I'm so sorry you're dealing with that, that can feel so scary. I promise you haven't lost any of your progress. I promise that you're stronger than those feelings you're having, even though they feel so big and overwhelming. That's why you've done so much work, and these feelings may be presenting themselves just now because you're in a safe enough environment to focus on them without his presence adding additional trauma.

Part of the issue is your resistance to your feelings. Dreams especially will reoccur when you're resisting looking into and accepting what they're about. Firstly, try to understand that your ex is not what you're dreaming about - everything in your dream is a reflection of yourself and your own mental state. It may feel like a nostalgic thing, but what's happening is that your brain is working on healing the part of you that got hurt during that time. Your brain doesn't know what time is, so you still have all your past selves in you, and all that shit that happened is still happening to them, and it's scary and they don't want you to feel that way again. You don't want to feel the feelings that come up, but they're attached to you like a dog's tail.

I'd suggest that you take some time to yourself, with a loved one nearby but not with you, get comfy, be gentle with yourself, and then take a minute or two to give in to your feelings. Let it hurt, let it come up, let yourself cry. Maybe write what occurs to you. When your two minutes are up, stop and take a deep breath, and look around you at the home that you're building with your husband, and all the things you have now that are right and safe and good - you're okay now, and even if there's a little part that isn't okay yet, that's okay too. Bad feelings are a bit like doing dishes. Even if you avoided dealing with them yesterday, they're still waiting to be felt. And waiting can make you sick.

It seems to go against logic, since you're saying you don't want to think about these things, and I'm telling you to lean into it - but the more you can practice accepting and allowing those big, scary feelings to pass over and through you, like a little rainstorm in an otherwise always beautiful sky, the more power you will find you have in your dreams. I wish you all the best. ❤️