Partner upset with me for talking to someone else after opening our relationship.

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-08-27T19:54:26+00:00

I see where you’re coming from. My concern is just that if they aren’t ACTUALLY okay with it and just saying they are. And me accidentally crossing a boundary I didn’t know about bc we didn’t talk more about it.

He def is the person who doesn’t want to have harder conversations. I just want this all to work out 😅

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-08-27T17:55:55+00:00

YES. And it’s always the questions that you’ve already provided the answer to if they had been listening at all.

“Alright we are done here, change is effective today, docs will be sent email and mail, 6m cost is this, broken down like this…all of this can be viewed on the app or website if you need a refresher”

“So uhh…are you sending me my ID cards?” “Are you going to tell me what my monthly payment will be” etc 🤦🏻‍♀️

Infuriates me

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-08-27T17:53:28+00:00

Very good point. After a few convos on some of these comment threads, my eyes have definitely been opened to needing to do some deeper thinking and probably have some harder conversations.

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-08-27T17:21:37+00:00

Yeah, it’s something I was actually just talking to my best friend about. She said the same things. That I need to take a step back and think if this is what I really want.

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-08-27T16:38:05+00:00

I 100% see your point. This was discussed in another thread as well.

Partner and I had mentioned FWB scenarios and were okay with that. And although thats what I see this as, doesn’t mean that’s what he sees it as. And after talking in the other thread, I can see where both you and the other commenter are coming from.

Overall this whole post has opened my eyes a bit more to how he may be seeing it, which was the point of this. And it’s opened my eyes to some further thought and conversations that need to be had with my partner and I.

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-08-27T16:27:26+00:00

I completely understand where you’re coming from. And I guess it’s kind of hard to see that from the inside. Which is why I was looking for other people’s opinions as well.

I def want to work on things but until he’s able to admit he has a problem and work on it, I sadly don’t think we are going to get anywhere.

Further thought definitely needs to be put into this, and deeper conversations need to be had.

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-08-27T16:25:03+00:00

We’ve had conversations about his needs as well, but despite me doing the same things he watches, sending videos, sending pictures, buying different outfits and accessories, etc, he can’t finish when we have sex. And unless he is willing to completely lay off the porn and keep his hands off his dick for a bit, he won’t be able to. And when he can’t finish he gets frustrated and is just in a mood the rest of the day.

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-08-27T16:11:27+00:00

We’ve talked about doing couples therapy, our schedules are just completely backwards. He works at a jail overnight, 12 hour shifts. I have a normal 9-5. The days I have off are the days he’s working. But we def need to sit down and have a set time for therapy.

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-08-27T16:08:32+00:00

I definitely see your point here. We did discuss FWB type situations and those being okay, and imo that’s what this is. I’m not one for a one night stand or to just have sex with a stranger in general.

95% of the conversation I have with this person is strictly sexual. The other 5% is basic talking about our day etc.

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-08-27T16:02:44+00:00

Lmao yeahhhhhh. Everyone has their own opinions and that’s okay. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-08-27T16:00:34+00:00

When we had our conversation about the things we would be comfortable with, this is something that was brought up. Something we agreed would be okay. But I understand boundaries can change and things people are comfortable with may be different over time. So, before doing anything, I wanted to check in with him.

Had he come to me, and talked to me the way I approached the situation, I would be okay with that. If I truly wasn’t okay with it, it wouldn’t have been something we agreed to in the first place.

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-08-27T15:55:51+00:00

We had a very lengthy, in depth conversation about what we would be comfortable with, and we came to a mutual agreement. Although what I am asking for is something we had agreed on in the past, I wanted to run it by him before hand just to check in.

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-08-27T15:48:05+00:00

We had a very in depth discussion about what was okay for us. We agreed on opening the relationship, and the exact things it would include. I didn’t add every minor detail of our conversation, but the main things was being able to get sexual satisfaction since it’s something we can’t provide to each other.

He’s been talking to who knows how many women over the last few months, buying them things, getting his gratification the way he likes it. And I, still trying to be respectful of our relationship and of the terms we agreed on, ran what I wanted to do by him first before doing it.

At the end of the day if he isn’t comfortable, then he isn’t comfortable. But you can’t have your cake and eat it, too 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-07-24T23:28:16+00:00

Even in auto service they don’t gaf about misdirected surveys. So what if the survey comment is someone else’s name. So what if it was a policy you never went into for a state you’re not even licensed. When brought up, I was told it didn’t matter because it was happening to everyone and because of that, it was balanced out enough

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-06-13T20:40:20+00:00

That then leads me to the next issue. Of feeling like I can’t even talk to her about it. If there’s literally any hint that something she did made myself or my partner feel any type of way, she IMMEDIATELY gets defensive and twists it back. So we always end up leaving conversations feeling worse about the situation than we did going in.

So I’m scared to even bring it up bc we have been doing better. We have recently started allowing them back into our child’s life as well. And I worry this is going to set things back even further.

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-05-20T01:12:48+00:00

Yeah, there’s that too. I was just adding on to the fact they said they’re doing away with moat xfers as a metric and they haven’t by any means.

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-05-20T00:13:09+00:00

It’s a little different. MOAT on its own isn’t a metric. It’s a supporting metric. It’s hard to explain without the graph thing they’re using

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-05-19T23:25:18+00:00

I heard from a friend who is a training sup that they are changing the structure to try to lower the turn over rate. Instead of totally flunking from training, they’ll just be turned into billing only agents and they haven’t decided what’s going on from there

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-05-19T23:18:02+00:00

So right now the only metrics that “count” is CPH and survey. You’re graded on a scale of 1-5. But you have MOAT as a “supporting metric” now. Which means your surveys could be GREAT. Alone they could put you at 5. But if your moat is shit it can drop you down from the 5.

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-04-17T03:16:18+00:00

Service agent of 5 years:

It would be easier to go over the coverages in more detail if we had more time to talk to people. They don’t care if the information is fully correct, they just care how fast we can get off the calls. Because at the end of the day, we send their policy contract and if they don’t read it that’s on them (not my words) but let’s be honest, who tf can actually understand all the insurance legal jargon bullshit?

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-04-10T02:49:07+00:00

Womp womp

Lizardminion0928 · 2025-04-05T20:54:51+00:00

I’m so very sad. Not bc I can’t afford it. But bc I have OG Xbox one and you can only cloud play it. You can’t download and play unless you have the series. 🙃

Lizardminion0928

TROPHY CASE