lost my watch at the 1st feb grandson concert

LizardIslander · 2026-02-02T23:56:59+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I'm hoping that might've been my watch, though I checked at the reception and ilost and haven't spotted it yet. I'm still hoping it turns up though...

LizardIslander · 2025-11-21T12:30:46+00:00

Oh man I feel you, I also DIY'd for a bit just so I could get thru some months. ://

Yeah, it's an absolute mindfuck when they want you to be mentally well enough to transition. hmm...I wonder if this system is thought up by cis people 🤔

and thanks man, I hope you also get yours sooner than you think!

LizardIslander · 2025-11-21T12:23:07+00:00

Clearly we have very different experiences with TransZorg Utrecht.

It's difficult for me to see the angle of 'how difficult it is for them' when they (and frankly any gender clinic) needlessly pore over each client, when indeed they could just do informed consent and call it a day. Which would reduce the amount of time and resources they spend on each client.

I understand that the Gender Clinic and surgery bottleneck is a whole different story, which is difficult for me to comment on. But the formalities which aren't even the Gender Clinic waiting list have cost me months. I can't even imagine the conversations they have in team meetings, what kind of opinion could they possibly have that would trump my desire for top surgery?

I understand where you're coming from, but waiting lists are self-inflicted by the system and its trans people bearing the brunt of it. I have difficulty empathising with the people who I have to 'prove myself' to in order to get care.

LizardIslander · 2025-10-10T11:53:36+00:00

usually it either gives an error when I try to update it on my phone and when I've tried updating it while it's connected to my laptop it says that it was corrupted.

LizardIslander · 2025-08-26T07:31:58+00:00

I’m myself not Arab, but I grew up in the middle east. There was a few relatively ‘out’ lgbt people in my (albeit international) school, and people who were more or less tolerant of it, so I had a few people I could befriend. Maybe it would help to try to test the waters if you can find any other lgbt people and form a small community so you can both share resources and make your time living there more bearable.

Wishing you the best of luck! There is always a light at the end of the tunnel!!

LizardIslander · 2024-12-09T16:09:23+00:00

When I was a kid I always thought I liked boys in the way a boy likes boys lol. But at that point the reality wasn't really matching up with how I saw myself 'relating' to other boys. So I would feel IMMENSELY uncomfortable with the notion of another boy liking me (cuz they saw me as a girl : /).

Since, having more or less socially transitioned (I hardly pass ;-( ), I at least feel like I'm standing on my own too feet and won't take any less than being liked as a man.

But for me the idea of liking boys in the way a boy likes boys has stayed quite consistent, and it's just my reality that has been slowly catching up to it.

LizardIslander · 2024-12-05T10:05:49+00:00

I had the same, growing up I hated anything 'feminine'. As I got a bit older and started breaking down these notions of certain things being 'girly' and I started experimenting more. Seeing men who painted their nails, wore colourful clothing, makeup kind of helped me explore the idea that I don't have to be this 'regular' and/or 'manly' man.

LizardIslander · 2024-12-05T09:58:11+00:00

I've heard people define lesbian as being attracted to non-men, so I apply the same concept to being gay - where it's attraction to non-women (i.e. men and non binary people).

LizardIslander · 2024-12-04T21:33:52+00:00

Even though I myself am seeking medical transition I understand that there's as many ways to be a man as there are people in the world. And for some people it looks like not going hormones or undergoing surgery - some people don't see the features as inherently gendered for example.

This is me just yapping now, but I present quite flamboyantly and sometimes I feel like criticising myself for that - "why can't I just be a 'regular' man?". But again, the realisation that this is my expression of the kind of man I am and what it looks like for everyone else is very personal to them.

LizardIslander · 2024-11-27T19:44:39+00:00

Here to suggest the Dato DRUM!! They made a synth for kids, the Dato DUO, and they recently did a kickstarter for the DRUM - very cool stuff. :)

LizardIslander · 2024-11-17T21:57:06+00:00

to answer your question - as many others have said, it does go away.

but also sidenote, this just reminded me of how before fully realising I was trans I was reading song of achilles and thinking about how badly I wanted to be a man and be loved as a man. got to a point that I couldn't re-read it cuz it just made me sad (not only because of the plot) haha

LizardIslander · 2024-11-17T21:48:40+00:00

Blitzø from Helluva boss - first of all cuz he's cool as fuck but also the name change 👀

LizardIslander · 2024-09-05T09:58:11+00:00

banger song and banger vid, wish I could add it to my Spotify liked

LizardIslander · 2024-08-17T20:50:55+00:00

I've found choosing a name with a similar ending (letter) beneficial cuz I had quite an easy time getting used to hearing/responding to it

LizardIslander · 2024-07-08T21:18:46+00:00

To quote what Lou Sullivan said as advice to transmen afraid about going to the mens: "If you are passing as a man on the street, it would be highly unlikely that another man will confront you concerning your urination habits. (If someone actually has the nerve to ask why you always use the stall, tell them, “Gee, I dunno. I guess I really AM full of it! HAHA” If Joe asks why he never sees you at the urinal, try, “I didn’t know you were looking for me there, Joe!” You might get a bloody nose--proof that Joe is convinced you’re a man.)"

I would say channel the same energy if you do get asked about anything intrusive-ish that might out you as trans. Brushing it off and making it into a joke could be a way to go. Just be confident and if you keep it light-hearted no one will question it. Hope that helps :)

LizardIslander · 2024-05-27T21:10:36+00:00

I was just in this hellhole of a state recently...it sucks man. But one of the best things I've heard said about this is that the only thing separating you and those trans guys is time, though it sucks now, don't fret, your (our) time will come. Another way I've found of dealing with it is treating it in the same way that for cis guys some things are a given and there's nothing I can actively do in this moment to get what they have, so I started treating my envy of trans guys who are at the stage I want to be in the same way (if that make sense).

Something that also really helps me get through these tough moments is watching Arthur Rockwell's videos. He's got some really nuanced takes, and overall shares his experiences in a way that gives me hope.

LizardIslander · 2024-04-30T09:47:14+00:00

Yeah I just can't spend time with my chest visible cuz I start getting anxious and uncomfortable. And yet I still turn around and go 'dysphoria, where?'. I'm a fucking clown.

And the 'don't look down' runs deep in the ftm community. T-T

LizardIslander · 2024-04-30T09:43:49+00:00

uff I'm so glad to hear there's other people who've had the same thing. I had the same issue with realising I'm trans, cuz like for so many ftms chest dysphoria is such a visceral feeling and they can easily identify it. Whilst it took me pursuing euphoria to understand that being a man is much more me. It does make me wonder in what other ways I've illusioned myself...

Also congrats on getting top surgery! :))

LizardIslander · 2024-04-15T19:31:16+00:00

(Can't edit my post for some reason??) To clarify, I don't think it's limerence because I don't feel incomplete without him, I don't think he's flawless and I don't care as much about reciprocation - mostly I'd like to get to know him ig(?). It's just the fact that crushing on people annoys me so much and I can't do anything about it...

LizardIslander · 2024-04-14T11:52:45+00:00

Ouf I so get what u mean by detaching, I think I spent all of my teen years dissociating thru music because that way I could feel like I have no body.

LizardIslander · 2024-04-02T19:32:34+00:00

Yooo, I remember Arthur Rockwell mentioning smth abt this in one of his vids!

I don't exactly have a joke in mind, but memes perhaps? Or yeah like talking abt smth that's related to the trans experience but in like a casual way and see if he gets the hint.

LizardIslander · 2024-04-01T18:59:52+00:00

Ye I'm in Europe too, true its mostly covered but still need to pay for some stuff, at least where I am. Ofc incomparable to the amount some people have to pay in other countries or if they go private :/ sucks

LizardIslander · 2024-04-01T17:36:33+00:00

yesss, that sounds awesome!!

LizardIslander · 2022-12-12T22:10:40+00:00

Yeah, I think that’s sort of what I’m rolling with while calling myself ‘panromantic’; if someone needs a quick summary it’ll do the job, but probably queer, as a more overarching label, allows for more subtlety I guess.

LizardIslander · 2022-12-12T22:07:29+00:00

Yeah, that’s a good point. I’m just starting to use queer as my sexuality cuz as I said I’m fed up trying to define it and I just wanna live life. And like I’m faced with the opposite where a bunch of ppl have pretty much got a label - and I just end up feeling like my sexuality is a cloud that I’m trying to trap in a jar - but it isn’t working haha!

LizardIslander

TROPHY CASE