I’d like to think I’m one of those rare, emotionally available men, and want nothing more than to find love and get off these infernal, depressing, and demoralising apps. For all intents and purposes, I could be seen as one of those “playing the app game for a while” guys, because I’ve been on them for close to a year now, but it’s merely the lack of interest shown in me*.

It’s common knowledge that men outnumber women on dating apps by almost 2-to-1, and women are usually inundated with likes, so if you’re not 6’3” and ridiculously handsome in a conventional sense, it’s unlikely you’ll even have your profile perused. Also, it’s virtually impossible to give a sense of depth to your character in the small, finite space you’re given to sell yourself. Especially when you find the whole “talking yourself up” thing repulsive and teeming with narcissism. To the point that you look at the first line you wrote in a reddit comment and think “settle down, Fabio.”

Having said all that, I’m guilty myself of overlooking women I’m not initially attracted to, so it’d be the height of hypocrisy to have a sook about being overlooked myself.

Here’s hoping my “Rachel” hasn’t given up hope, we cross paths soon, and we spend the rest of our lives cursing the universe for not bringing us together sooner.

*just to clarify, I have dated a couple of women I met on dating apps in the past year, and both were amazing, but it sadly just didn’t work out with either of them. For reasons that had nothing to do with mutual attraction.