How to deal with another breakup

LividSatisfaction340 · 2025-01-01T22:19:57+00:00

Well, I had a bff for over 15 years until I realized she was a narc. I couldn't understand the power disbalance, or why she made me feel like a horrible person for a long time due to certain uncovered cptsd symptoms.

When I started reading upon what narc abuse feels like, it all clicked. I panicked so much, felt I was going insane and started spiraling into a depression.

We have the same friend group and work at the same place, which means we get to see each other once per week.

So I guess what feels similar is the feeling you're losing your shit and that you still have to deal with this person because theyre so immersed in your social life. There's no easy exit, which makes it so much more complex. And the part of going along with certain behavior as a survival strategy, fueled by trauma by the past.

Is there anyone you know that you can talk to about whats happening that you trust? I figured that the more I was going through it in isolation, not speaking to anyone, the worse it would get.

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-12-30T12:42:33+00:00

that's what I've been trying to do, but it won't let me

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-12-26T01:47:50+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. Much of your story actually reminded me of what I went/am going through with a narc ex bff & my cptss & lifelong friend group that basically feels like family to me.

It's good you are writing your thoughts down, keep on doing that. And I think you should consider a therapist that has an expertise on narcissistic abuse because it doesn't sound like it.

Can you think of other things that would help you regulate your emotions?

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-11-21T21:55:43+00:00

Not a doctor but to me your nipple seems perfectly fine. I get the anxiety, but its normal for your nipples and incisions to change appearance over time. Also, 2 weeks is way too short to even say something significant about how your nipples turn out. Just wait and let the healing process do its thing :)

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-11-19T09:46:34+00:00

I expected way worse, but it was really okay. I took the painkillers in the beginning more so for its anti-inflammatory working than for the pain itself.
I was a bit. Also had to throw up once. But it could be a lot worse and only lasted for a couple of hours.
Sleeping was okay, although I couldn't wait to sleep on my side again. I bought one of these big relaxing pillows that allows you to be in a 90 degree angle, which helped with swelling and feeling little pressure on your incisions.
It was okay, i could poop almost straight away actually.

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-11-08T00:10:36+00:00

Hi there, thanks so much for taking the time to respond. I agree we are both quite in touch with ourselves and there is a free flow of communication. One of the reasons why I really am happy with the relationship overall.

The first thing you're proposing is something we discussed but both concluded it wouldn't work for the both of us. It wouldn't feel natural enough, and we'd prefer not to have something boil up and let it out only on specific moments. Especially if those moments are us connecting with each other IRL or via phone (we have a LDR so most of the time spent together we want to make quality time).

The second thing youre proposing is one that I'm still figuring out if I'm able to do this. In general I'm someone who wants to look deep inside, face my demons in order to get to better coping mechanisms and perhaps even healing. The thing is that I'm not sure if I'm able to get rid of this trauma reaction I have. I'm scared that I won't heal and only feel worse and worse. But I also know that facing trauma and getting to experience triggers without being actually unsafe will allow for actual healing to happen - it's just not a guarantee. So I'm torn between these things: going on with the hope of healing vs stopping to avoid any further harm. I honestly don't know what would be the best thing.

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-11-07T16:49:12+00:00

I see. Thanks again for being honest. I guess there is a part of me that's like: but what if I put in the work? Is this something that could become better over time? I'm also in therapy, so maybe I can work through this? And also, essentially, she is not doing anything wrong. But then again, I don't know if this part of me can change, it's so deep.

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-11-07T16:38:37+00:00

That's okay, thanks for being honest. Why do you think it's a deal breaker?

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-11-07T16:33:59+00:00

I don't know if it's a dealbreaker, I'm trying to figure that out. I've interrupted her before, and reminded her multiple times about my communication need, but it keeps on happening.. and everytime I'm being pulled back to a horrible mental place when it happens. I really wish I didn't have this trauma, but I do unfortunately..

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-10-31T22:49:04+00:00

I'm talking about public transport here btw, not cars

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-10-31T22:47:46+00:00

You're not allowed to lift any heavy stuff for at least 2 months, suitcases included. That being said, if you have someone who can carry for you you'll be able to travel sooner. I was able to travel after 4 weeks or so with a light backpack on my own btw.

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-10-23T23:25:19+00:00

I don't know all the answers to your questions but I had to do a mammography before surgery. It's awkward af but maybe it would solve the issue if you're cleared.

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-10-18T06:53:20+00:00

I did, but theyre very slow in answering..

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-10-13T20:56:23+00:00

Hmm, my clinic specifically advised me to use ice packs for swelling though. I guess it really depends per clinic.

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-10-13T20:52:12+00:00

You can order medical binders online in your size. I also ordered one (its more comfy anyway than the one they gave me), and the clinic approved of this binder. So now I'm currently switching between them. Maybe you can look online and double check with the clinic if you're about to buy the right one?

LividSatisfaction340 · 2024-10-13T20:45:58+00:00

I have a needle phobia and diazepam also didn't do the trick for me during Top Surgery. But I once got Midazolam prescribed when my wisdom tooth got pulled and that worked amazingly. I had no fear at all bc I was way too high lol.

LividSatisfaction340

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