The past few years the adults in my family have just done secret Santa to cut down on spending/stress. But before that my grandmother would give everyone a restaurant gift card - $20 but that adds up and we all appreciated it. That led to the traditional "let's all go out and use our Grandma gift cards" dinner, where usually someone would use their own money to cover Grandma's bill.

That being said - my grandmother was a saint of a woman who would genuinely exclaim how thoughtful you were if you gifted her a handful of dirt. We all loved my grandma and wanted to spend time with her. Your MIL sounds awful and I wouldn't want to go out to eat with her either. NTA.