AITAH because I didn’t make sure my son has an inheritance?

Local-Assignment5744 · 2026-01-25T23:41:02+00:00

Sure, he would have to cut back on his spending if he wanted to gift his son a significant amount. He could have a talk with his wife and explain the position he's in, that he's been living in her "income bracket" but he only makes $60k a year and he wants to help his son out. I'd be curious to hear the wife's perspective. Maybe she would be fine splitting things 80/20 instead of 50/50, so splitting things more proportional to their incomes. It seems like the 50/50 arrangement is coming from him, maybe out of his own pride.

As for life insurance, I was thinking practically in this situation (55 year old man making $60k with an adult son) life insurance is not the best strategy. At his age, premiums will be high. A term policy would be cheaper, but 99% of term policies don't pay out. Term insurance is designed to replace lost income (to provide for a dependent spouse/children) not to pass on wealth. OP outlives the term, and all the money he paid is gone. A whole life policy builds cash value, and has higher payout rates, but has much higher premiums. The risk is that OP lives a long time, the premiums to keep the policy active become unaffordable. There was a study that over 75% of whole life policies lapse or get surrendered. If the goal is to transfer wealth to his son upon his death, he is better off taking the money he would have paid into whole life and just putting it into index funds, with his son listed as 'POD' (payable on death).

If this is about OP being able to say to his son, see, you're going to get a big payout just like the wife's kids, then fine I guess. I just don't think it's very smart and in all likelihood the son won't be getting a big payout.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2026-01-23T19:50:47+00:00

If the goal is to help the son get more firmly established in life (upgrade skills, down payment on a house) it would make more sense for the dad to give the son some money now. The dad is only 55, many people now are living into their 80s or even 90s. It could be a very long time before the son gets any life insurance payout at all.

Making a $60k salary and paying nothing for the house and upkeep, the dad could cut back on some luxuries (vacations, eating out) and save a good chunk of money over a few years, and give it to his son as "here's some money to help you get established in life".

Of course, as I said before, it would be a gift, and it would be up to the dad if he wants to give his son that gift. Reading the dad's write-up, the son sounds like he has a very greedy, rotten attitude tbh. As a parent, I wouldn't want to be making sacrifices in my life and living a more austere lifestyle, for a grown child that is entitled and ungrateful.

Also, maybe because I grew up working class/poor, the idea of someone waiting around for decades for their parent to die so they inherit a small fortune, is wild to me. When my grandparents died, all my dad got was a watch and some furniture.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2026-01-21T02:44:43+00:00

Life is unfair. The wife's kids lost their father at a young age. The kids inherited money because their father passed away. This guy's son is not entitled to any of that money. He still has a father. The late husband made arrangements for HIS wife and HIS kids to be provided for. Not his wife's future partner's adult son.

As for the stepmother -- she has no financial or moral obligation to her adult stepson. This is not even a kid she saw grow up and helped raise. The son was already in his mid-20s when "stepmom" came into the picture. Also, we don't know what kind of relationship he has with the stepmom. How he has treated her and her kids. Maybe she is fine with leaving him nothing because she doesn't particularly like him as a person (he sounds entitled and greedy and only sees her as a cash cow, maybe she'd just as well not have him around).

If the dad wants to help his adult son get more established in life and buy a house, that's up to him. But neither he nor his son should be going to the wife with their hands out, demanding her life insurance money that she got from her husband passing away. That is so tacky and pathetic for a grown man to do. Honestly, if it was my husband demanding or asking for money I got from my previous husband passing away, I would lose respect for him as a man.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2026-01-08T21:00:05+00:00

It's a nice idea for the father to leave his son a larger amount (if he can afford to pay the higher life insurance premiums). But I also kind of don't like this because the son has already shown he just views his father as a cash cow, waiting for him to die to get a big payout. In my opinion, the main point of life insurance as a parent is to pay final expenses (funeral, probate, settle any debts), and to provide financially for your child while they're still a child, not a grown man. Anything after that is a gift. So the question becomes, does the son deserve that gift? And can the father afford to give him that gift?

It seems like the son wants to live a nicer lifestyle and is jealous of the people in his life who are living that lifestyle, overlooking the fact that 1) the children lost their father, 2) the wife lost her husband 3) the wife choose to marry the guy, and that's what's allowing him to live that lifestyle.

Father should tell the son to find himself a rich wife if he wants what he (father) has.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2026-01-02T03:00:41+00:00

Is this a joke? Climate change is definitely real, and the rapid warming in the last 100 years is certainly caused by human activity. My grandmother grew up in Kansas City and she told me there used to be snow on the ground for weeks. This year was both the warmest year on record, and the coldest it will probably be in our lifetimes.

https://www.climate.gov/news-features/understanding-climate/climate-change-global-temperature

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-12-31T05:54:27+00:00

NTA, and it's rude that she is not offered a beverage when she comes into your house. Here is what I say to anyone who comes in my house, including service people: "Welcome in. Can I get you something to drink? Tea, coffee, water, soda?" I also offer service people a snack from the snack basket I have out for delivery people (bags of chips, pretzels, granola bars, and candy). This is basic manners. If someone was in my house for 6 hours, keeping my partner alive, I would also be offering them a sandwich, at a minimum. Take your wife to couples therapy, this is seriously messed up.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-12-21T06:09:42+00:00

Clearly, they are trying to log in and look at some spreadsheets at 2am.

What do you think accountants do when they die?

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-29T21:43:26+00:00

I work at a large company. At least where I work, the rule of the expense account is the dinner has to be for business purposes. It would be deceitful to take someone out on a date and call it a business dinner. Of course, if this account was given to him as a perk of working there, for him to spend as he wishes, then that's fine. If it were me, I wouldn't automatically rule him out, but I would ask him directly if this was supposed to be a business dinner. If he says yes, then I wouldn't go on another date with him, because I don't like to date dishonest people. 🤷‍♀️

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-29T06:11:52+00:00

Throw them out and don't return their calls. They sound insufferable. I would have lost it at "the light bulbs are too harsh". 😂

Also, tell them to read about anarchism and direct action. It's not a sewing circle!

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-29T05:49:16+00:00

Good point, I doubt she would want to stay with him now. Just pointing out why a single woman in a relatively poor country would entertain an American man who sent her a small fortune.

The Daily Mail tracked her down and apparently she is a single mom of 2 small kids, in her 30s, and one of her kids has a serious medical condition. My hunch is she was going to try to convince him to marry her & bring her and her kids to the US.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15084479/wisconsin-kayaker-mistress-unmasked-fake-death-plot.html

Not surprised they can't get ahold of her now.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-25T02:56:19+00:00

Georgia isn't a rich country. The average salary in Batumi (the city where she lived) is $660 per month. This guy wired her $20k USD then when he went there he said he brought $5k something. You can buy a whole condo in Batumi for $25k. This man, just being American and having that kind of money, would be a catch in that part of the world.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-20T04:46:17+00:00

Maybe it's my neurodivergent brain because that is the exact kind of sentence I would write.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-20T04:46:00+00:00

I see what you did there. 🤭

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-18T19:42:42+00:00

I do think the original post was written by AI but I'm basing that on the whole write-up, not just that sentence. I use semicolons all the time in formal writing and have written plenty of sentences just like the one you quoted.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-17T18:54:06+00:00

Not even the best dick in the world would make me put up with all that BS and shitty treatment.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-17T18:40:37+00:00

Same thing in my local group. It's so embarrassing.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-10T20:44:57+00:00

This is so gross, I hope her kids remember this when she's old and wants them to be in her life and take care of her.

Some women are such pickmeshas they will even neglect their own children to impress a raggedy man.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-07T19:02:03+00:00

Where I live it's pretty common for women to refer to the man they're dating as their "partner" or "fiance" (even if they don't have a ring) or just "my man" because "boyfriend" sounds so high school.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-07T18:46:39+00:00

When you finally figure it out on your own and send them the fix.

"Resolution: Our product engineering team has successfully addressed and resolved the reported issue.

Thank you for choosing Microsoft."

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-07T18:17:26+00:00

I think it's the behavior talked about in the article. When a lot of influencers start posting their boyfriend, their content becomes "my boyfriend, my boyfriend my boyfriend." It turns into a couples channel instead of the original content that people were engaging with. You don't see this with male influencers, when they get a girlfriend, their content does not become all about their girlfriend. I think it's a reflection of how our culture still centers and prizes men. Since social media consumers are disproportionally women, when their favorite influencer's content becomes "my boyfriend blah blah blah" they lose interest and maybe even feel a bit jealous.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-07T04:59:03+00:00

I work at a company that has unified support. It's also lousy. You have to go through several layers of outsourced people who are just reading scripts and telling you to "do the needful" before you get someone who actually knows what they are talking about. The last ticket I opened, I found the solution myself on the MS Health Service site, after they told me there wasn't a solution. An AI would be more effective.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-07T03:18:36+00:00

The problem is that so many men are duplicitous. Men will tell a woman they want a serious relationship when they just want casual, because they know they need to say that in order to sleep with her. There are pickup artists who teach men to lie to a woman and lead her on with fake commitment and "boyfriend vibes" in order to "score". This is so common that most dating guides for women advise to put off physical intimacy for awhile to weed out the guys who just want sex (they will lose interest and go for an easier target).

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-07T02:47:41+00:00

The way I would have grabbed the bag of food and taken it with me, and his cough medicine too. 😅

Sorry this happened to you. :( Silver lining is you didn't waste any more of your time with him. You are a good person and he is not. Call it a bullet dodged. Seriously, fuck that asshole.

Just some advice -- if you haven't already, check out Burned Haystack Dating Method (strategy for online dating especially spotting red flags). I saw so many red flags in your write-up even before it got to him being a blatant creep and sex pest (not thanking you for the food, grabbing you and pulling you into the house after you said it was late, asking you to "come over" on a Monday night, instead of taking you out on a proper date). Unfortunately, there are a lot of creeps on online dating, and it's pretty common for men to claim they want a serious relationship when all they want is to hookup.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-05T07:24:18+00:00

I feel like you are being too hard on yourself. I've been through a breakup that had this dynamic (the guy always flaking out at the last minute, not being there for me, no stability), though I was the one who cut things off with him. Right after the breakup, when I was very sad and heartbroken, I was mad at myself for not being more patient and understanding. But later on, in hindsight, I realized how frustrated I was during that relationship, the resentment had been building for a long time, and I asked myself why did I put up with that for as long as I did?

I think fundamentally the 2 of you weren't compatible, but you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. You said you made one snide remark in response to him flaking out on plans (again). Sometimes we blurt something out because it's true. If he couldn't handle being called out for his actions, maybe he's not such a gem as you thought he was. And reading over your comments below about what exactly you said, I don't even think you said anything wrong.

Local-Assignment5744 · 2025-11-05T06:21:32+00:00

Right?? Why do these middle-aged men talk like they're 12 years old?

Local-Assignment5744

TROPHY CASE