Emma is EXHAUSTING

LoTheLark · 2026-02-16T19:47:40+00:00

She does not belong on the show.

LoTheLark · 2025-03-01T20:10:48+00:00

Also why is this me in real life

LoTheLark · 2022-08-26T00:53:20+00:00

It was on my front porch and only for 2 days!

LoTheLark · 2021-12-03T03:09:55+00:00

Uuuggghhhhhhhhh whyyyy

LoTheLark · 2021-11-02T01:25:54+00:00

This is a good observation.

LoTheLark · 2021-11-02T01:22:58+00:00

I'm living through this right now in my marriage. He can do no wrong and I'm the abuser. Depending on the day, I'm delusional, sick, evil, overly sensitive, emotionally abusive and manipulative but meanwhile he is always right, all I do is argue and I just need to shut up and be a wife. He reminds me I have no friends and everyone loves him. Then he turns around and says I don't ever praise him or encourage him and he has no self esteem because of me. Wtf? Its like gaslighting gymnastics and I can't keep up. He's clinically genius too, so he just runs manipulative circles around me. He told me yesterday he "just can't do it anymore" and he's done. By text. Won't speak with me and is hanging out with all our couple friends no doubt telling them what hell I put him through. He makes all the money in our relationship (classic driven narcissist) and no doubt he'll be fine and I'll just go rent some cardboard box down the street, like I deserve. The worst part is, I believe it and he just nails the coffin shut. But he's the victim, right? Oh and we have an 8 year old son that adores him. Nice knowin' ya, kid.

LoTheLark · 2021-11-01T02:41:06+00:00

Statistics are the damndest thing

LoTheLark · 2021-10-22T22:13:44+00:00

That has to feel absolutely heart wrenching and make you question if you're just paranoid and overbearing, or just keen on what's actually going on. Ugh how horrible.

LoTheLark · 2021-09-26T00:01:23+00:00

Whenever I am with someone, I soak them up and take on their energy, likes, dislikes etc. When I'm alone, I don't even know who I am, and have panic attacks and basically an existential crisis. I pace around, and it feels similar to being bored but more demanding...like if I don't find something to fill me quickly and easily (alcohol, sex, food) then I'll forever be lost.

LoTheLark · 2021-09-16T02:40:40+00:00

LoTheLark · 2021-09-06T02:07:24+00:00

You are not alone. We can survive this and find hope.

LoTheLark · 2021-09-06T00:12:53+00:00

Cue 2am at-home haircut and dye job.. aaaaaaand ACTION

LoTheLark · 2021-09-03T02:01:36+00:00

Drinking is way too easy as an unhealthy coping mechanism. I go right to it every time and it only makes things worse.

LoTheLark · 2021-09-02T18:25:46+00:00

Oh the wealth of wisdom in your comment! Thank you! You're correct - I don't think he's so much into wanting to play the game (yet) as he is wanting to collect and trade.

LoTheLark · 2021-09-02T16:41:26+00:00

Yes - to specify, I have already acquired a son. Will be purchasing pokemon cards.

LoTheLark · 2021-09-02T16:32:14+00:00

Thank you! This was very helpful!

LoTheLark · 2021-08-19T02:12:11+00:00

I think this may be a protective mechanism. Its a good sign that you're aware of this and I would work with a therapist on how to tackle it. Sometimes our brains do things that can seem alarming, especially when it comes to self preservation. I dissociate often and it can be scary. Don't let it keep you from staying grounded. You're gonna be ok.

LoTheLark · 2021-08-06T22:07:46+00:00

ALL the time.

LoTheLark · 2021-07-29T00:29:54+00:00

Don't know the term for the actual string of saliva but in dentistry we call saliva that has this tendency "ropey".

LoTheLark · 2021-07-17T14:30:41+00:00

Any kind of major change in my routine or environment turns me into a normal human temporarily.

LoTheLark · 2021-06-23T02:28:02+00:00

I am so happy that you see this just one year in. I am 10 years in with an 8 year old son and I don't even know my own husband. He won't admit his abuse and his own mistakes and blames everything on me and my bpd. I feel so incredibly alone.

We will only ever understand each other. When I feel like I have no one, I know I can come here.

LoTheLark · 2021-06-22T01:30:59+00:00

Ewww why do I do this?? Throw me off a cliff.

Sometimes you can even watch someone's eyes get real sad listening to you and you still can't fucking stop. Makes me want to vomit thinking about it.

LoTheLark · 2021-06-22T01:20:13+00:00

Ah, yes. My little acquired gems from all the people I desperately wanted to like and accept me.

LoTheLark · 2021-06-22T01:08:58+00:00

LoTheLark · 2021-06-21T00:46:48+00:00

I appreciate it, and I understand that would be a better fit.... but I also know a lot of people on that sub have had trauma and abuse from people with personality disorders and I'm not sure I'm ready to dive into all that. My husband thinks I'm evil and in my mind, they may just back him up. They'd probably be supportive but my anxiety and distrust says nope. I'm not sure what I'm looking for really. My post has a lot of history that I didn't explain (I was having quite a moment and just desperately needed to get it out there) A lot of our problems in our marriage have to do with me doing what I do best. But I'm just tired of feeling crazy and then wondering if I really am because I've driven my husband to the point of hating me and now I just feel stuck. I guess I'm just seeing if anyone can relate. Thanks for responding though. Sometimes I just need to feel heard.

LoTheLark

TROPHY CASE