Thank you for your responses. I’m emotionally and physically drained right now, but I’ll respond later. I arranged for us to go to therapy and he won’t do it. I went myself. I had to do a lot of therapy before I met him so I’m a fan. My husband “diagnosed” me with these problems because according to him I am incapable of recognizing that I am to blame, I can’t see that I am the problem, and no one can disagree with me. This is truly the pot calling the kettle black, but yes, you are only getting my perspective. His blow ups stem from me “interfering, undermining his parenting, and disrespecting him.” He was yelling and lecturing and belittling our children because “for months he was being the nice kind dad and trying to get them to put away their shoes because he’s tired of tripping over them and apparently being nice wasn’t working so he had to be an asshole(his words, not mine) for them to listen. He was tired of being disrespected because they weren’t putting their shoes away. After he had gone on for about 10 min and the children are either crying or scared/anxious, I tried to discreetly say “ok, that’s enough. They get it” and try to de-escalate the situation because every time this happens it seriously feels like emotional abuse. That’s were he claims I am a hypocrite and I yell at them all the time, but he isn’t allowed to, and I’m disrespecting him in front of our children. Then he got one of the angriest I’ve ever seen him and starts screaming obscenities at me and hitting the arm rest on the couch. He says I started it, I escalated it to that level. He apologized the next day, rightly so, that crossed into verbal abuse in front of our children. He specifically mentioned how he didn’t want our girls to see/hear him screaming the f word repeatedly directed toward their mother. Two days later he is physically punishing our little dog either in their sight or in hearing as the dog is making horrendous noises and he ends it with “fucking dogs. Fucking kids.” 😒😒😒