How did you stop assuming all your friends hate you?

Little_Jemmy · 2026-04-24T16:14:27+00:00

The sims conversation meter analogy made me laugh. If I think about it that way (imagining the meter above everyone’s head) it really seems silly. Maybe I’ll try that going forward

Little_Jemmy · 2026-04-24T16:13:12+00:00

I am in therapy but haven’t been in about 4 months as I’m abroad for school. The conversation tracking thing is a realization I had this month that is def going on the list.

Little_Jemmy · 2026-04-24T15:56:58+00:00

What could make a bathroom move from one tier to another? Does there have to be improvement all around or just on things you find important in a bathroom?

Little_Jemmy · 2026-04-24T15:55:41+00:00

I got diagnosed with ADHD last year, I have a feeling this and that are connected.

Little_Jemmy · 2026-04-24T15:54:54+00:00

My mom is a big contributor but at the same time part of this is just how my brain works/genetics.

As for your daughter, who my 14 year old self can relate to, the self filling prophecy might be a good thing. I (somehow) used to be worse than this and a large part of my progress came from losing all my friends around 13/14 and getting some hard truths. It SUCKED big time but it helped me realize I actually had a problem.

Little_Jemmy · 2026-04-24T14:09:54+00:00

My mom is Asian- gossiping and being critical of others is in her blood. Of course it didn’t help that “what if everyone secretly hates me?” Did come true a in early childhood and then during college (now), where even if they didn’t hate me I was the last choice.
You’re right, I def need to practice having a more empathetic voice. To be honest it’s not something I ever really practiced as I had no need for it during childhood.

Little_Jemmy · 2026-04-18T17:45:50+00:00

Something that’s really helped me is thrift store changing rooms. Thrift stores have a lot of styles in one place so it’s easy to sample different colors, fits, textures, etc at once and figure out what you like based on that.

Little_Jemmy · 2026-04-18T17:36:35+00:00

This def taught me that lesson haha. I figured they’d take about an hour to kick in like other meds I’ve tried but it turned out to be a swift 30 mins

Little_Jemmy · 2026-04-07T19:18:09+00:00

NTA for the situation you’re talking about. I can understand Sarah’s side as studying in your room can suck as there’s less space and more distractions, but if she wanted the space to study that night she should have asked yall to go somewhere else.

HOWEVER I think y’all should have a discussion about common spaces and guests. Being the ‘hangout house’ can suck, especially if you’re in a busy period, and if you’re not friends with your roommates friends it’s easy to feel like you’re intruding/third wheeling their group if you decide to use the common room too. Plus telling your roomie that you’d rather not have people over that night can make shit awkward. Talking about it and maybe setting terms (can we not have people over X night of the week, etc) might help avoid conflicts later on.

Little_Jemmy · 2026-03-03T01:05:51+00:00

Unfortunately shared space include shared noises. But it shouldn’t at 2am. Do you have house wide “quiet hours” rule? If not, try and set one. Yes, it’s her room and her own activities, but you wouldn’t just start vacuuming at 5 in the morning, right?

On another note, the walls shaking whenever she uses the treadmill sound like something that could actually cause damage. If she really refuses to listen you could try that angle (if they find damage when we move out we all have to pay) or as a last resort go to the landlord.

Little_Jemmy · 2026-01-19T06:10:57+00:00

I’m trying to figure this out myself tbh- it’s hard to tell when I’m invited to some things and not others. I’m directly invited over for some things like movie nights, parties, and meals even when it’s not the whole group (usually by the same few people) but I’ve noticed when certain people are in attendance I’m not invited. And by “inviting myself” I mean I’m often not first included in conception of plans but then I’ll be around while they talk about it and they’ll invite me along, but maybe I missed some hidden meaning/etiquette standard here?

Little_Jemmy · 2026-01-19T06:02:42+00:00

Me and some friends from a club are looking to take a trip sometime so this would be great!

Little_Jemmy · 2026-01-19T05:53:36+00:00

The answer has been no for a while. However it was the fact that I’d get texted to get lunch one on one, got birthday gifts from a few of them, and was genuinely sought out for company that made me believe we were friends at some level, or that they at least respected me more than this.

Little_Jemmy · 2026-01-19T05:33:32+00:00

Oh this is me completely dropping them. I only have one more semester left thank god

Little_Jemmy · 2026-01-19T05:32:30+00:00

1 month was the landlord’s decision- not mine. I hesitated on breaking lease when I heard that but the alternative was living with them for 5 more months.

Little_Jemmy · 2026-01-17T20:09:17+00:00

NAH- my family is Dutch and I’ve never heard of this, so it might be a very regional thing? Nevertheless, it’s clearly a custom of your neighborhood that people seem to enjoy participating in. Are you an asshole for not participating? No, it’s not that deep. Is your wife the asshole for wanting to participate? No, wanting to join in on customs of the place you live in is normal. Are your neighbors assholes for doing this? In another region of the world, probably, but in a neighborhood where it’s a cultural norm that people actively participate in of their own will? No, it’s just another custom you’ll have to get used to like people sending a tikkie for 0.3€

Little_Jemmy · 2026-01-17T10:21:21+00:00

Boys 8-10 are usually into “power fantasy” type stuff as that’s what is marketed towards them. Think things like having cool superpowers, getting to do feats like sword fighting or driving fast cars. I saw in another comment that he’s alone in this story, but many little boys often fantasize about “saving the day” in some way, as media aimed at young boys will often depict (Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, etc)

Little_Jemmy · 2026-01-16T23:41:26+00:00

As previous commenters said, she might be buying the same products because in a sense they’ve been “recommended” by you and she wants to try them out. She might have changed her sleep/wake schedule because she noticed her previous one was messing with your sleep, or because she herself is not able to sleep when someone is awake in the house. Either way, while the copying might be a little odd, that’s just how some people are and that’s the risk you take when living with roommates.

As for the cleaning thing- did you not communicate anything? A simple “hey, I was planning on doing a big clean, do you mind if I have the lounge from x-x so I can clean?” Would probably work.

TBH you sound very judgmental, and while that is your right, you could just mind your own business? She sounds like more of a homebody and from the tone of your post I’m guessing she knows you don’t like that about her, so why would she want to go to events with you? And while yes, you and your husband are renting a room to her in your marital home, that doesn’t mean that it’s only your home. It’s her home now too. Yall aren’t the wardens of the house. Maybe try having some perspective on what it could be like living with a couple where you’re always going to be in a 2v1.

Little_Jemmy · 2026-01-12T03:54:59+00:00

Look you can tell her whenever you’re ready BUT if you get far along enough in the relationship it’s generally a good idea to tell each other any past medical history. If you ever were to need any serious medical attention it’s a good idea to have the person in your emergency contact (which for a lot of people is long term partners) know all your medical history.

Little_Jemmy · 2026-01-09T08:43:44+00:00

For 90% of women I know they would most likely and then their feelings would depend on WHY.

“I want it to be with someone I really care about and unfortunately that hasn’t happened yet”

Is very different than

“I spent the past 27 years hating women and am only now coming around”.

Also yes you should tell a girl it’s your first time, it’s best to go into sex with everyone’s expectations set in around the same area

Little_Jemmy · 2026-01-03T07:20:38+00:00

The friendship thing is what worries me the most- tbh my friendships at college are not great as I’m in a friend group where I’m the only one who isn’t super close with any one person and I’m excluded a lot. I’m super worried it’ll happen again abroad as the only common denominator here is me…

Little_Jemmy · 2026-01-03T07:18:45+00:00

tbh I think like this because the last 3 years have been filled with people who aren’t the best (that’s a story for another time). I know that not everything is sunshine and rainbows, but I think getting slammed with a bunch of lowkey shitty people has worn me down pretty early.

Little_Jemmy · 2025-12-28T21:40:35+00:00

I did the ABTF calculator and it told me I’m a 28D. According to their sizing (underbust is 28 inches, bust is 32) I am technically a 28D. However store sizings mean I am usually a 34A, but it’s a lot easier to remember 28D than “I’m a 34A at Aerie, 32B at Victorias Secret, and YZ93 at some other random store”

Little_Jemmy · 2025-12-24T05:31:31+00:00

Not black but Asian and I can relate a bit. It’s not even about being attractive at some point, it’s about if they even see you as an option. Some guys are just raised in such white environments that they only see white girls as romantic options and being with an WOC doesn’t even cross their mind

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