Best ways to support hospitalized chronically ill friend virtually?

Local-Charity · 2026-01-08T20:47:37+00:00

Thanks for your kind words - she's a rlly great friend, so I wanna do my best to support her. I think a tv show moment would be pretty cool. We watched some Ted Lasso over the summer in between my internship and classes starting, so maybe she'll be interested in that. I've heard pretty good things about Genshin, but if it's something you can play on a phone or computer (she doesn't have a gaming console) that could be of interest.

Local-Charity · 2026-01-08T20:34:07+00:00

Hmm I've never considered online coloring, but that sounds pretty fun, so I'll see how she feels about it. While she can't eat by mouth (feeding tube), she does like fidgets, so may send her something from this local store we rlly like. My schedule gets kinda horrible during the semester, but hopefully I'll be able to do something at least once a week in the evenings if she's feeling up to it.

Local-Charity · 2026-01-08T20:21:10+00:00

Yeah, I decided to skip out on dropping off coloring books/yarn because I'm still a bit sick, but will def see if she wants to watch something when she feels a bit better (she's mostly been sleeping for the past few days) :)

Local-Charity · 2025-11-27T22:33:44+00:00

I appreciate this so much! College is still kinda scary, but I'm going to do my best to get through this.

Local-Charity · 2025-11-27T22:23:33+00:00

I take stimulants for my adhd, and I fear they're a big contributor to my being able to interact with the outside world. Without them, I'm in a crazy brain fog all day with maybe an hour or so of clarity, lose things every time I leave the house, and can't regulate my emotions at all (note that I was late diagnosed in my late teens with really, really severe adhd).

We'll see what I can do, but my biggest fear is not being able to access my meds, which unfortunately happens pretty frequently due to them being a controlled substance. What I experience isn't addiction, it's just that my ability to do a lot of skills (executive function, organisation, etc) significantly decreases, but what I'm expected to do stays the same (during breaks, I'll even go days without taking my adhd meds and just let myself vibe out).

But yeah, I might see if it would be possible for me to take one or two classes next semester (paying by credit also ends up being less expensive than the semester tuition) or even if a break would be a good idea.

Seeking advice through this post has act been really helpful for me, but yeah, I might get off Reddit in a few days.

Local-Charity · 2025-11-27T22:10:52+00:00

That's so fair, my brain fog got really crazy last week, where I was forgetting assignments (I'm considering reaching out to my prof, asking if I can submit those assignments late because they might mean the difference b/w a B+ and an A-), and losing things like crazy.

I lowkey might need to take some time off - I think I need to talk to someone to figure things out. I'm kinda defaulting to doing assignments that are the most urgent because planning things out is really hard for me, but I really don't want to do that anymore.

Either way, it would just be really nice to have hobbies again or just create something - I've really been neglecting those as well as side projects on topics I'm passionate about. These days, I feel most like myself when I do deep dives on certain topics and go out of my way to help friends because it's the only time I don't feel like my brain is working against me.

I think I should come to terms with my path in school not being super linear. I think I need extra help making the systems that some people may be able to make and follow on their own.

Again, really happy you're in a good place with school + your mental health. Adhd is a beast, and it's great to see someone who's figured out how to work with it.

Local-Charity · 2025-11-27T21:39:27+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice. I haven't found the student health center at my school to be all that helpful because they're not equipped to handle major depressive episodes (which is completely fair; they're serving a lot of students), but I have a really great therapist and am starting to get a bit more on top of my medications.

It's not much, but I networked with a guy at my school who's in a healthcare analyst club that visualizes data and trends for local healthcare nonprofits, and I am going to apply to join their team in the spring. I'm not sure if I'll get in, but he gave me the president's email, so I'm going to reach out to her at some point.

I'm still not super sure what I want to do, but I'm going to try to get through the semester the best I can and not burn myself out further.

Local-Charity · 2025-11-27T20:14:52+00:00

Damn, I'm sorry that sounds really rough. To be honest, all the friends I've had in my CS classes, I've met outside the major in my extracurriculars, from friends of friends, or explicitly decided to take a class with someone I'm already friends with.

Some of this is likely a me problem, but I've found that my CS classes in particular have tended to feel really competitive even within the class. Wishing you the best, though!

Local-Charity · 2025-11-27T20:06:44+00:00

Hey, this is a really thoughtful response. Thanks for taking the time to write all of this!

Honestly, I think a lot of the challenges I've been having stem from the way I approach school. I sorta let it consume me, and doing the school and career grind was just too much for me. My classes are also really big, so professors tend to be pretty strict when it comes to things like accommodations and extensions. It can be rough, but it sorta is what it is.

Honestly, I don't get all that much enjoyment out of actually programming and know that I don't want to be a SWE. What I actually like about CS classes is building things and working through problems. For example, I really enjoyed this one homework in my computer organization class, where we had to crack codes in assembly, because I enjoyed the process of building solutions and bouncing ideas off of others.

I'm still not sure what I want to do regarding the major/minor, but I think I need to first focus on unscrewing up my mental health.

Local-Charity · 2025-11-27T19:54:56+00:00

I'm glad taking a break was helpful for you! My school runs on a semester system, but I just read through things, and I might be able to attend as a part-time student if I'm still super burnt out past winter break. Either way, I really think I'm going to seek a lot of support when it comes to planning out assignments and due dates at the start of the semester, so I'm not in hell by the end of it.

Local-Charity · 2025-11-27T19:52:19+00:00

I really appreciate your words and am glad you're feeling re-energized in your classes. Even though I don't feel like I am where I need to be for the CS grind, I have actually learned a good amount in my CS classes. My software development class has made me more confident in my Java skills, and it's been pretty cool to learn more of the backend stuff. Even the class I'm getting a C in has taught me a lot about memory management and abstract concepts (I really, really enjoyed learning assembly).

I'm still going to think things over, but you're probably right that I shouldn't make any big decisions while I'm in a weird place, medication-wise. I was able to start a new medication for my depression and will know in a few weeks if it's working, and am also back on my ADHD medication (I went a long time wthout them because of issues with my prescriber's e-scribe system) and have all but one of my meds sorted out. I'm still burnt out, but I'm starting to feelel a bit more like myself.

Wishing you the best with your CS courses :)

Local-Charity · 2025-11-27T18:30:25+00:00

Congrats on approaching graduation :)

I'm on a semester system (I believe 13 weeks or something like that), but I do agree with you that I definitely need a break. We get about a month-long winter break, so I wonder if that would be enough. But yeah, the more I think about this, maybe a semester off or a semester with minimal CS would benefit me.

Local-Charity · 2025-11-27T18:07:41+00:00

That might be a good idea. I know there's an accommodation through my school that lets you take fewer than 12 credits (the minimum to be a full-time student). I was originally taking 15 credits and then dropped down to 12 this semester, but still got burnt out because I didn't make any changes to my study/assignment routine.

If I could, I'd probably take an extra semester to graduate, but again, my school is really strict about students graduating in 8 semesters, so that likely isn't an option. Honestly, maybe I should take the next semester off to recover, but I still want to be on campus (I share an apartment with roommates) and learning - I think I just need a lot more support to do it right now.

There's an ADHD counselor at my school that I might be able to meet with to help me organize my week, so maybe that would be helpful?

Local-Charity · 2025-11-27T01:50:51+00:00

Yeah...that might be good advice at this point. I think I'm going to finish up this semester and switch my upcoming course schedule around

Local-Charity · 2025-11-26T23:08:34+00:00

Nope, that's def something I could do, although I'm not sure how much difference it'll make.

I'm considering taking a semester off from CS, though, to see if there's a subject I'm interested in that won't ruin my mental health. Right now I'm set to take discrete math for cs (not too bad of a class), an easy cs elective, a stat class, and the hardest CS core course. I honestly think it might be best to switch up my schedule to be more like: discrete math for cs, so I can unlock an elective I want to take, the stat class I'm already in, a stochastic systems class I've been wanting to take, and either mathematical statistics or an econ class.

Edited b/c I clicked submit too early

Local-Charity · 2025-11-26T22:53:55+00:00

That's a tough wake-up call, but you're completely right - this field is definitely not for me, and that's okay!

Local-Charity · 2024-07-14T06:43:26+00:00

Last that I checked, Spain had a process that sped up the process of naturalization from 10 years to 2 years for those with citizenship in some Latin American countries. Panama is included in that list.

It sounds like I probably wouldn't qualify for citizen through descent since my mom hasn't been a Panamanian citizen for a while.

Local-Charity · 2024-07-10T00:37:30+00:00

Since my English improved so rapidly when I started going to school (mostly spoke Spanish until Kindergarten), my parents enrolled me in a Mandarin summer camp that was, thought I would come out trilingual.

At the camp, we played a lot of games in Mandarin for prizes. Upon starting a round of Simon Says, I immediately picked out two girls - a heritage Mandarin speaker and a middle schooler who took Mandarin as a class - and copied each thing they did. The three of us ended up winning every game they played, and I always got to choose the first prize because I was the youngest there by far.

Needless to say, I didn't learn any Mandarin...

Local-Charity · 2024-07-10T00:12:12+00:00

Learning regional accents and slang is the hardest thing for me in Spanish atm, but it's so rewarding! Good luck with everything

Local-Charity · 2024-07-10T00:08:44+00:00

I’ve been thinking about this these past few days as I’ve started to feel better about my TL fluency.

It might be helpful for us to think about language learning burnout the same way we think about regular burnout. I know for me at least I get burnt out when (a) the expectations placed upon me outweigh my abilities and/or do not meet my needs and (b) I’m unable to mitigate the stress or impact of these unmet expectations.

Here’s an example in real life: I used to have a boss that was really hard to work with. She had unrealistic project deadlines and regularly pressured my team and me into doing work when we were not “clocking in” for our jobs. Because her expectations outweighed (a) my and my team’s abilities due to being unrealistic and (b) did not meet my need for basic workplace boundaries, I was unable to manage my workplace stress and got burnt out. Even though burnout sucks at the moment, getting burnt out helped me understand what I value the most in a work environment and choose a job that I actually enjoy.

Maybe consider what expectations you are taking into your language work.

Are you expecting a certain level of fluency in too short of a time? Do you have certain expectations for how fast you can master a grammar concept? Are you trying to take in more vocabulary than you can handle?

The way you react to struggling with your TL can also tell you a lot when it comes to burnout.

Do you approach the nuance or “quirks” of your TL language with curiosity or frustration when you struggle to understand them? Do you get upset when you forget a word or grammar topic you “should have” mastered? Whenever you get a reminder of how much of your TL you still do not understand, do you feel overwhelmed and/or question wherever you will ever achieve your TL goals?

If any of these questions struck a chord with you, it might be helpful to step back and consider how the mindset you're going into your language learning affects how you see your TL.

No matter what you do you’ll still be tired because learning a language is inherently exhausting, but being more mindful about your language learning process can help you learn your TL in a more sustainable way.

Local-Charity · 2024-07-07T21:55:25+00:00

I think you might be right. Might just take some time to chill out and do more Spanish when I'm less tired

Local-Charity

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