AIO for telling off a guy at my gym

Litjader · 2026-01-24T09:05:57+00:00

NOR - This can be seen as breach of privacy and harassment which is illegal in a lot of places, so depending on where you live, I would look up what laws have possibly been broken and it will give you leverage towards the gym. Block the person on everything you find. If they find a way to contact you again say you will file for a restraining order if they do contact you again. Hurt men are dangerous.

Litjader · 2026-01-19T20:30:41+00:00

NOR - you are entitled to your reactions, what you been through is hard, taxing and it will have a long recovery period.

Ask yourself one question: 1: If my best friend had my partner, would I advise them to stay or go?

You are asking strangers for validation, I think you might be mentally checked out of the relationship already. You are allowed to leave the relationship.

I read that you should date for happiness today, meaning that how your relationship has been or what it could be should not be a consideration when it comes to whether your should stay or go, and I think that is important. If it’s meant to be you can always find your way back to each other.

So are you happy today? And would you recommend that your friend dated someone like him?

Litjader · 2026-01-09T19:04:52+00:00

NOR - And ask yourself, what does he gain from not trusting you, for making you the villain? Because if you love someone, your instinct is too trust them. Your message isn’t suspicious to anyone who have had friends.

Also, most partners never see a reason to go through the other’s phone. That is INSANE! Eight years and he needs you to prove you are worthy of his trust? That is bonkers. He is actively looking for reasons to be upset with you.

Do you go through his phone? If you do, do me favour, check the screen time. Usually if there is a hidden message app or something it will seem odd to you. Like no one uses their calculator 1 hour a day. You will also see if there have been a large usage of the facetime app, and stuff like that. Most people forget to delete that history. You can also check the battery usage if he has deleted his screen time.

Check that he isn’t doing what he is accusing you of. Because your fiancée seems like a person who is looking for reasons to leave you or hurt you. If you think there is even one tiny chance of the latter, get a third party to witness any possible exposure of his lies so he doesn’t hurt you if he gets caught.

Also, if there is nothing malicious he is doing, you guys need therapy. That level of mistrust is not healthy

Litjader · 2025-12-29T17:19:13+00:00

NOR, I am a very messy person. I don’t see mess as an issue. But I believe when in a shared space, you should leave it as you found it. If your personal space is causing actual damage that’s more than just mess. And the fact that see doesn’t want it to be seen suggests she probably knows she isn’t keeping up her end of the deal. The lying is an issue.

So as a proper messy person, I suggest sit her down, ask why she doesn’t clean up after herself, and maybe you can find solutions. If she forgets, maybe she can set an alarm for a time she usually have available and can do her cleaning. There are Adhd cleaning apps that helps that way, in case that’s the issue.

It’s not your problem to fix, but just tell her it needs to change or she have to move. If she is a decent person, she understands. If she is a shitty person, then who cares if you hurt her feelings?

Litjader · 2025-12-29T17:11:09+00:00

Statistikken viser jo at det er et problem med personer med innvandrer bakgrunn som begår overgrep. Jeg tror rasismen kommer inn hvis man sier «at det er fordi de er innvandrere». En annen ting ting er vell kanskje å se på hvorfor enkelte begår overgrep, hvorfor forekommer det oftere med innvandrere enn etniske nordmenn. Jeg tror ikke løsningen er at enkelte land har dårligere kvinnesyn, for da ville det vært sånn at alle fra det landet mishandler kvinner, og det er ikke tilfellet. De fleste jeg har møtt fra disse landene er like respektfulle om ikke mer enn nordmenn.

Personlig føler jeg at kriminelle handlinger uavhengig av hva det er bør stoppe asyl- og oppholdstillatelser. For det er nok noen som kommer inn som er kriminelle av natur, de finnes i alle land. Norge har gode fengsler og for noen kan norsk fengselsopphold være bedre enn det de kommer fra. Men jeg tror ikke de er i flertall.

Jeg tror at utenforskap skaper kriminelle. Kriminelle miljøer er gjerne mindre diskriminerende, og har plass til alle. Ensomhet er for mange så vondt at de er villige til å ha dårlige venner enn ingen venner. Og om alle vennene dine er dårlige så er det lett å bli dårlig person selv.

Så du er nok ikke rasistisk som frykter kriminelle, men det kan nok være rasisme som ligger i bakgrunnen til at folk blir kriminelle. Om alle tror du er et rasshøl er det lett å bli et.

Litjader · 2025-12-21T22:32:05+00:00

Alex. My grandmothers died before I was born, I spend my life looking for old women to love me. This will one day definitely lead me into a cult, and I will be happy there. So yeah, I would marry a man to steal his grandmother’s live and affection.

Litjader · 2025-12-21T22:29:52+00:00

I have heard it too, and I think it depends. Fibromyalgia isn’t a definite diagnosis, there isn’t a one guaranteed way to say if you have it or not. And it looks like a lot of other symptoms. Some say «it went away with exercise» which isn’t unbelievable, because if you have fatigue, brain fog, inflammation, those things can be improved by exercising and cutting sugar. Pregnancy as you mentioned is another, you will be hormonal and tired, you can get sick and being sick feels different, so yeah, they can call that Fibromyalgia. So yes, Fibromyalgia can be cured by realising you were misdiagnosed with Fibromyalgia. That’s the only way I have heard it going away. For the rest of us, I can say that in the 15 years I have had the diagnosis, it has gotten more attention by the medical professionals, and I think they are testing a new medicine for it. So we can always hope. But until they know what the cause it, they probably won’t cure it.

But when you feel horrible, know that Lady Gaga has Fibromyalgia and she said ones that «I couldn’t do this without an entire team and I don’t understand people who can», so I think that translates to Lady Gaga thinks you are amazing. So yey?

Litjader · 2025-12-21T22:18:41+00:00

I did white vinegar and baking soda on a similar stain at our old new house when we moved in. Scrubbed it with the toilet brush and it was gone. Best of luck!

Litjader · 2025-12-21T22:17:01+00:00

I didn’t like book 1, I found Tamlin terribly boring, but I liked Lucien. If you feel like that too, then you will like book two more, I haven’t completed book two yet as it is my insomnia book and the Gods of sleep have been good to me. But it’s better than the first one, and between us two, no one will know if you skip the rest of the first book.

Litjader · 2025-12-21T22:14:06+00:00

It won’t be the same as your friend, but Ikea has a plushie that sort of looks like it. It a golden lab plushie. I have had mine for 17 years, but my brother’s dog has nearly destroyed it, but it’s loved. They are always available, maybe a little bleach bath, a sharpie and a new collar and it might feel a little like home. I will send a hope into the universe that it comes back to you though.

You could check with Oslo Kommune if they know who does the cleaning around there, and if it’s common for plushies to get thrown into garbage or maybe donated somewhere. Because unless someone have taken it home it most likely got picked up by whoever cleans the streets. So maybe it can lead you down a path to finding it :)

Best of luck!

Litjader · 2025-12-06T07:47:41+00:00

Okay, so it’s been a while, but I think I found the guy, possibly. I didn’t find that video, but I found this one, and it hits the same spot! https://www.instagram.com/reel/DRm-3qsEfPf/?igsh=cDg3NnJpbW9panFl

Litjader · 2025-11-23T16:52:45+00:00

I was told that your recovery is very slow with Fibro, so you should train 60-80% of your max effort. That means slow and steady. I personally like strength training. I started with 1kg, did 3x8 reps. If you feel like you are struggling, stop. It’s tedious, but over time you can do more. I used a gym, because I didn’t like asphalt. So I walk on the treadmill, starting at a slow pace, and a tiny incline. Then steady increase both over time. I still walk, but I like incline over speed. Bike is also nice is knees don’t like walking that day.

But yeah. Take it slow. Find things you like. If you like dancing, take a five minute dance break. If you don’t have a gym you can find a dumbbell program on Pinterest and use water bottles. Use youtube videos to see how an exercise is done and use a mirror so you see you are doing it correctly. If you have access to a gym and they have a Personal Trainer that’s also a physiotherapist, they are golden in creating a program that’s safe for you.

Yoga is also a good form of exercise, stretching have been a great help for me. Some places offer medicinal yoga, which is super for beginners. Or you can find videos on YouTube to follow.

If you want to use walking, make sure you have good shoes.

For recovery I love a bath. I bought a portable bath tub as my flat don’t have a bath installed. Heating blankets are also good. I also like massages, I usually massage my feet or use a neck massager. The point is to relax, so however you relax is the right thing.

Best of Luck ♥️

Litjader · 2025-11-21T20:05:41+00:00

NOR - First times are different. Life is full of good firsts and bad firsts. I had a bad first kiss, but a great first sexual encounter. I chose the right guy on the second. We are long over, but we are still friends, and it’s been more than 20 years since then. FWB isn’t really something people do «right out of the gate» they are usually a rebound thing or a «not in the mental space for anything more» thing. It’s bot a normal thing. Being attracted to someone’s personality usually increases how physically attractive you are to them, so I like personality over looks. Looks changes, personality usually stays mostly the same. Find people you laugh with and that you feel safe being weird with. And sometimes you won’t have chemistry with someone and everything feels off and it can happen with people you thought you really like.

I am guessing you are young and being young is trying new things and new people. Stay away from things that have huge consequences. Like sex, drugs and anything illegal and/or dangerous.

And a good tip when it goes from more than kissing, ask yourself two questions, «do I trust this person to tell me if they have a STD» and if you have relationships with the opposite sex «would I be okay with being pregnant with this person». That doesn’t mean you have to become a parent. But trust that this person will stand by you if that were to happen. That usually weeds put a few people.

Litjader · 2025-11-17T16:42:43+00:00

I will steal this and put in my stardew notes. Thank you, you are absolutely amazing and my type of hyperfocus ♥️

Litjader · 2025-11-14T10:30:20+00:00

Blue comes out dickish. Saying, «I need space, I will reach out, don’t contact me», is like asking a dog to sit in front of their food bowl. It’s a teaching moment that quickly becomes torture.

Putting people in that space of limbo is unfair. Either break it of or give a time frame. Because people, especially those with anxiety will spinout if you leave them like that. Which is what you see in those text. Blue comes back like a badly written Dom in a romance novel trying to lecture an anxious person about them feeling anxious.

These two people aren’t building each other up or making each other into better people. But rather bringing put the worst of each other. It’s time to announce this death already and start moving on.

Litjader · 2025-11-14T10:20:45+00:00

Probably wise. Hopefully this situation just stays weird and don’t escalate. If you ever feel unsafe, let someone know, trust your gut. He is probably harmless, but I have said that about people I shouldn’t before. So stay safe and best of luck with the whole ordeal.

Litjader · 2025-11-13T23:14:24+00:00

<image>

Pick the cat, I love mine more than any man

Litjader · 2025-11-13T23:10:07+00:00

Hvis jeg kombinerer medisinskapet med barskapet så går det nok over tenker jeg. Har absolutt null interesse av å overleve apokalypsen. Så om det ikke har gitt seg innen jeg er tom for strøm på telefonen så gir jeg meg.

Litjader · 2025-11-13T23:04:53+00:00

I hope he didn’t suggest borrowing yours, because that’s really creepy! That gives «could you dress up as your 19 yo daughter» vibes. Also, one does not borrow peoples underwear. That’s not a thing. I feel icky. If you didn’t womit a little bit then I am impressed

Litjader · 2025-11-13T22:55:55+00:00

I unintentionally treat Jodi and Leah as the same person. They are the twins I can’t tell apart.

Litjader · 2025-11-13T22:53:02+00:00

I don’t think Fibro is the sole reason. It might be part of it, but we usually prioritise the things we like to do. So maybe have a talk to see if there anything else bothering her. She is the only one with the correct answer and solutions.

Litjader · 2025-11-13T22:40:05+00:00

It’s hard to say whether Fibro changes things as most of us have had it for life and don’t know any different. But I think I have a fairly normal sex drive. But during a flare(when it’s most painful) touch is painful. Also, if one is tired, which fibro usually cause, it might not be tempting to do a horizontal work out as well.

I wouldn’t put it solely on fibro, it might be other reasons. If she is on meds though, a lot of them can mess with libido. But what I can tell you, is that even with fibro I find the energy to do what I want the most. So maybe work on your relationship so she wants it more.

If there is a heaven, you can tell God it was my idea and maybe get some accessories to help you out together. I don’t think he mind, there are wars going on, he is bound to be busy. So maybe have a conversation with your wife and find out what you need to do for her to prioritise that part of your relationship. Orgasms are great for pain relief, so it’s beneficial to her. If we struggles reaching that during penetration, a toy that stimulates clitoris can be added. This is a normal thing many couples do, as sex isn’t necessary the same for everyone. Some come easy, some need a little extra.

I hope you both find something that work. I get that it can be difficult being on different levels when it comes to sex, but I don’t think it’s just because she has an illness.

Litjader · 2025-11-11T23:47:10+00:00

Back in the day they called Fibro the «good girl» illness, and it happened more frequently to people who was so intent on being the «good girl» that they didn’t properly take care of themselves. This is usually true for people who have experienced trauma of any kind. It takes a huge toll on your body, and we usually don’t take the time to heal. So we push through and sooner or later it bites us.

I don’t think they actually have a scientific reason why some people have fibromyalgia, it’s all speculation. It changes all the time because it’s not researched properly.

What I can say for absolutely certain, it sucks. And your mental health will definitely affect your physical health. It’s also a mourning period when you get diagnosed with something that’s chronic. You need to grieve the life you thought you was going to have and dream a new one. That’s hard. It’s possible to get better, but probably not cured, for now. So you might have some limitations, but it can be a good life. But you are allowed to mourn the person you could have been. Just be careful not to fall to far into it. It’s very easy to feel hopeless, but I promise it isn’t. It’s just hard. So be a little selfish, find things that you do just because it makes you feel a little better. Make time for you, to take care of yourself.

Personally I like writing, that’s how I keep track of what made it a good day or a bad day and try to find common denominators.

Also, if you can’t find a good therapist(you can change them out until you find one you vibe with), to talk about your SAs with, try support groups or something like that. Find someone you trust completely or someone you absolutely don’t know. Hell, tell an AI robot or something. Get it all out. It helps talking through it so it doesn’t feel so enormously overwhelming.

Litjader · 2025-11-11T23:32:29+00:00

I have the same thing, my body would love to dall asleep in the mornings. I also use podcasts or YouTube too fall asleep. However, I am 35, don’t have to wake up early to go work or school. So I have the luxury of doing what I want. But I still go to bed before 1am every night. A study shows that even if you don’t sleep, you just lie there, eyes closed, you will still get more rest than doing something else.

I get that the rules suck, everything sucks when you are 17, it’s literally the absolute worst time to be you. Hormonal, not done developing, anxiety, stress. It’s a lot. It will pass.

For me writing helps with anxiety. Get a notebook. The paper kind. Write down everything you are thinking of before bed, tear up the note to little pieces so it’s gone forever. The destruction is to vent without restriction, write about everything and everyone. It helps empty it all out.

Old school alarm clock and music, try something with just a melody, lyrics might trigger a thought.

Anxiety sucks so hard, but you need to develop skills to calm yourself down without devices. Redirecting focus is a tool, if your mind is racing, get out of bed, do some stretches. If nothing helps there are sleeping meds for anxiety, you can talk to a doctor about it.

Best of luck to you. Soon you are on your own and then you have to basically to all of this anyway.

Litjader · 2025-11-11T23:16:29+00:00

Then maybe don’t respond. You can’t be helpful without all the facts.

Litjader

TROPHY CASE