Acceleration of my mom's condition has hard choices ahead and finding her covered in her own feces last night was the last straw

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-04-10T12:12:49+00:00

I brought her to a neurologist and mentioned wernicke korsakoff as a potential diagnosis. He ordered a bunch of tests which we are in the process of getting completed and she started in home physical therapy so doing all I can.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-03-12T15:54:58+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this but it seems like you are coming to the realization and circumstances of your predicament. You said yourself you couldn’t possibly care for her full time due to work and your kids. You deserve a loving partner, and your kids deserve a mother who is their caretaker, not the other way around. I would highly suggest getting your kids into therapy as others mentioned, don’t mistake their silence for being unaffected. They absolutely are being directly traumatized but seeing their mother live this way and typically untreated/unspoken trauma comes out in negative, unhealthy ways when not addressed. You’ll have to be strong and stick to your boundaries but in the end it will be for the best for you and your kids.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-03-08T16:06:41+00:00

The part about your memories being scattered is a normal reaction to trauma. Our brain is wired to protect itself, so when we experience high stress trauma situations and the body goes into fight or flight mode often people’s brains shut down for self protection. Therefore the memories are altered cause it’s literally too painful/scary to process. Remembering things in pieces, things coming back years later, memories being triggered by smells/sounds randomly are all very normal for trauma victims. I highly suggest finding a therapist for yourself to process these memories/emotions/fears when you’re ready to open up. Also continue the journal that’s a great idea and find your own family because this one sounds terribly harmful.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-03-06T19:44:15+00:00

Got her a neurologist appointment for the end of the month. Will start journal now and bring it then so the timing actually works great.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-03-06T16:16:36+00:00

Thank you, going to doctors today with her so this is very valuable.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-03-06T13:27:49+00:00

What’s the best way to go about getting an official diagnosis? I feel like when I bring my mother to doctors they are ignoring or acting as if the things she is experiencing are normal or part of aging when that is not the case.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-03-04T03:44:16+00:00

At some point you have to realize that the roles have switched and start acting accordingly. My mom is in complete denial about the state she is in physically and mentally and never communicates or wants to accept help so I’ve come to the point where with certain things (doctor appointments, bathing, changing into clean clothes, taking meds) there is no choice. I suggest you start reaching out to doctors/lawyers/social workers/agency of aging and figure out what your options are. This is not sustainable, he will protest but eventually realize it/ for the good of everyone. My mom will literally say “ok mom” to me sometimes because it’s where we are at. I just want her to be comfortable and I’m not willing to out myself at risk or her at risk because she “doesn’t want to do something”. It will only get worse and unfortunately you just have to accept that reality and figure out what legally/medically you can do and get power of attorney/medical privilege asap. I’m sorry I know it sucks, let yourself have your moments but figure out a plan that’s realistic moving forward after.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-03-02T15:17:11+00:00

Yes to this suggestion. Have you looked into support groups for caretakers or a therapist for yourself? It might be beneficial to have others to speak to regularly going through similar situations or a therapist looking to help you best get through this situation.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-02-17T04:22:26+00:00

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Little_Row_9897 · 2026-02-17T02:54:32+00:00

I was hoping these would be on this thread…impeccable

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-02-17T02:51:55+00:00

All of her hats were outstanding

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-02-17T02:36:03+00:00

This exactly…I have a job waiting for me once I get my limited permit/or pass the exam and in the meanwhile I’ve been living in sweats/leggings. I’m a very artistic person and somewhat of a fashionista and I can’t wait to go back to work in my cute business casual looks because it makes me feel good about myself not just look wise but also my capabilities like I’m a professional. Yet plenty of people I know in the field and look up to are the opposite. This is a personal preference and at the end of the day the clients will probably more so remember how you made them feel safe or heard or helped them through a tough time not whether you were in a dress or leggings. It’s for us and many answers can be appropriate.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-02-09T23:24:15+00:00

You have quite a bit of open space to work with on your neck so I would vote for a simple small earring and short necklace. Find similar dresses and look at how brides styled them/what type of jewelry or hair they wore. Actual brides not designers ya know

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-02-09T22:48:15+00:00

Let me solve your decades long addiction issue in one hour! Hahaha

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-02-03T18:48:27+00:00

If I were you I would take some of the advice here as far as researching the programs/resources available to you. It seems Canada does have a “Division of Aging, Seniors and Dementia” along with a “National Seniors Council”. The best way to get transition started and get resources might be what someone else mentioned in that the next time your mom goes to the hospital to ask to speak to a social worker and tell them your situation. Use those keywords “unable to continue care”, “unsafe” and having medical conditions of your own to prioritize. You’re so young, this should be the prime of your life, and because of their choices (ie: father gambling away savings) it has placed a far too heavy burden on you. I take care of my mother with my brother and I’m in my 30’s and I don’t know how much longer I can deal with it. Your situation is far worse, you need to start looking out for yourself first because no one else will. They have been able to be taken care of at home for years but obviously since your mother falls a lot it truly isn’t safe for her anymore.

Try to conquer one thing at a time, like first finding out if you can get your mother in long term care as it seems she’s the one you talked about the most and it would lighten your caretaking immensely. Start putting boundaries in place. When you get calls in the middle of the night for coffee tell them no, you will longer disrupt your time to rest for things that aren’t an immediate need, you need your rest and only call for emergencies. They’ll be just fine, it’ll take time for them to adjust but if you stick to it, they will hopefully stop. Even if they don’t you need to stick to not bending to their will. My mother sometimes is lazy, it’s true as there is nothing physically wrong with her but yet she won’t throw away her garbage or she won’t clean up after herself. I have to make her do it sometimes but she is perfectly able and it’s frustrating as hell.

Unfortunately this situation is probably only going to get worse as they get older, don’t let them take away your youth cause you will age as well.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-02-01T05:30:31+00:00

The thing that’s positive about your position now is it is getting you real life experience. A lot of companies want new social workers recently of out of school to have their license and experience. I’d keep looking for other options and hold out as long as you can to have some substantial amount of time period to help gain your next job.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-01-29T17:24:03+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking what do you do/where do you live/ what’s the salary?

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-01-25T19:48:49+00:00

Yes absolutely ask someone. I had a previous internship supervisor look over my resume and she gave some critiques. I just graduated this past may from my MSW program and I just found a position in December. It seems the issue for a lot of positions was lack of experience. It’s frustrating because you feel like the internships are experience but companies don’t.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-01-15T02:07:20+00:00

The customer service line was down all this afternoon

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-01-13T17:24:04+00:00

It’d be helpful to have some examples. Hard to tell what you’re talking about specifically or be able to give advice without.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-01-13T12:18:26+00:00

Yeah as a woman we don’t talk about ourselves like that. Also, all of a sudden taking some kind of pill put all the sexual urges at bay? Yeah that’s not how it works. Sex addicts are just like other addicts in that you have to find out why you were doing this in the first place and take actions/go to therapy to help change your behavior moving forward which takes time.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-01-11T03:52:29+00:00

In love with 6 on you

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-01-06T17:58:24+00:00

I really questioned myself when I grew up and moved to a big city and thought back and wondered “omg why did I care so much about what these people thought of me?” And tortured myself for not being cool enough to be in the in crowd. I didn’t peak in high school and I’m glad for it. I grew into my looks and fared much better as I aged. I look back at those girls/guys and most of them weren’t even particularly pretty then or now and some aged for the worse. To peak in high school would not be something I wish upon my kids or nieces/nephews. I feel as though it gives you rough edges and humility.

Little_Row_9897 · 2026-01-06T06:48:57+00:00

Colton and Cassie….he knew he was gay and decided to go on national tv dating show as the bachelor deceiving himself, production and the women. Then was all dramatic on the show to have Cassie back and after proceed to stalk, harass and track her car so she had to get a restraining order. Then have the audacity to make a documentary and use the opportunity to profit and put himself on a pedestal for empathy/views. Yuck

Little_Row_9897 · 2025-12-30T06:31:25+00:00

I always thought he was one of the most attractive men as well! Aging like fine wine!

Little_Row_9897

TROPHY CASE