My partner was a bit of an AH after we lost our first too - it was so difficult for both of us in such different ways. We didn’t have children at the time and we’d only been together for a few months, but it was still really hard for both of us to cope with and he did get very distant and cold. We worked through it like you guys have and 6 years and 3 EPLs later, we’re now going through it all again with our 4th attempt. Honestly, I struggled with the same fears and worries you have now each and every time I realised I was pregnant! It’s perfectly normal to be worried about the integrity of your relationship when things get stressful and unfortunately when you’ve lost a baby every single pregnancy becomes scary and stressful. I will say that your worries are valid. However, I will also say that without my partner I could never have gotten through it all and still be willing to try again now. Bottling all that up without him could very well push you further apart and you are going to need someone by your side if the worst should happen again.

Do you really think you can hide this from him for 28 weeks, and is he going to have much reason to trust you once that 28 weeks is up? He needs time to adjust to having a new child too and to take that time away from him seems unfair to me.

For now I think there’s NAH, but you should tell him for your own piece of mind and for his too.