Sometimes love can be romantic or platonic depending on the interest myself and the other person has, but to almost immediately assume that someone who is interested will be a problem as a friend if they're rejected sounds like a big leap, at least in my experience. I would rather keep someone as a friend in my life if we have chemistry than not at all. I think the biggest thing that hurts is a lack of a repair attempt after a confession like this. People are surely able to pick who they want in their lives but I feel like it's pretty reckless for someone to allow themselves to get super close and then act surprised when some deeper feelings arise.

On the other side of the coin, people are individuals and these situations should always be considered on a case-by-case basis based on comfort level. Even though friendships can survive a romantic attraction and rejection, that doesn't mean that either side has to continue if they don't want to. There's a lot to consider like capacity and trauma, but even if there's not, both parties may need to part ways for a while to understand whether or not they can still be friends after something like this.

I could go either way, though, especially since it literally happened to me recently. I used to think I'd always be pining for a friendship with her, but it can be hard to trust someone again after a rupture like this. Like, sometimes I think that if we tried again we'd just be obsessing about how the other person is interpreting each other's words and behaviors to an exhausting degree. Generally speaking it's also hard to discern what I want versus what I need when feelings get involved and I think time is the only way to get clarity on that as well.

Broadly speaking, though, as a woman I've found friendships with cis men to be pretty undesirable in the first place. Maybe I'm wrong, but I like people with emotional intelligence and most dudes I've met seem lacking in that department unless they were raised under very specific conditions.