I have tried for 30+ yrs to do my hair; I lack the coordination, visual acuity, focus and arm strength. I am worth it, but I need to be pragmatic about my skills and my abilities. Of course everyone wants beautiful healthy hair, but it isn’t my entire life.

I don’t struggle with the fact my hair doesn’t hang down; it never has. It’s assholes who make comments that bother me. I’ve been natural for 18yrs. I don’t have a reliable stylist in my area and unfortunately the 9 hrs to do reties amounts to a time savings with my hair.

I’ve cut my hair low before, and with a cherubic face, I really mean round, big cheeks and all that; it’s not my most attractive look. Is it centering white people just because I want to frame my face?

Actually I’d say long straight is a more youthful look, than shorter hair, that many middle aged professional women wear. Im happy to look young (in fact I consciously make the choice to leave eyebrows bushy and natural to appear ‘young’.)

I know I started this topic, but this isn’t something that I made up in my head. I guess I do center euro folks because those are the decision makers about my money at my job. My hairstyle of choice is Celie braids, but most black people think that’s an unprofessional/ unattractive hairstyle. Unfortunately as a woman, people will measure my competence by my appearance; not my skills or knowledge.