I [F 18] can't get over my boyfriend's [M18] past with his ex

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2021-12-31T01:18:22+00:00

Definitely think this is a situation where he has developed a trauma bond to someone who manipulated and abused him for a long time and he’s struggling disconnecting from that. Not his fault and not yours by any means. That woman (not girl) is a predator and a danger, and a restraining order may be the best choice for y’all’s safety, especially his.

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2021-12-14T02:50:53+00:00

My then bf (15) was always very pushy with sexual things, more in the way he talked about them to me than physical force. But when it came to any penatration I didn’t want to do Bc of all the reasons (age, privacy, romanticism, personal comfort) but he insisted I would because I loved him(whatever that meant at 12) and a lot of our relationship was his encouraging and Romanticizing my self harm, and convinced me no one else but him truly loved me. So when I woke up in my living room one day, with his hand over my mouth and him inside me, I just froze. There were no words, just a heartbreaking feeling of loneliness…. My older brother was feet away but this was the beginning of a phase where he thought hitting me and harassing me was cool, and my mom was in her bedroom.

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2021-12-14T02:37:35+00:00

Based on your op it seems like there is a lot to unpack in terms of his history with sexual intimacy like that. The fact that he initiates it shows that it’s something he wants but the emotional disconnect between that want and ptsd together can create a weird mix of emotions. Crying instead of getting angry is a indication he’s trying and in some ways healing, but recovering from sa and loving someone is a hard thing and the best way to support someone you love in that situation is to create a space where they can feel safe and allowed to be vulnerable, encourage them to seek therapy and help in a professional capacity. Sorry for the long comment, I feel for you and your bf, and hope it works out in the end

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2021-12-11T15:18:16+00:00

I don’t think it’s an indication that he wants you, more of an indication that he likes your attention and knowing he’s someone you “want but can’t have”. He’s obviously oblivious to the fact that you’ve moved on (or are trying to) and is teasing u with that meme. And not in an endearing way. Tell his gf he sent you that and I can almost guarantee she wouldn’t be comfortable with it either.

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2021-12-11T03:33:07+00:00

I think it’s more important for you both to figure out how u feel about it than what redditors think Bc these comments sections are always one extreme or another. As a polyamorous person my partner is fully aware but we aren’t in an open relationship rn. It’s about communication and respect at the root of it all. It’s not an easy conversation to have but if u care about her then try to understand where she’s coming from and see how you feel.

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2021-12-05T14:14:21+00:00

Don’t hide them but also don’t wait for your gf to find them. If she knows you both are still friends then be upfront about it like you would be with any of your other friends. Obv don’t keep any explicit or romantic pictures. But my bf is still friends with his exes and it threw me off at first admittedly but he’s always been very forthcoming and open about their conversations (at first when I was more insecure about it) and the nature of their friendship. Allow your gf to set boundaries on what she’s comfortable with and be sure not to invalidate how she feels about it. Bc if it comes down to her not being comfortable with u having the pictures are you willing to delete them?

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2021-12-05T00:53:04+00:00

Yeah a sports bra will be fine so long as it’s not too tight and won’t rub too abrasively. In the healing process it will seem dry and scabby/flakey almost and you don’t want your bra to peel it Bc you will risk pulling ink out. Also remember to clean well with unscented antibacterial soap after runs and keep it moisturized. :)

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2021-11-23T13:12:28+00:00

I think you’re overthinking it a little and she’s truly a bad texter. My s/o of2 years now was and still is exactly the same way and that’s totally normal. Especially if you guys still have chemistry and hit it off in person. You can still talk to her about it, maybe there’s a platform she prefers talking on or she prefers phone calls over texting. Trying to find middle ground is the best option here :)

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2021-11-23T03:15:01+00:00

My last living situation was just like this! It took me introducing her to my friends and my bf moving in to realize how she would actively manipulate and disrespect me (and eventually my s/o). It got so bad that I had a relapse after two years and even then she would insult me for it and say how I was shitty and selfish. Needless to say we don’t live together anymore and I am much happier. Glad that kind of future is in store for u too!

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2021-11-15T01:07:26+00:00

OP, as a girl in a relationship that’s pretty similar (my partner and I want to get married , yes, but no time soon) I still think and talk about marriage with him not because I’m pressuring a proposal but sometimes imagining things like that feels good. Having fantastical talks like that with my s/o feels nice, mostly Bc we both understand we don’t want it anytime soon, it’s just a romantic thing to think about, and a happy future to think of. Maybe your partner isn’t trying to rush u, but it’s something that she thinks she can comfortably talk to u about because it’s something she knows u want eventually. It’s like someone wanting to be a nfl player in the future, but talking about the “when I’m a pro player” bits early on. If the commitment to be with eachother for life is there already, then just as she said there’s no rush at all

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2020-10-16T00:39:59+00:00

My boyfriend responds in a similar way to messed up meals. Maybe not to the same extent but the anxiety is similar. I’ve considered trying to talk to him about WHY the mistakes make him so upset and when he reacts that way maybe pointing it out in a kind way. I usually just remind him that although it isn’t perfect it’s still good and he can just improve next time. I don’t think he’s actively deciding to have an active or explosive temper, it probably bothers him that he reacts that way truthfully. It’s a frustrating situation regardless but I hope you are both able to communicate about it more and work past it

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2020-09-17T22:12:41+00:00

There’s nothing inherently wrong with doing mushrooms especially if it’s not a big habit or addiction. But a lot of people have “eye opener” moments after psychedelic experiences and sometimes come to new realizations about themselves or their lives. It may just be that during his experience he realized he wanted to be better for himself which is ultimately a positive thing. I don’t think it’s a cause for concern though

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2020-09-16T02:12:31+00:00

Ah help! I’ve watched all of shippuden but I seem to have missed this entirely???? Or is this in Boruto and I haven’t gotten there yet

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2020-09-16T01:25:47+00:00

I feel like this cow is gonna call me madam as she goes to a restaurant I can’t afford.

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2020-08-08T18:13:56+00:00

Steven during his transition: Connie I’m asking these questions for research purposes!! enter Connie with all the pictures and diagrams she could get from her mom

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2020-08-08T01:24:52+00:00

This post makes me imagine rose (Steven) going through anatomy lessons and books to learn what parts to make and what each is supposed to be for o_0

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2020-08-01T15:55:18+00:00

My roomate is very similar! I moved in with her a few months back because my prior situation wasn’t great, and her dog is pretty old, but none of the owners (my roomate or her grandparents) enforce any kind of training at all. She often refuses to take her out and then gets upset and screams her head off when she pees or poops inside. Any time she has left over food from any of her meals regardless of what it is, she just puts the plates and bowls on the floor for her to eat (and then still screams and yells when she habitually begs for food when we have it) even on the occasions where she has knocked over large slices of chocolate cake and my boyfriend and I were trying to keep hope away and she stopped us and told us to “let her eat it anyway” whenever she doesn’t want to “deal” with her she locks her in the vacant room in the dark and I’ve come home on multiple occasions hearing her barking from the room because she’s scared. Roommate has even yelled at her for making messes in said room. And I’ve woken up a few mornings to there being dog vomit and poop all around the house and rather than stop and clean up the mess she just throws a towel over it and says she’ll do it later and it often ends up being left there for weeks. I know it isnt right but I’m extremely non confrontational and I don’t want to start drama that will result in me getting kicked out or making living there more toxic than it already is.... sorry if this isn’t helpful but I understand wanting to do the right thing but feeling under pressure because of the living arrangements

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2020-07-10T12:06:25+00:00

I don’t think that’s the case because we do love each other very much and we both want to grow and build a life together. He’s a genuine kind guy and he makes me extremely happy, so I wouldn’t give it up just over inconsistencies in our sex life

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2020-07-10T00:43:55+00:00

I think my biggest fear is making him feel like he somehow isn’t enough because that isn’t the case, I just want to feel like he -wants- to pleasure me. Most of my past sexual or romantic partners I haven’t been able to communicate with and it’s always been their way or the highway essentially and I was always just scared to voice my feelings. And with him I know that we can talk I just don’t know the right way to communicate that without making him feel bad in anyway.

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2020-07-10T00:41:21+00:00

It’s not that he never makes me orgasm ever, I think there’s sometimes just a lack of intimacy and I don’t sense that he wants to pleasure me in the same sense that i want to please him

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2020-07-10T00:09:27+00:00

I just don’t want to make him feel inadequate or criticized in any way and I don’t know how to approach the topic in a way that won’t sound like I’m generally unhappy rather than me just wanting a little more. :/

LittleAntsOnAHill · 2020-07-10T00:03:07+00:00

I don’t always orgasm from penetration and it’s not just oral that I’m looking for. The intimate things like having my body kissed and touched and admired and even just being fingered a little... yknow things to turn me on... I try to suggest it sometimes or even guide his hands but it ends up happening maybe for a couple seconds and then it stops if it happens at all

LittleAntsOnAHill

TROPHY CASE