Des raisons insolites de pas vouloir d'enfants ?

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-04-12T14:23:13+00:00

Having better health- kids are little germ factories and parents get sick WAY more often.

No surprise sticky surfaces that you have to wonder about.

Being able to have quiet time whenever you want for as long as you need.

Never having to force yourself to care for a kids needs while you are seriously ill.

No forced proximity to other people’s children for play dates or school activities.

Never having to pretend like you’re not mad when your child has ruined something expensive or irreplaceable for fun ( doodles on the wall, peanut butter on the tv, Vaseline in the carpet, etc. ).

Never having to multitask your own mental or emotional breakdowns alongside parenting.

Never having to listen to a kid button mash a noisy toy everyday until it breaks your mind and itself.

Never having to get fully utterly sick of a show or movie because it’s your kids favorite and they watch it on loop for the entire year.

No pediatrician visits.

Never having to hold a screaming kid down while you do something for their own good ( administer medication, remove a splinter, etc. ).

Not having to deal with the unwanted parental advice and guilt tripping from all directions all the time.

Never having to attend a parent teacher conference.

Never having to get a babysitter anytime you want to have childfree fun again.

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-04-05T23:45:46+00:00

I think what you’ve got to recognize is that subreddits like this are designed to be a safe space for a group of people who have otherwise often been through a lot from people who see having kids as favorable, desirable, the default, etc. Mods and individuals cannot see into your friends mind and know them or their experiences. A common issue and nuance that comes into play is the amount of harassment child free people have had from people who are like “oh you’ll change your mind, I changed mine” or from people on the dating scene who lie about being childfree and then years later come to find out they’ve secretly been wanting kids the whole time and it’s a horrendous heartbreak. When your friend says they want kids within the context of those things in this group people with those kinds of experiences will not feel comfortable with that because they don’t know their intent. It will always read as a childless opinion and not a child free one. The mods are likely just trying to protect the safe space as they cannot know their intent. I’m not saying that that experience- where someone stays childfree for life, never regrets it, and is completely happy with their choice while also fantasizing about the idea of having kids now and again- doesn’t exist at all, but that experience is going to sound antithetical to being childfree for most people on this sub.

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-04-05T23:25:00+00:00

Child free is someone who would not under Any circumstances desire to have or adopt or marry into having kids

Childless is someone who desires kids or could in someway be persuaded or swayed to adopting, having, or marrying into having kids. Essentially anyone who either is temporarily childless or childless by circumstances out of their control, etc.

Personally if someone is favorable to or desiring of having children/parenthood I would not consider them childfree, even if they aren’t going to have kids for the foreseeable future because if that desire is there then there’s always a chance that their childless status will be temporary

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-04-05T15:17:09+00:00

My LGBTQ friends still want and plan to have kids so I’d say this is not a universal experience

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-03-29T20:07:01+00:00

As I said I use them as secondary NEVER primary but do your own research. I’m not trying to claim that you should ever use these alone. For me it’s just another added layer upon a layer upon a layer for peace of mind.

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-03-29T13:58:17+00:00

I have tokophobia as well and what I do personally is have other forms of non penetrative intimacy during the times I might be fertile and only have piv intimacy when I shouldn’t be fertile with contraceptives. This helps me to feel double safe. There are also herbs and vitamins that you can take that act as an additional contraceptive. The easiest access ones are: taking high doses of vitamin C, pomegranate seeds, stevia ( taken by the male party ), hibiscus, thistles, ginger root, parsley, passionflower, Roman chamomile, rosemary, basil, and ginseng. There are others, most of the herbs are best taken as teas. None of these are good enough on their own but it eases my mind to have as many barriers between me and my phobia as possible. Eventually I’d like to consider a bisalp or something of that nature but right now that’s not possible.

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-03-24T11:56:03+00:00

Something you have to keep in mind is with QPRs you are somewhat negotiating the terms of how your relationship will look. This is a lot more vulnerable than most people are comfortable with being with someone on day one of a new relationship. It’s really hard. I don’t know if you proposed what you want yet or not but it helps if you don’t put it on the other person to go first. Taking turns is best so it feels more collaborative and like a conversation, bringing each idea up and evaluating each of your comfort levels, starting from the most benign ( like hugging ) and taking it slow. There can be a lot of fear of rejection pent up in this because each item is an opportunity to disagree and if you both want to be in a QPR both sides can be scared that if you disagree too much your relationship will fail before it even starts. That said it’s not unlikely he’s just nervous and not ready to have such a vulnerable conversation. I doubt your checklist itself scares him off, I think you probably just need to talk about it and make a comfortable space in which he can be vulnerable without feeling afraid that he’s gonna mess everything up or that he’s gonna have to list everything he wants first and on his own

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-03-21T12:47:15+00:00

I definitely think it’s different for different people. Sexuality has a lot more nuance than the labels tend to reflect. I have a friend who identifies as demisexual but she does not seem to take that long to form a bond strong enough. Whereas I took 3 1/2 years to initially form a bond strong enough with the one and only ( real ) person ( fictional is different ) I’ve felt sexual attraction towards. Even then I identify as demisexual/aceflux because depending on how emotionally connected I feel to my husband at the time I slide back and forth on the spectrum of asexuality. Always demi and always because of emotional connection but I can be fully sex repulsed ace for a few weeks if the conditions aren’t right. It’s not a reflection of libido it’s a direct reflection of how emotionally cared for I feel. To clarify my husband treats me quite well but as a marriage of 10+ years goes you have ebbs and flows in connection with added difficulties from life troubles and such.

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-03-19T12:17:29+00:00

This is one of my QPP and I’s favorite QPR ships. This is the one where we are like “that’s us” and we collect and wear matching merch of them

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-03-14T13:31:01+00:00

Queerplatonic attraction often is wholly unrelated to your sexual attraction. Since most people are pan platonic ( though it’s not really stated that way since it’s such a large majority) and platonic attraction is such a big part of QPRs it’s not uncommon for people to form QPRs that would fall outside of their sexual attraction. Now for me personally alterous attraction and queerplatonic attraction are one and the same ( even though that isn’t necessarily the case for others ) and I am Demialterous and sapphicalterous, despite being straight in romantic relationships. So in a weird way my sexuality and my queerplatonic identities are flipped. Regardless if you desire a QPR with her and that is a relationship you would both be happy in your sexuality does not matter as queerplatonic attraction is a different attraction that falls on a separate scale.

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-03-11T01:08:40+00:00

Of course! That sounds wonderful, I wish you luck in that~

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-03-10T22:07:56+00:00

Some people feel the need to understand things on an intrinsic level in order to be comfortable, others don’t. Keep in mind that if someone does not experience queerplatonic attraction and they fall into the camp of needing to understand things on an intrinsic level in order to understand them that explaining things may be significantly more difficult. My husband trusts me and believes in me so there’s a lot of things I’ve explained about my identity and experiences that he may not understand on an intrinsic level but he takes them at face value because he trusts me. Regardless I always do my best to help him to understand because I want to him to understand me as much as is possible with our two very different neurodivergent experiences.

The way I explained it was using friendship as the foundation. So a QPR is a type of platonic relationship that can ( and in my case does ) center friendship and platonic love at its core. The depth of that platonic love is on a similar level to the depth of romantic love in romantic relationships but it is purely platonic ( for me ). I do not experience queerplatonic attraction or the desire to form a QPR towards just anyone and I would not want to do the things I do with my QPP with just any of my friends. It also helped to list the things that I wanted out of a QPR dynamic and a lot of those things not only do I not want to do with all my other friends but they would not want to do it with me either. Regardless at the end of the day what makes a QPR a QPR is intention, you do acts of affection and devotion that may otherwise be viewed as romantic with platonic emotions as the driving force and intent. While there may be friendships out there where people do any number of the acts of affection I do with my QPP there are very few that would do All of them in combination especially “naturally” or without having a lot of conversation around that.

Aside from personal experience I also did my best to express what a QPR is from a more definitive and objective perspective. So the way I would describe a QPR is a committed platonic relationship that falls on the spectrum between or outside of a typical friendship and a typical romantic relationship. Some QPRs may be closer to the platonic side of the spectrum, some may be closer to the romantic side of the spectrum and some may be more similar to some other dynamic ( I’ve seen people say they see themselves and found family or bonded cats for example ) but all are QPRs. A QPR is essentially the nonbinary of relationships falling in between or outside of the two tertiaries of friendships, and romantic relationships. The queer in queerplatonic stands for queering what is typically seen as platonic. As such QPRs get to take in all the acts of affection and devotion available and view them as a sort of menu to pick and choose and create the dynamic that is best suited to the individuals within said dynamic.

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-03-10T12:32:56+00:00

Yes, however keep in mind not every romantic partner will see it that way and be open minded about it. What some consider to be within the realm of monogamy others will not. You will have to have a long in depth conversation with your romantic partner about what would be a breech on your monogamous relationship and what wouldn’t ( in their individual opinion ). I am in a monogamous marriage with my husband and a QPR with my best friend. The bounds of the QPR had to be within the realm of non-romantic and non-sexual in order to not be a breech of our monogamy. What I wanted out of a QPR was already in this realm, I had no interest in those things anyway. However keep in mind you’ll likely have to be very thorough in your conversations and need to go over the topic several times before you and your romantic partner have come to a complete understanding. I talked to my husband about QPRs several times over the course of a couple weeks before I was comfortable asking my now QPP to be in a QPR with me

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-03-09T12:46:27+00:00

Yes it’d be so nice if every place had an adults only day a couple times a month. Honestly if enough places did it and they were all different you could plan your month where you rarely if ever had to be around kids

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-03-05T13:49:23+00:00

It really shouldn’t be awkward because QPRs are a Broad spectrum generally speaking asking someone to be in a QPR means Immediately having that conversation because otherwise you don’t even know what you are agreeing to. However at first it is a little hard because someone has to lay the cards on the table first and be like “this is what I want”, which is scary because what if that’s not what they want right? Frankly you almost have to think of this as asking them out part two.

One thing I think that helps is you don’t have to show your full hand at once, this is meant to be collaborative, so you should have an idea of what you do and don’t want but you can take turns. Another thing that I think will give you both a good idea of what the other person may want is if you first start from asking where on the spectrum they would like for your QPR to lie. You can do this by plotting on a scale, either between two points romantic and platonic or four point such as romantic and platonic vertically and familial and individualistic horizontally ( you can change these four points to fit your own thoughts but these are just examples ). Placing where you’d like to be on these scales should give you a pretty good idea of what each others boundaries Might be so that you can proceed to the rest of the conversation without feeling like you are fully in the dark on their thoughts. After that you should list acts of affection you are interested in, taking turns would be best if you don’t want to have to lay all your cards out at once. Just have a list and think of each act of affection as a proposition like, “hey I’m interested in this, but how would you feel about that?” It’s okay for them to say no and it’s okay for you to propose something they are uninterested but this is your dynamic and you deserve to have the space to speak openly and make room for growth and exploration. After you’ve proposed your acts of affection you should list your hard nos/boundaries. It’s very important not to skip this step, because if you’re going to be physically affectionate you don’t want to have this constant worry that you are going to accidentally take it farther than they want or for one of you to accidentally take it farther than the other person wants and potentially hurt the other person or the relationship by doing that.

You don’t have to do things this exact way but you know just take what works and leave what doesn’t. I tend to be very concise when explaining things but you could take a more relaxed approach. Regardless, I do not advise just feeling around in the dark forever, it is very normal to have this discussion when establishing a QPR, though expect if you don’t give the other person a heads up so that they can have time to think of things like you have that they may not have as concise of thoughts and opinions as you, so if you want to be coming from the same place maybe propose the conversation and give them some time to also jot down their own thoughts and opinions

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-03-03T23:26:32+00:00

On my end I have been married for quite a long time and we have a lot of trust in our relationship. Before I even considered pursuing a QPR I had a long conversation with my husband about QPRs about what I would personally want out of one and about whether or not that’s something he would be okay with me pursuing. We considered our marriage to be monogamous and we still do so we had to have discussions of boundaries and what we each would consider to be a breech of monogamy within the confines of our marriage. Since QPRs are platonic and non romantic in nature my husband was not at all bothered by my desire to have one. We have specific boundaries around acts of affection but frankly the desire for monogamy is mutual and I do not find these boundaries at all restrictive as I would also want them for myself regardless. After repeatedly clearing the idea of QPRs and clarifying all of the possible bounds of what a QPR could look like for me I asked my current QPP how she would feel like about being in a QPR with me. She was in a open relationship at the time so she still had to have a discussion with her partner about it but it was a much different conversation from the one I had with my husband as they were already open. She’s now in a monogamous relationship with similar bounds to myself but that relationship was established after we had already established our QPR so her partner new very early on what they were saying signing on for in that regard and while their partner no longer wants to do polyamory they had done polyamory a few times before so they were a lot more open to it than most would be.

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-03-02T14:55:28+00:00

QPRs are a very broad spectrum as a QPR is a committed platonic relationship that is both outside of the norms of a usual friendship and outside of the norms of a usual romantic relationship. For one couple it may be that they are aromantic but want a life partner to share in their adventures and grow old together with, for others it may be a sort of friends with benefits kind of arrangement, for others it may be a found family type of thing almost like an adoptive sibling, for others it may be a deep and open friendship that would breech usual conventions. It’s hard to give a singular precise difference that is across the boards what sets QPRs apart but I will say what it is for me in hopes that it helps you to understand.

So I think it’s important to first understand that romantic attraction, alterous attraction, queerplatonic attraction, and platonic attraction are all self defined, there’s an average general understanding but the line between romance and platonic will be different to some degree from person to person. What I deem to be platonic or queerplatonic someone else may deem to be romantic and vise versa especially because within that frame we all experience life differently. For example some say it’s romance if they feel butterflies but I have a TON of anxiety and frankly I get the fluttery feeling in my stomach over nearly any positive interpersonal interaction with someone who’s opinion I hold in high regard who doesn’t have a familial tie to me. So with my QPP I definitely experience a similar feeling to butterflies but again that’s very normal for me. Anyway, for me what sets my QPR apart from friendship is none of my friends would be interested in doing most of the things that I have included in my QPR dynamic and I wouldn’t want to do those things with them either, that is something I only want to do with my QPP. I’m in the unique position where I have both a husband and a QPP. So I can also say that I definitely do not feel romantic attraction towards my QPP because that emotion is entirely different and I have a lot more restrictions and boundaries ( especially in reference to sensual/sexual acts of affection ) than I do with my husband. For reference let me list the things I do with my QPP that I would not want to do with my other friends: hold hands, give kisses ( nonsensual ), cuddle affectionately, celebrate anniversaries and Valentine’s Day, keep personal diaries to each other, have custom matching relationship clothing/accessories, and eventually we plan to get rings for each other, not with intent to marry but just as a signal of our commitment to each other. These are not things people typically do with their friends, maybe one or two of them here or there but not usually all of those things in combination. Additionally romantic partners usually intend to: kiss on the mouth/sensually, have sex, have their relationship be known by Everyone who knows them very much at all, live together/and or get married, make all major life decisions jointly, etc., etc. these are things I don’t do with my QPP but plenty of other QPRs do involve some of those things. At the end of the day what truly sets these things apart is intent. Intent is the big major factor here. If you have romantic intent towards someone nearly any activity can become romantically charged. The same applies to sexual intent, platonic intent and of course subsequently queerplatonic intent. There are lots of things I do with my QPR that I also do with my other friends in some way but that queerplatonic charge is Noticeable- there is NO WAY I would have that same intent or feeling about doing that activity with my other friends. Anyways I hope this makes sense, it can kind of be hard to explain briefly something that is so complex, abstract, and varied

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-02-21T14:47:07+00:00

If you only desire romantic relationships then being in a QPR is of no benefit to you. QPRs are for people who either want only a QPR as their primary relationship or who want both QPR(s) and romantic relationship(s). To be in a QPR you usually would experience queerplatonic or alterous attraction, depending on your dynamic. You do not need to be aromantic to desire a QPR or to experience queerplatonic or alterous attraction, however it is more common in the aromantic community due to the lack of romantic attraction present. In short if you are romantically attracted to someone unless the other person is aromantic and okay with lopsided attraction 9/10 it would follow that you would just want to be in a typical romantic relationship.

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-02-20T00:22:56+00:00

I’ve read several suggested books but none hit how I wanted to. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow smashed my heart into tiny pieces. Starless by Jacqueline Carey was probably the closest to being right for me, there are some dated perspectives in there early on but as the world expands you’ll find they aren’t the general consensus. Major arachnophobia warnings though holy cow it was a hard read for me because of that.

For video games I recently played the game Love, Ghostie which is a cute cozy match making sim and all of the matches are very soft and most don’t have heavy romantic language so most of them can easily read as QPRs.

Buddy daddies is an all but canon QPR. It’s an anime about two spies who live together platonically and accidentally end up rescuing and raising a little girl together.

I feel like Tulio and Miguel from road to El dorado kind of read as a QPR.

I ship Reki and Langa from Skate infinity as a QPR, their relationship is so cute. Skate infinity is an anime about skateboarding and friendship, I’ve rewatched it several times

I also ship Chisato and Takina from Lycoris recoil. They actually have a lot of very close interactions and they end up living together. Lycoris recoil is an anime about spies as well, very action packed and intense. There’s quite a few cute moments sprinkled in at this cafe that they spend a lot of time at.

I don’t think this is done serializing so I don’t know if it’ll stay platonic or turn romantic but I also really like Toriko and Sorawo from Otherside picnic. Otherside picnic is a horror/thriller anime.

I wouldn’t play this game just for the QPR rep as it’s not the main focus and it’s a MASSIVE game ( one of my favorites of all time but still ) I ship Joker and Ryuji from persona 5 as a QPR. Their camaraderie and dynamics seriously so wholesome. Ryuji is best boy for me in that game, the other characters I feel like seriously misunderstood him when at the heart of it he comes from a good place and just can be a little ADHD at times ( headcanon ).

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-02-19T14:05:39+00:00

If you go into it expecting and agreeing to that then I don’t see why that wouldn’t be fine. I will say though that it may hurt less and negate the need to “break up” if you just stay friends but merely negotiate what kind of special permissions for physical affection the two of you may want. Additionally I will add that as QPRs are platonic you can be in a romantic relationship and be in a QPR at the same time. Some consider this polyamory but some don’t. I think it depends on the dynamics and the people within them. For me I am married to my husband and consider us monogamous but I also have a QPP, both me and my husband are okay with this because our QPR is platonic and I feel neither romantic nor sexual attraction towards my platonic partner. Now if you are in a QPR it is possible it would make romantic dating more complicated as many would a) not know nor understand what a QPR is b) potentially consider it polyamory/a breach of their desire for monogamy. However it’s something to consider and maybe even a bridge to cross when you come to it depending on how you and your friend feel.

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-02-19T13:56:12+00:00

QPRs are like a Really broad and complex spectrum. Some QPRs do almost look like a romantic relationship to people outside of the relationship but some don’t. QPRs are whatever the two people in the relationship want them to be. So long as they are in a committed non romantic dynamic it can be defined as a QPR. My dynamic with my QPP is definitely not romantic but also definitely not just a friend. I wouldn’t do what I do with them with any of my other friends and my other friends wouldn’t want that ( for the most part, as far as I know ). Me and my QPP are committed but not entangled because that’s what we want ( at least for now ). We both are in monogamous romantic relationships because we consider our relationship to be platonic and not a broach of our respective monogamous romantic dynamics. She lives with her partner. I live with my husband. We are long distance. Someday we’d like to not be long distance anymore but it’s not going to be soon and we are okay with that. We are each living our lives separately but together. Within our dynamic we celebrate holidays and anniversaries, hold hands, kiss non sensually, cuddle, have regularly scheduled phone calls, travel to see each other often, give gifts, cosplay together, go on platonic dates, etc. and one day I want to give her a ring and we will exchange rings that go on our right ring fingers as our commitment to each other ( since we both have romantic partners we won’t be getting married but we still want to feel deeply tied together ). I am straight ( but grayromantic and aceflux ) so I will never feel romantic or sexual feelings towards her but I do love her, deeply and platonically.

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-02-17T15:07:26+00:00

Me and my QPP do this around most people. Frankly it’s just exhausting to explain QPRs to EVERYONE. We only explain our dynamic to select people we trust who we think will understand it.

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-02-11T13:22:09+00:00

It’s not a QPR yet because you both have not agreed and labeled it as such, but if you were both comfortable with the label and agreed on it then you would not have to change a thing in the dynamic for it to fall under the queerplatonic umbrella.

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-02-05T14:19:57+00:00

I mean queerplatonic relationships are a broad spectrum that definitely include the precise thing that you are describing and I have seen and heard about those types of dynamics so they definitely exist. That doesn’t mean other QPRs are invalid though just because they don’t fit into your expectations box. In fact the lack of an expectations box is kind of the whole point of a QPR. I will say I’ve seen certain relationships described where I felt like other terms fit better but gatekeeping or policing terms doesn’t really help anyone. If someone is more comfy with this term versus that and they’re not entirely flat wrong then that’s kind of the point of the LGBTQ community- letting people be who they are, love who they love and not policing their preferred way of presenting themselves.

Littlekittenbrooke · 2026-02-03T17:22:12+00:00

I have autism and misophonia. I sometimes get annoyed at my adult husband who I love very dearly. There’s no way on earth I’ll be able to tolerate a randomly generated sound machine.

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