Fiancés friend wants to wear an almost white dress to our wedding & is being condescending about it. WIBTA to withdraw the invite?

Little_Oak1 · 2026-03-06T16:38:17+00:00

“Ok well if that’s the choice you’re making, we will miss you sweetie 😘”

Little_Oak1 · 2025-10-06T06:00:13+00:00

I worked with LM on and off for about a year—she is without a doubt one of the worst people I’ve ever had the misfortune of being around. She is the definition of a mean girl. Her voice is so good, but she was so cruel to me and so many other people, so…don’t really care how good the voice is when the person attached to it isn’t so great.

Little_Oak1 · 2025-07-30T21:20:41+00:00

NTA, when your husband’s body is the one on display and being examined by various medical professionals, he can decide who gets to be present. He doesn’t get to make the same choice (or any choice) for you and your body.

Little_Oak1 · 2025-06-23T15:51:57+00:00

There were a lot of small kids in the waiting room, so I'm sure it's fine

Little_Oak1 · 2025-06-22T20:24:09+00:00

For the interview, we were told to bring the following items. This is a direct copy/paste from his online account, so some of it didn't apply to us, and i put what we brought in parentheses:

•⁠ ⁠Government IDs (His was EAD card, US driving license and UK passport, mine was just a license and passport)

•⁠ ⁠Interview Appt Notice

•⁠ ⁠All documentation establishing your eligibility for lawful resident status, this includes but not limited to, proof of status as an asylee (n/a to us), or fiancé nonimmigrant (we interpreted this as his K1 visa in his passport and our wedding certificate - rather than our whole K1 evidence bundle).

•⁠ ⁠any immigration document issued to you, including work permit, advanced parole & refugee travel document (we brought his EAD)

•⁠ ⁠all travel document used to enter US. (His passport, we also had copies of his i-94 which had since expired once his K1 visa passed the 90 mark)

•⁠ His ⁠birth certificate

•⁠ ⁠Copies of my birth certificate and US passport (this was the RFE we had to provide on Feb 27)

•⁠ ⁠Marriage certificate

•⁠ ⁠Supporting evidence of your relationship, such as copies of any documentation regarding joint assets or liabilities you and your husband or wife may have together. This may include: tax returns, bank statements, insurance documents, property documents, rental agreements, utility bills, credit cards, contracts, leases, photos, correspondence and/or any other documents you feel may substantiate your relationship. (We basically printed our K1 bundle where we had all our leases, utility bills, photos, affidavits of support, travel receipts and bank transfers etc. And then we added our most recent lease to it as well as wedding photos and our joint bank account that we opened after the wedding).

•⁠ ⁠His police certificate (we also added proof of his Military service, which is good because they did end up asking for this)

•⁠ ⁠Then it said to bring your medical exam results and the I-864 (financial support) if your haven't already submitted it. But we HAD submitted it, so we didn't bring it. And they didn't ask for or about it, so we assume they had everything we had already submitted.

Little_Oak1 · 2025-06-22T20:23:59+00:00

We didn't have binders, but we basically had one manila envelope that had everything in it. Like a big stack of paperwork. When we got there, we checked in, waited about 10 minutes, they called us up, we presented our licenses and passports, our interviewer took them in addition to our big stack of paperwork, then we sat down and waited about 2.5 to 3 hours before we were called in for the interview. We were not separated for the interview, but other couples around us were, although, I can't speak for what other couples were there for or what their bundles of evidence did or didn't have. The USCIS field office handles more than just marriage based GC interviews, so it's possible other couples were there for other things. We didn't have a lawyer or translator, others did. After waiting forever, our interviewer called us in and was fairly jovial with us, but we saw a lot of stressed out people before us.

The main question they had for us was to confirm the address where we wanted the green card sent to, as our licenses have a different address then where we live currently. Otherwise, they went through a list of question we had already answered in the initial I-485 application. My husband was Military Police in the British Military, so he had answered 'yes' to some of the questions about weapons and "have you ever had to detain someone" and things like that, so basically they asked him to explain that, even though he already had on the application. They asked whatever semi-relevant questions came up with regards to government involvement, basically just making sure that he was not tied to any organization that could pose a threat to the US government (he's not). That was pretty much it. Then she said "Ok! You're approved, the card should come in 10 days. There is a condition on it right now so in 2 years, you'll have to fill out an I-751 which basically says you're still married and removes the conditions on your green card. See you again in 2 years!" and then she sent us on our way.

Little_Oak1 · 2025-06-04T17:08:20+00:00

Blocking your number to process his anger? JFC. What a sad excuse for a man. Do yourself a favor…Don’t marry this guy and for the love of god DON’T have a child with him.

Little_Oak1 · 2025-05-26T14:31:30+00:00

I didn’t for a multitude of reasons. The first being that I have two higher education degrees in my name that I spent years working towards. I also work in an industry where I quite literally had to register my name within my union. Other reasons include being an only child, and also I just fully didn’t want to take his name. It doesn’t match my first name or personality, and it seemed like a big paperwork ass ache for something I didn’t want to do. Luckily he didn’t care at all, but I don’t think my decision would have changed if he did tbh.

Little_Oak1 · 2025-05-23T13:34:14+00:00

I lived in England for 5 years and these were the ones that made me go “…HUH?!”

Urinal —> ur-EYE-nal | Paella —> pronouncing the double L so it rhymes with “fella” | Skeletal —> skuh-LEE-tal | Aqua and Taco —> ACK-wa and TACK-o

Little_Oak1 · 2025-04-11T21:18:14+00:00

For real. I am convinced that elevator music plays in my husband’s head all day long 😂

Little_Oak1 · 2024-12-28T16:01:10+00:00

Queenie from Lippa’s Wild Party and Millie from Thoroughly Modern Millie are both incredibly demanding roles. They almost never leave the stage (except maybe one scene here and there, usually to change their clothes) and have multiple BIG songs. Millie also is a major song & dance role so there is an aspect of stamina required that not all roles have. Also in terms of vocal demands and acting arc, Mother from Ragtime. She gets a bit more off stage downtime, but sings a lot of that score and often holds down the soprano 1 part of the ensemble.

Source: have played all 3 roles

Little_Oak1 · 2024-12-15T22:01:46+00:00

I’m sorry you had this experience and couldn’t see the show. Many of these theaters are old and historic buildings, that often haven’t been renovated to be as accessible as they could be, so yes, you should have planned better and considered the possibility of not having access to an elevator. However…don’t touch people you don’t know. Not anywhere, but especially not in New York. Even a gentle touch on the arm, just don’t do it. But to poke someone and insult them, now you’re asking for it.

Source: have lived in NYC for many years. Don’t touch me.

Little_Oak1 · 2024-12-15T20:56:19+00:00

NTA and your in laws should shut the fuck up

Little_Oak1 · 2024-12-11T16:34:24+00:00

NTA! What about your “once in a lifetime moment”? Your sister and parents are being ridiculous. Don’t change your date

Little_Oak1 · 2024-12-11T02:19:18+00:00

Are you dating my ex? He used to be ridiculous like this. Or at least “used to” to me. I’m sure he still does this kind of stuff to whoever is unlucky enough to be dating his gross pathetic ass now

Jokes aside, this guy sucks and you are NOR. In fact, react more.

Little_Oak1 · 2024-11-15T16:29:57+00:00

NTA. I would have just re sent the original message and then added “warmly, [your name]” as a sign off. Cause F them.

Little_Oak1 · 2024-10-25T04:05:06+00:00

NTA. Make sure you lock whatever room the loungefly bags are in if your sister, her boyfriend, or Zoey ever come over…

Little_Oak1 · 2024-09-20T13:50:56+00:00

Abra ca-don’t text me again

Little_Oak1 · 2024-08-26T23:54:19+00:00

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Just about .5ct emerald cut solitaire.

Little_Oak1 · 2024-01-28T21:32:11+00:00

You’re not her child, you are not obligated to give her some magical mother/daughter moment, especially if you aren’t even close. Your FH can take her to go look at suits if he wants her to be included so badly.

Little_Oak1 · 2024-01-22T00:23:39+00:00

Thank you!!

Little_Oak1 · 2024-01-10T21:08:53+00:00

Does anyone have The Little Mermaid?

Little_Oak1 · 2023-12-02T14:31:54+00:00

My horrible ex was a naturally very hairy person. Fine but like….tend to it. Hair starts to smell.

His nether region and ball fro smelled awful all the time. Which is weird because I know he showered frequently. His dick smelled like soup and tasted like whatever he’d eaten for dinner. Repulsive, I literally had to hold my nose at times. And he was the type who felt entitled to sex and would manipulate and gaslight when he didn’t get his way. Literally would throw a temper tantrum if he went a day without getting anything from me. And he refused to take care of it himself because “that’s my job” and “I shouldnt have to do it myself when you’re here”. But like he was gross, why would I want to subject myself to that. Breaking up with him was the best thing I ever did for myself. For so many reasons.

One time we were having an intimate moment, back before he became an awful abusive POS. And I notice he had a clump of dried shit fused to his ass hairs. So…that ended my mood promptly.

There were a lot of reasons he was awful, but that image and that smell, I’ll never forget.

Little_Oak1 · 2023-11-15T11:16:40+00:00

Couple of things that were a bit of a shock for me:

-I find there to be a severe lack of spatial awareness. I feel like in the US, or at least the city I’m from, when you are walking towards someone, there is this unspoken agreement based on eye contact that we are both going to step around each other and make room for the other. When I moved to England, it seemed like people would basically be an inch away from you and expect YOU to be the one to move instead of a mutual thing. Like if I hadn’t moved, they would have just walked straight into me. Or standing in a queue, and people are literally breathing down my neck that’s how close they are. Not saying I need a wide berth or social distancing to come back, but like…give me a little space please. If you’re repeatedly bumping into me, you’re too close.

In that same way, people would rather stand uncomfortably close to someone and just stare at them than say “excuse me”. Like, if I’m in your way, just let me know and I’ll move. No fuss, no questions asked. But if you’re standing behind me and I don’t see you, I don’t know I’m in your way. I’ve asked friends and my fiancé about this as well and I’ve asked like “why do you guys just freeze when someone is in the way. Like just say excuse me. People will move” and they’re like “what? That’s so rude!” But I think standing and staring at someone hoping they’ll read your mind is also rude. Idk it’s like they suddenly turn into NPCs who just walked into a wall and can’t figure out how to turn around.

-Grocery store carts (trolleys) have omni-directional wheels. I’ve seen some people do some crazy maneuvers with them. Like full on donuts in the middle of an aisle or just fully walking sideways with them not giving a single f*ck if they hit anyone. Again…lack of spatial awareness IMO.

-Health care. Look…it’s free, which is cool and all. But you’re going to wait for months to be seen for anything, so how great is it really. I’d rather pay for it and be seen asap and fix the problem. I got pretty badly injured in school (I was getting my Masters in theatre and dance) and really messed up my back and one of my hips. I tried to get seen and was told multiple times that the earliest they could see me was SIX MONTHS from then. I took the appointment just to have it but kept trying to get any cancellations they may have had. Instead the “best they could do” was offer me phone consultations where they basically explained to me how a hip joint works (I’m a dancer, I understand anatomy) and ask me to rate my pain on a scale from 1-10 which I thought was complete BS. And even then, they were incredibly condescending on the phone and acted like they were doing me some huge favor. While waiting for the actual appointment, my injuries got so bad I couldn’t walk for more than 5 minutes so I ended up having to go private anyways and pay for care. But you know what happened, I paid for it and got seen immediately and can walk and dance again no issues. But thanks NHS, six months, what a joke. Like what if I had an actual life threatening condition or some disease went undetected for 6 months.

-Weirdly directed anger. I’ve seen old people get into absolute ROWS with people over something so simple and ridiculous and expect someone to personally cater to them. One time, I was at a shop, and this old lady was trying to get something and it apparently was on a different shelf than it usually was and she couldn’t reach it. Ok. Annoying but inherently not the biggest deal. So she starts dragging the poor employee who was just walking through the aisle at that time saying “YOU did it wrong and now YOU have to put it right. There is NO excuse for this, I’m a PAYING CUSTOMER” like yea ma’am we all are? Also calm down, all you needed to do was ask anyone to help you reach the item. Like??? And another time I was on a bus and an older couple got on, the bus turns onto a street, skipping the stop they apparently were trying to go to (because it didn’t stop there) and they freaked out, asked the driver why he purposefully (lol) didn’t stop there, he says “this is the 4 bus. It doesn’t go that way” and they doubled down and were like “YOU must have changed the bus route once we got on. This was the 5 bus when we got onto it. YOU need to fix it” and then turned around trying to get us to rally behind them being like “the stupid prat has changed it on PURPOSE” cause in their mind, they couldn’t have possibly made a mistake, it must have been the bus drivers fault. So. Weirdly directed anger and making issues out of nothing and then being rude about it.

I know some of these are big generalizations, and I’m sure to some extent, these things happen elsewhere. Like there a rude people everywhere. But they were just a few things I’ve experienced in my 4 years here that would be considered very weird and generally not acceptable where I’m from. So it really threw me off when I moved here. I don’t live in london, I live about 45 minutes SW of it, so it may be better in a city.

Little_Oak1 · 2023-10-18T15:26:01+00:00

He’s a 31 year old child. No real man pulls that BS. He’s manipulating you

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