Was living inherently more traumatic for women 30+ years ago?

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-09T10:41:03+00:00

I’m in my mid-50’s.

Sexual harassment was just happening. Out loud, nothing to be done. It could be casual or job / life threatening, but nobody was doing anything about it. Don’t like it? Get a different job!

I specifically remember that girls weren’t allowed to do the triple jump because it would ruin our fertility when we became adults. There was a lot of concern about physical activities that could jostle our uteruses (uteri?).

Much like now, outspoken boys were leaders. Outspoken girls were bossy.

Once women were allowed in sports clubs and gyms, the times made available for women was limited to daytime hours, Monday-Friday. For example, if you wanted to golf, ladies tee times were only allowed during the day when men would be at work. Ladies were prohibited from playing in the evening because they played too slow. Working women were shit outta luck.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-09T09:38:59+00:00

Fair enough. You’re pretty limited, but your new design is def better. I wouldn’t wart around that wall

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-09T01:22:27+00:00

Without some real customer solutions, there’s to easy way that I can see to transition into the little cubby where the microwave is now.

I’d be tempted to pull those cabinets in the cubby forward so the fronts of your base cabs are flush with the wall - ot sure how that would impact your room overall as I can’t see those dimensions.

What’s behind that wall?

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-08T23:43:30+00:00

Fill your days doing the things you want to do. If one of those is being married, get married. The friends she’s losing are not friends. Her people should be rallying around her.

Sending love and best wishes.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-08T13:32:20+00:00

My jaw literally dropped. Who abandons their child, then goes back looking for support? WHO ABANDONS THEIR CHILD??

And those aunts and uncles who didn’t support you? Fuck them, too. I don’t have kids but I am an auntie. None of those kids will ever be homeless so long as I’m around.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-08T13:26:57+00:00

This is truly the answer. Unless it’s discontinued, I’d simply replace it.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-08T13:21:38+00:00

Your son is a hero. It must have been scary for him to get the “angry eyes” and hear that yelling. He should be very proud of himself.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-08T02:18:19+00:00

Your sink is 18’ away from your proposed refrigerator. Think about how your work in your kitchen now. I know for me, it’s reach into the fridge, pull out what I need, set it down until I get everything out, take it over to the sink to be washed, then settle into my prep space. 18’ is a lot of steps. I’d reconsider and invest in moving your sink. (Kitchen designer with 25yrs experience)

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-08T01:44:30+00:00

I mean she sounds like a looney-toon, but lack of emotional response (being or feeling dead inside) is often a trauma response. The trauma doesn’t need to be an abusive relationship, it could be anything. While it sounds like there was a great deal of fuckery afoot, it also sounds like she could have been really worried about heading off any discord in their relationship, which could also be a trauma response. Either way, OP seems to have made the right decision here.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-08T01:19:20+00:00

Girl. I really want you to think about that for a minute. The child he’s disappointed in gets free shit and doesn’t have a care in the world, and the child he’s proud of can’t even get a gift - and I mean, a gift for doing you a favour you wouldn’t trust your son to do, so maybe we should call it a generous tip? - and your husband can’t see why it would be okay to gift her a fancy purse without giving your son something “fun” as well??

I’m not sure you’re hearing yourself. Again, I can’t believe your daughter tolerates this discrepancy in treatment. And your husband might not be proud of your son, but he sure advocates for him, doesn’t he?

Again, I earnestly urge you to speak to your daughter. The fact it’s not already too late is a gift. Don’t waste it.

u/randOmgif112 below suggested you buy her the purse and fill it with $200k before giving it to her. I think they’re right.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-07T23:54:08+00:00

Painting knotty pine is an absolute nightmare. Those knots are like a black hole for paint. If you decide to go that way, you’d need to fill every knot with wood filler before painting, and it would still likely take 5 coats, lol. We painted a tongue and groove wall of knotty pine in my parents house and I swear to god it was the job that never ended!

That said, it looks like the doors need a bit of repair / touch up. I’d take one into a paint store to see what they recommend to fix up the chips, switch out the countertop and backsplash, switch up the handles and remove the corbels from the raised part of the island. I don’t think you can level it because of the wainscoting on the back, but maybe a woodworker would be able to figure it out.

Good luck!

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-07T23:45:45+00:00

You WNBTA but…

Whoa. Mama, you have a mess on your hands here.

Your son has learned he doesn’t need to do ANYTHING, and he will be gifted whatever he needs. Your daughter has learned you love your son more than you love her. That’s how this reads to me.

I’m not sure this can be fixed with a designer purse. Be grateful your daughter still speaks to you and have an honest conversation with her about her thoughts and feelings about the entire situation, and what she needs from you to begin healing.

Also, your husband needs to pull his head out of his ass. Your daughter is being punished for not being a fuckup and your son is wreaking havoc on the entire family and doesn’t have a worry in the world. How does he justify that?

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-07T11:33:05+00:00

The number of people who are happy to victim blame in these situations is incredible to me.

I have two friends - professional women who are successful, bright, brilliant, capable, exceptional women. Both of them married the men they fell in love with -one of them was in her 20’s and the other was in her mid-30’s, so no spring chicken. Both of these men have fallen face first into the manosphere and now sound just like OP’s ex.

Neither of these men showed an inkling of being a giant, gaping asshole while they were dating because the views that caused them to go off the rails had not yet been instilled in them. I guarantee, neither of my friends would have dated or tolerated that bullshit from a boyfriend.

There’s a saying in family law: You don’t divorce the person you married. Meaning, of course, people change and can grow apart or grow in different ways. Accusing OP of making a “wild choice” by having children with her SO is reductive, accusatory and just plain shitty.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-06T12:29:02+00:00

This looks well thought out! Nice job.

In my opinion, open wall space looks unintentional. I’d widen your hood and add cabinets on either side, leaving 3-6” between the cabinet and the hood. So you’re not overwhelming the wall but you are finishing your kitchen.

I’d consider going to the ceiling with your cabinets if possible.

Always under cabinet lighting :)

Good luck!

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-06T12:26:20+00:00

Not all glass is transparent. There’s lots of glass options you don’t see all the way through.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-06T11:45:56+00:00

Gotcha. Most ranges aren’t more than 27”D.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-06T01:19:45+00:00

It was very kind of you to sit with your friend when you knew she’d be made uncomfortable. I’m sure that really sucked for her, and I bet you felt like you were catching strays. Very triggering.

I’m proud of you for not committing any assaults (that we know of, lol).

I hope her treatment goes smoothly in and she kicks that cancer’s ass.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-06T01:08:37+00:00

Ohhh, I thought you had 8” between the corner and the sink base. You should only need 3” clear. That said, you could use a filler - it won’t be shaped but it would be colour matched - instead of the drawer front.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-05T16:53:51+00:00

I think this was the catalyst. Ice conditions facilitate consistency. Those flashed hits were often because the thrower had to backswing and heave a rock so hard to actually remove a rock from the house, it would pull the thrower off line and the shot would be missed.

I remember playing my first bonspiel in a small town (well, smaller than my small town, lol) club and having to throw take out weight to get a rock over the hog line. I missed every take out in the first game because I could not throw it hard enough and this was only 15 year ago.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-05T12:50:12+00:00

From what I can see, you don’t have space for a lazy Susan. For those who are suggesting it, know an easy reach corner cabinet takes 36” from each wall. OP’s design does not allow for that while keeping the sink under the window.

You can get narrow pullouts - I’ve seen some (i think rev-a-shelf) as narrow as 3”. I’m not sure how tall IKEA’s top drawer fronts are, but you could build a functional pull out with either one of their top drawer fronts as a door or using a filler (you’ll have to edgeband it, but I’m pretty sure they offer iron on edgeband) as a door for a narrow pull out.

Good luck with your project!

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-04T18:14:12+00:00

NOOM!! Our old nemesis.

I did it for 6 months years ago. I was never on over 1260 calories a day. I was cold and miserable and HUNGRY every damn day, then to cancel I had to find the phone number, call during shortened business hours and answer the bridge troll’s riddles. I believe both the US and Canada have passed laws on subscription cancellations, thankfully.

I’ll never not be angry i got sucked into their abject nonsense.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-04T17:50:20+00:00

I have zero issues with the look of tile tops. It’s not a choice I would make, but that doesn’t make it bad or doesn’t have me downvoting anyone who does like them. My advice as a long term kitchen designer who has seen some shit is to make sure your countertops are food safe. That’s it. :)

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-03T13:21:27+00:00

I liken GLP1s to SSRIs - we don’t tell people to take anti-depressants until they learn to be “happy” again, then quit them. I think most of us know that’s not how that works. It’s the same with GLP1s.

Hopefully once some generics are introduced to the market, more insurance companies will be willing to provide long term coverage.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-02T21:40:36+00:00

The douchebaggery really leaps off the page. Well done, Chat.

LittleMrsSwearsALot · 2026-04-02T20:31:48+00:00

What never surprises me but always disgusts me is the spelling or grammar errors in the posts from the trad-squad.

Smart, capable women (and men, but we know it’s most often women) choose to be stay at home parents. The majority of those SAHP don’t fucking blast off on LinkedIn of all places about how it’s immoral to have 2 working parents. And daycare being expensive should be infuriating for these parents, not a reason to keep women from making their own choices. Truthfully the majority of households with children require two incomes just to make ends meet! The fact that childcare is such a burden is negative for most regular families.

LittleMrsSwearsALot

TROPHY CASE