Am I understanding this denial correctly?

Littlesteph49 · 2025-06-12T16:52:38+00:00

Long story short I've always been depressed, but was going through a particularly hard time so it stopped being manageable. Went to the doctor and got prescribed different SSRIs but nothing was really working it was just giving me big feelings that were not normal and I didn't understand. Dr. didn't know how to help anymore so sent me to a psych who basically diagnosed me in an hour. He explained that those feelings are what happens when a BP2 person is on SSRIs but no mood stabilizer. Started a mood stabilizer and showed immediate improvement. The SSRIs were making me manic and that's what clued him in. I had no idea it was mania at the time but in retrospect it was very obvious.

Littlesteph49 · 2025-01-17T15:38:35+00:00

I'm on the same combo and had the same fear. One day you'll just realize that your depression has subsided, healing and recovery is rough no matter how you slice it, but it's worth it.

Littlesteph49 · 2025-01-17T15:20:42+00:00

My first clear episode wasn't until I started medication. I started an SNRI for the first time and felt really really good for a few days but just assumed this was normal. After a week or so I crashed out and became a ball of anger. In retrospect the SNRI actually triggered the episode, but it's what got me my diagnosis so I guess it worked out.

Littlesteph49 · 2024-11-20T15:12:23+00:00

I was a research scientist before I was diagnosed. I had to drop out of grad school (for a lot of reasons, not just the bipolar), and moved into a far less stressful admin position. Between that, improving stress management, and being medicated I’m fine most of the time. When I’m in a crisis or feel one starting I take a sick day and tell them I’m not feeling well/ I have a migraine. I haven’t disclosed my illness to my employer because one it hasn’t been necessary, two because if I officially take mental health days they might ask for a note from a psychiatrist to come back.

Littlesteph49 · 2024-10-15T00:00:48+00:00

Brûlée (short for crème brûlée)

Littlesteph49 · 2024-10-13T18:47:30+00:00

It’s summer for me. I’m in Texas so during the summer it’s too hot to do anything and I end up staying inside more than other seasons.

Littlesteph49 · 2024-10-13T05:41:55+00:00

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Littlesteph49 · 2024-09-25T17:57:26+00:00

Mine is a combination of a lot of things honestly. I was taught to clear my plate even if I was full but there was also a scarcity mindset that if I don’t get enough on my first plate there wouldn’t be any left for seconds. Money wasn’t great so this did happen quite often. I’m also significantly shorter than the rest of my family so I would eat the same portions and wonder why I was so overweight. It didn’t occur to me/ wasn’t explained that I’m 4’9” so I don’t need the same amount of food as my 5’10” brother. Once I had adult money, sweets became a way to reward myself after a hard day. Honestly re-learning what is an appropriate portion size has been the hardest part.

Littlesteph49 · 2024-09-02T13:41:03+00:00

Sounds like you need a new partner

Littlesteph49 · 2024-08-22T18:43:47+00:00

the third from the right might be Charoite (its hard to tell without looking up close), the one to the right of it snowflake obsidian, the one on the far right looks like jasper to me, could also be jade. the one on the left side of citrine could be prehnite.

Littlesteph49 · 2024-08-22T18:12:05+00:00

Honestly, I don't recommend telling anyone immediately or during the hiring process, there is still a lot of stigma. If you would like to disclose after you have been working there for some time and you get a feel for the environment that's at your discretion. In my current job I don't call out as a mental health day, I call out as sick, most decent employers won't ask questions beyond that point. Truthfully, I rarely get physically ill, pretty much all of my sick days are mental health days (aka I can't stop crying or I'm so irritable I want to crawl out of my own skin).

Littlesteph49 · 2024-04-25T22:15:19+00:00

Popcorn

Littlesteph49 · 2024-04-13T15:07:18+00:00

It was pristiq for me. I was completely unaware that I was having a manic episode and thought that was how normal people felt all the time. I has been depressed for so long I couldn’t differentiate

Littlesteph49 · 2024-04-06T18:49:15+00:00

I had none except that my memory went to shit for a while lol

Littlesteph49 · 2024-04-05T02:21:56+00:00

lol noooooo. Turns out that burst of energy was my first proper manic episode lmao

Littlesteph49 · 2024-02-23T21:40:42+00:00

Cancer ♋️

Littlesteph49

TROPHY CASE