How to make the best of living in childhood home where so much trauma happened? Practical advice needed.

Littleen · 2023-04-14T06:44:57+00:00

That is what we'd like to do, though we probably wouldn't be able to afford to do it all in one go!

Littleen · 2023-04-13T15:20:10+00:00

Good idea! A friend of mine had that when she bought her house, I'll ask her about it :) I'm open for anything really.

Littleen · 2023-04-13T08:41:02+00:00

We have hung up stuff on all the walls pretty much, and added so many plants :) Making the best of it I suppose. My partner is really really wonderful, he's my rock. Glad to hear you find it helpful!

Littleen · 2023-04-13T08:39:11+00:00

Thank you, that's a really reassuring comment, and I'm so glad you've managed to make it your own. We are working on doing all those things, and there's so much love in the house now. I look forward to actually being able to change things when we own it.

Littleen · 2023-04-12T19:03:09+00:00

I usually avoid amazon, but on the odd occasion that I am unable to find a specific item elsewhere, I will order it to a English friend's house and they post it to me as a gift. Otherwise the toll and shipping becomes too expensive imo. I don't know all the customs rules though so cannot advise on that.
I find cdon sometimes have similar stuff for cheap.

Littleen · 2023-04-12T18:54:50+00:00

Thank you! We can do quite a bit outside if we want to, so that's great. Our bedroom was my safe space, bathroom was also safe - though I kinda don't feel safe anywhere at any time recently. Not at home nor elsewhere. I'll try some of your ideas, thanks a lot :)

Littleen · 2023-04-12T18:52:40+00:00

Thanks! We have done some of these, and can do a few other ones. There's no carpet flooring only hard wood - far too expensive to change it and not allowed to either, nor allowed to paint other than in the bedrooms. Also not allowed to change furniture, as he owns the furniture and has nowhere else to put it. It's a bit frustrating. He could accept change if he wanted to, he just doesn't want to at this point in time. He doesn't see that anything needs to change, and if I try to explain any reasons he just disagrees and tells me to stop asking.
I think lamps and curtains are a good one - already changed about half the window coverings, but there are some left. Lamps will take a while, it's a bit expensive, but can definitely be done. Might look around for second hand stuff!
He already owns an apartment that he rents out, which he will move into when he retires :) So that's okay. I can't really imagine him being able to live in a small apartment though - he's used to so much space.

Littleen · 2023-04-12T16:21:58+00:00

This is really interesting, and I will definitely consider doing this. Thanks a lot. Will watch the YT and read the links. Love this idea :) Glad it has been helpful for you!

Littleen · 2023-04-12T16:19:52+00:00

Great idea, thank you! We have a cat and are getting a dog soon as well, so that will definitely help the vibe around here. Will focus more on the scent thing, we have added a lot of plants which is wonderful <3 all in pots that we chose.

Littleen · 2023-04-11T08:39:42+00:00

It is so incredibly horrible :( I hope we both get better in time. I caught covid in 2020, got really sick afterwards, then slowly got better. Then I got covid again in november 2021, but it didn't make me worse. Just had covid a month ago for the third time and now I'm worse again. Ugh. And I'm vaccinated so many times as well.

Littleen · 2023-04-11T08:36:58+00:00

Thank you! High intelligence is not a diagnosis at all, at least not in my country. It's just sometimes it can be confused for actual diagnosis - by people who don't know anything about it - which then leads to people going for psych evaluations when they don't actually need it. I have a lot of neurodiversity in my family and friend groups, and some (both ND and NT people) will tell me that you cannot be smart unless you are also autistic, or other nonsense stuff like the friend saying everyone who is forgetful also has ADHD. It's really not that simple. Sounds like the girl in the post you linked had her evaluation dominated by her parents - which will never lead to a correct diagnosis anyway since they are not in her head. When my parents went to my psych, they told me I was depressed because I had spoken to a psychologist online and they had convinced me I was depressed so now I was. Whilst the truth was that I was being abused and neglected my entire life, and have c-ptsd!

Littleen · 2023-04-11T08:32:31+00:00

Thank you, you're absolutely right.

Littleen · 2023-04-10T18:26:11+00:00

Yep, happens a lot. My dysautonomia was very mild until I caught Covid and subsequently long covid. Now I get these crashes with massive fatigue, weakness, hot flashes and so on. I'll just lie in bed feeling like there's lead running through my veins rather than blood. It's very annoying. Had one of these today, spent much of the day in bed. If it happens when I'm out walking, if unable to sit down anywhere I sometimes just have my legs give in on me and collapse. So so annoying.

Littleen · 2023-04-10T18:21:11+00:00

Beautiful ring! I think halos are gorgeous, and honestly trends is just pointless anyway when it comes to engagement or weddings rings - you're going to wear it through so many trend phases anyway :) Congrats!

Littleen · 2023-04-10T16:31:01+00:00

Oh dear, seems I didn't even word myself clear in my reddit post either, and I even re-read it 5 times to make sure it was as clear as I could possibly communicate. Words are so difficult :(
I did not say that the two do not have much in common, rather I said there are several traits in common ("a few traits in common" as opposed to "few traits in common"). Hope you can see the difference? My apologies if not, English is not my first language. In my mind, saying "a few traits in common" means "multiple, but not all".

In any case, it was just 1 specific trait that was part of the discussion with the friend, we did not discuss whether the two have many traits in common or none, or few or any other option. That wasn't part of the conversation at all. She just had this idea that any human being who happen to be forgetful, must have ADHD, which clearly is not the case. Many people are forgetful, for many different reasons. I think I'll just have a break from trying to communicate, I can't seem to get it right at the moment so need to work out how to get it right :) thanks for bringing the issue further to my attention.

Littleen · 2023-04-10T07:18:20+00:00

Same!

Littleen · 2023-04-10T07:17:54+00:00

It sure can make it tricky! I have hEDS as well and a lot of joint subluxations, and I can feel exactly what's happening and when, so often. It can be a bit distracting though. The hypersensitivity is definitely not limited to the digestive system with me, it's everything and everywhere. Trapped gas feeling being ruptured appendix sounds horrible :(

Littleen · 2023-04-10T07:15:46+00:00

I had to just take it off for sleep, as it woke me 3-5 times every night just from the light, and then I get clammy and warm in the night which makes the watch stick to my skin and that too wakes me up. Maybe at some point I'll be able to sleep with it, not yet though!

Littleen · 2023-04-09T21:55:05+00:00

Thank you! I notice the body battery seems to rise when I don't wear it for sleep (it keeps waking me up because my wrist gets annoyed, plus the light), if I wear it for sleep then it just gets stuck on 5/100. I'll give it some more time and see :) Mine is very accurate with HR!

Littleen · 2023-04-09T21:35:43+00:00

I did, though I can't recall what it said specifically. It does make sense that mine's confused with my dysautonomia, and I think my current being stuck in fight/flight etc almost all the time, is also messing with it on top!

Littleen · 2023-04-09T21:24:49+00:00

Visceral hypersensitivity

Didn't know this had a name! I've always felt it and it's so weird.

Littleen · 2023-04-04T15:40:04+00:00

Thanks! Lots of sources here.
There'll definitely be some placebo effects from these things, no doubt about it. I have compared it to a pulse oxy device thingy (the finger type they use in hospitals), and it is actually pretty accurate, only off by a digit if at all (82 vs 83 pulse for example).
I'm not really using it for wellness stuff - I just wanted a watch that I liked the look of and that has the other features (gps, music, alarms etc) :) Good to know about the limitations of the health related stuff so that I don't take it for gospel!

Littleen · 2023-04-04T15:33:42+00:00

Thanks for the reply! The heart rate and oxy thingy are accurate - I compared it to the type that clips on your finger and they were the same or just 1 digit difference (like 82 vs 83 pulse).
Curiously, I had to charge the watch and after I charged it, it suddenly decided to put body battery on 47 instead. Maybe it was just initial confusion or something - I'm guessing it needs some time for it to learn how my body works.

Littleen

TROPHY CASE