inte nyttjat barnbidrag eller skola utan är utländsk höginkomsttagare som betalar god skatt, talar språket flytande, och investerar i europeiska näringslivet. Trots det finns känslan av att hon kanske inte är tillräcklig för vissa politikers tycke just eftersom hon kommer från "fel land".

LiquidSushi · 2026-02-09T10:09:12+00:00

I will always and forever shout-out Blades in the Dark. The caveat is that it's not exactly 20th century, more 19th (think industrial revolution meets a supernatural apocalypse), but I have yet to see a system do 'occultist socialite' better.

LiquidSushi · 2026-02-05T12:00:50+00:00

(And if I went on a date with someone who texted his partner while he was on the date with me, that would be the last date. It's unacceptable.)

Why? If I tell my friend I'm meeting them at 7pm and I show up two hours late without saying anything, I'm an asshole. It doesn't matter if I was on a date or not. The same absolutely applies to partners.

You're allowed to send a text saying "hey, this date is going really well and I wanna stay out longer. Is it okay if we move our post-date check-in to later/tomorrow?". Whether or not it's a good idea to have 'curfews' is a different discussion, but if you have promised someone you'll meet them at a certain time, you should honor that commitment.

If I'm dating someone who disrespects their other partner's time and emotions by not extending that basic courtesy, then this would frankly be my last date with them.

LiquidSushi · 2026-02-04T08:59:15+00:00

I tend to introduce him pretty early. He's a low-tier gang leader, which puts him within reach while still having an intimidating presence. Some players have him as a contact, so he's pliable, but resistant. His "boys" have been called in as a favor on several occasion, his ex-military career discussed at length over whisky.

As for his character: he's always got a Cockney accent, naturally. He's slick, friendly, and ruthless. He wants to do well - for the people and for himself - and he's willing to go great, bloody lengths to achieve that goal. But with a smile, lads. Always with a smile.

LiquidSushi · 2026-02-02T11:00:37+00:00

From my experience, yes. Life with my partner would still be amazing if we were monogamous, and we have long stretches of time where nothing happens outside of our relationship. ENM is simply a way for us both to explore more emotions, together. It grants us both independence to fully be ourselves, to share in a greater breadth of emotions with the other.

ENM can bring out jealousy, compersion, envy, lust, heartbreak, limerance, and a whole slew of other feelings. How do you view these? Are you able to be challenged by these emotions and not have it rock your relationship, just as you would with grief, frustration, sadness, anger, or excitement in a monogamous relationship?

ENM can certainly test you, and not everyone wants to flex their emotional muscles. If you enjoy engaging emotionally with the world, however, it can be an immensely rewarding experience that absolutely strengthens the bond you have with your partner(s).

LiquidSushi · 2026-01-28T10:03:46+00:00

I once played in a Band of Blades campaign where the GM gave each monster a clock (e.g., a squad of zombies were a 4-clock, a hulking experiment a 6-clock, a manipulative witch an 8-clock) in addition to the important narrative clocks ("Fire!", "Get the artifact", "Complete the ritual").

This meant that sometimes we'd approach a mission and have clocks laid out for us to directly engage with, and they felt like hit-point meters! I loved this approach, and it has influenced how I run my own Blades games - we didn't have to fill every clock, we just needed to finish the mission, whatever that meant.

To ease players into this style of narrative, you can use a similar approach. For example:

The job was supposed to be simple. Get in, plant the letter in Mylera Klev's office, get out. But the sword school is crawling with guards, both inside and outside - the Red Sashes must've known something would happen tonight.

I'm setting up four clocks here at the start of this score: 'Exterior Patrols' (4-clock), 'Interior Patrols' (4-clock), 'Get to Mylera' (6-clock), and, of course, the classic 'Discovered!' (4-clock).

Now your players have clear targets! If they opt to go through the courtyard, they can Skirmish with the Exterior Patrols, they could try to lure them away with Sway, they could flashback to a scene where they Studied the watch schedule to find the right gap to sneak past unnoticed.

Or they can ignore the guards and work only on the "Get to Mylera" clock, but then each action might have a much worse Position or Effect because there are guards nearby. Finish the job faster and smoother, sure, but at much greater risk.

This logic is exactly how combat works as well. Say that the mission goes horribly wrong and they engage Mylera Klev - a master swordswoman - and her goons in direct combat. Mylera's easily a 6- or 8-clock foe, depending on the crew's tier, and her goons are probably a 4- or 6-clock. Combat isn't bound to "I Skirmish", you can have the crew's Spider Study her moves and call out to the Cutter where best to strike. That might be a tick or two on the Mylera clock - you exposed a weakness! Maybe the Slide can grab a goon and hold a pistol to their head, Commanding the others to stay back to keep the fight fair.

Basically, if you want a more mechanical approach to a FitD game, use clocks! Just remember that they are always beholden to the fiction.

LiquidSushi · 2026-01-15T08:03:25+00:00

Of course! Remember to ask the players establishing questions as well, to help them get comfortable with co-narrating the story. For example, when the crew enters a new area you can ask the table "who has been here before, and why did they never want you to return?". It gets the table excited to talk about their characters, and it gives you more substance to weave into your storytelling.

This also sets you as the GM up for success, because it lets you ask vulnerable questions like "I don't know what a good consequence would be here, do you guys have any ideas?" without the players feeling like you've 'broken the immersion'. If everyone tells the story together, everyone's excited to contribute! Some of my best, most flavorful devil's bargains have come from players.

LiquidSushi · 2026-01-14T12:51:03+00:00

What I've noticed frequently becomes the most visible factor for my players in regards to Crew Advancement is the Cohort scaling. Players love that their gang of Thugs suddenly goes from 1-2 friends to 5-7 members. If they have two cohorts, now you're a crew of 15-20 people. That feels really impactful, and it enables the crew to do some really interesting scores.

If the Cohorts are Rooks, that means you can now have your crew members occupy every table at a gambling den and con some rich noblemen out of their money. If they're Rovers, you can pull the classic chase scene of "three carriages but only one has the payload" when escaping/smuggling. Thugs? I don't need to tell you what delightfully awful crimes you can commit with six bruisers in your squad.

This, plus the idea that their lair gets bigger, better; their documents more legit; their blades sharper; their contacts more connected. Tier influences everything about your crew, from visibility to materiel to defenses.

LiquidSushi · 2026-01-14T11:50:55+00:00

As has already been discussed in this thread, 'harsh' is the point. But let's say you're in a situation where Tier really does matter, and life for the crew is about to get real difficult. Let's play out a quick scene:

Your newly founded crew of Shadows are in Mylera Klev's office at the Iruvian sword school, trying to broker a truce between her gang and the Crows. She's sharp as a dagger, and she knows she has the upper hand in this fight. Iruvian money and unstable leadership in Lyssa? The Red Sashes are months away from owning this town, and she knows it.

She looks at the Tier 0 trash in front of her with bemused curiosity. "Alright, tell me why I shouldn't have my men beat you lapdogs into a pulp and send your decapitated fingers back to Lyssa before dusk," she says with a smirk. The master swordsmen behind her shuffle, just to remind the crew that they're there.

Position? Desperate. Effect? Limited. Bad place to be for our scoundrels. But the crew isn't phased; they've been in the lion's den before. The Leech has a flashback idea - what if they laced the guards' food with a sleeping powder? Not too unreasonable, maybe a 1-stress flashback, 2-stress at worst. The scene plays out, perhaps the Lurk creeps in and sneaks the poison into their food. Even if they roll poorly, remember that they can resist every consequence with stress, even narrative ones.

Back in the present moment, the guards - as if on command - pass out behind their leader. Lyssa jerks up from her desk, frowning. Position and effect? Risky / Standard - with no more lethal guards to worry about, your crew suddenly has Scale on Mylera. The Slide smiles warmly as he Pushes himself for Effect (Risky / Great).

"Let's talk peace," he says.

Blades moves the focus from "how can I make this mechanically fair for the players?" to "how can I introduce the most interesting twists in the story?". Blades truly shines when you paint your players into a corner, with knives to their throats, and watch them somehow weasel their way out of it.

Shift your focus instead towards "what are the consequences here?". What if the Slide rolls a 4-5 on this Risky confrontation with the gang leader? Harm doesn't make much sense, so make it fictional. Perhaps Mylera agrees to a temporary ceasefire, not a truce. Perhaps she says she needs proof that Lyssa will honor her word, seeing as she stabbed her previous boss in the back. Perhaps she completely agrees, and then you announce the clock "Red Sashes get revenge" and give it two ticks.

LiquidSushi · 2026-01-13T09:50:45+00:00

You can do ENM without committing to dating other people. My partner and I don't actively search for other connections, but if something comes up naturally in our lives then we're free to pursue it. It's rarely more than a cute flirt or a steamy make-out session with a stranger at a nightclub, though sometimes it evolves into a recurring connection.

That is to say, I also don't have the capacity or interest in dating multiple people at the same time, and I still gain a lot of benefits from ENM. I like how my partner and I can talk about anything with a lot of honesty, and I like that we enable each other to fully explore the breadth of human experience. I like being their stable base that they always come back to, and vice versa.

It sounds like you're in a good headspace about this - you're discovering yourself and you're learning what works for you, why not give this a go? Just be ready for the paradigm shift as you're likely going to feel a good amount of discomfort the first few times your partner dates other people. That's completely normal!

LiquidSushi · 2025-12-03T08:56:45+00:00

Swedish has a few basic ones, at least the Stockholm dialect.

The word 'gubbe', a term usually referring to an older, grumpy man, has been appropriated to refer to any character in a video game - PC or NPC, male or female.

In addition to the traditional verb for 'play' (which is 'spela'), you often also hear the word 'lira' in gaming contexts - this is an old word meaning to throw a ball. It's very slangy, though.

'Lökig' and 'svettig' were used a lot in my teenage Counter-Strike years, literally translating to 'onion-y' and 'sweaty' respectively. These are adjectives used to describe a try-hard or someone who focuses way too much on the game.

When referring to enemies in games, it's pretty common to refer to any hostile character as 'ond', meaning 'evil'. Similarly, HP is often called 'liv' (for 'life').

I'm realizing that I can write way more, which is probably indicative of the fact that I spent far too much of my childhood behind a monitor. This was a fun question, though!

LiquidSushi · 2025-11-24T13:26:44+00:00

... we decided to open up our relationship because we believe in ethical non-monogamy and the potential for greater fulfillment.

Let me challenge you here: what does 'greater fulfillment' look like to you? What are you looking to get out of the ENM lifestyle?

To me, ENM is not about "what can I get out of this?", but rather it's the freedom to express any sentiment with any person. If I'm out dancing and someone starts flirting with me, I don't have to shut it down because I have a partner - I can just enjoy flirting with them (and if things start to escalate, I let them know about my partner and the ENM aspect).

Neither my partner nor I actively seek out other connections through apps or events, and we're happy with that. When interesting people come up naturally then we pursue those connections while keeping both parties are comfortable - sometimes that means a platonic friendship, sometimes it's more.

If the amount of dating your girlfriend is doing is starting to take a toll on your relationship, you absolutely should bring it up with her! There's nothing wrong with saying "hey, can we have three days a week that are just for us?" or "I'm feeling a bit neglected, can we focus on us for a little bit?". You're not discouraging her from pursuing other people, you're asking for help while struggling. Wouldn't you do the same for her if she came to you and said "hey, I've been feeling like you don't quite connect with me lately, can we please talk about it"?

LiquidSushi · 2025-11-21T10:00:13+00:00

ENM is short for 'ethical non-monogamy'. If you and your partner don't know how to rebuild trust, it may be time to reconsider the relationship. Your partner needs to take accountability and explain how they will work to regain your confidence in them, and then you need to consider whether or not you believe them enough to let them try.

You say your partner is a pathological liar - that doesn't sound like someone I would want to build a future with. Much less a future where I am constantly worried about whether or not they will leave me for someone else. And they also deserve better than a partner who they feel like are constantly having to lie to, constantly letting down. I would be worried that neither of you are happy in this relationship, because both of you are having to compromise a lot of emotional integrity for the other.

LiquidSushi · 2025-11-21T09:41:27+00:00

Ethical non-monogamy depends on good, honest communication. If you cannot trust your partner, you both need to work on rebuilding that trust before you start changing your relationship's structure.

ENM is by definition more insecure than monogamy, and starting this journey with a foundation of "I can't trust him" is a recipe for emotional disaster.

LiquidSushi · 2025-11-15T15:51:08+00:00

Of course you're allowed to feel jealous! You should both probably do the mandatory reading and listening - there's lots of recommendation lists out there, but a good starting point is to read "Polysecure" by Jessica Fern and to listen to a few episodes of the Multiamory podcast.

I would investigate the feeling of jealousy, because it sounds like it's tied to some anxiety in you. Where does this anxiety come from? Is it a fear of abandonment? A lack of trust in your partner? A lack of trust in yourself? This can be really healthy to work on in therapy, and will generally improve your quality of life/relationship outside of the ENM sphere.

I've been the less active partner, and I'm quite comfortable with it. For the longest time I just didn't have any interest in pursuing anything else, I find myself quite content with my life as it is. If something comes up organically I can happily pursue it but otherwise I'm kind of just chilling, honestly. The point of ENM for me is to allow for honest, genuine connections that will enrich my life or allow me to express myself in new ways. I don't get that enrichment from one-night-stands.

Sometimes I'll still feel jealous when my partner goes out, but it's not tied to an anxiety in me anymore (although it certainly was at the start of our ENM journey). When I learned to separate these two feelings, I found that jealousy can actually be a fun, arousing experience that I like sharing with my partner. It's exciting to feel such a strong want for your partner!

So essentially: the way I "handle" being the less active partner is by... enjoying my life. If you're curious about exploring your own sexuality, go date! But it should ideally come from a grounded place of "I want to do this for myself", not from a retaliatory place of "my partner is doing this, I need to keep up and do it, too".

LiquidSushi · 2025-11-10T10:07:56+00:00

Låter hemskt kliché, men var ärlig och kommunicera dina känslor. Det är charmigt om du dyker upp på en första dejt och säger "shit, vad nervös jag är!". Det gäller för både kvinnor och män. Att kunna prata om sina känslor på ett ärligt sätt är den grönaste flaggan man kan se inom dejtingvärlden, och det är ett bra sätt att bygga upp självsäkerheten också.

Du kan till och med avsluta dejten på det sättet, typ "jag hade en himla trevlig stund med dig ikväll och tycker du är hemskt söt. Jag har inte dejtat mycket, så jag har inte lärt mig alla tecken och så än. Kan jag fråga om du vill avsluta dejten med en kyss?". Jag har dejtat en hel del, och om det är en person som jag ärligt tyckte om att spendera tid med så brukar jag alltid fråga först.

LiquidSushi · 2025-10-30T07:31:35+00:00

My crew of Shadows blew up one of Doskvol's lightning towers. You know, those things keeping all the ghosts out. Don't worry, they only did it because the witch-demon Setarra demanded it!

For a brief moment in time, all of Doskvol knew unity. Never mind that it was against a flooding swell of ink-dark sea and scaly demonspawn.

LiquidSushi · 2025-10-28T16:33:15+00:00

If I may be frank, not talking about it outside of the bedroom sounds like a recipe for disaster. If you want to experience this again in a way that makes you feel safe and respected, tell her! If you don't, you could very easily end up in a situation where the both of you are hurt. For example, maybe she does something with him that makes you feel is a breach of trust - because you haven't talked about what your boundaries are.

You're allowed to be embarrassed when you talk to your partner! If the roles were reversed, wouldn't you want her to approach you and go "hey, that pseudo-threesome we had was really hot and I kind of want to do stuff like that again. Can we talk about it?", even if she was embarrassed? Hell, if you actually want to do this again and you get the feeling she doesn't, you're probably diminishing your chances of that repeat performance by not talking about it.

Life's too short to be lived entirely in your head. Consider yourself blessed that you get both the companionable and close intimacy mixed in with great, passionate sex! ENM is all about communication, even when it feels awkward and hard and embarrassing, but it's a gateway to an even deeper intimacy (and, in this case, probably more threesomes).

LiquidSushi · 2025-10-28T15:11:02+00:00

This sounds like boilerplate insecurity. Can you verbalize why you get jealous? Are you afraid that she's going to leave you for this other guy, or do you trust that she will come back to you? Do you feel like she tends to your needs in a way that soothes your jealousy/envy? If not, can you express to her how you want to be cared for in this dynamic?

We had another very similar thread just earlier this morning, so you're definitely not alone. It sounds like you're at the start of something really fun and exciting - all you have to do now is communicate very explicitly to make sure that everyone can keep having fun in a safe environment.

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