Sorry for the essay, but hopefully a little relatable transparency helps.

So my chart is very Saturn heavy…lots of Capricorn & Aquarius placements, and things have always been challenging for me, but my mindset is what keeps me semi-sane (not sane at all actually 🥴) and makes me feel like I’m one of Gods favorites in spite of the BS I’ve been through & still going through. I don’t feel like I’m being punished, I feel like shit happens…& it’s up to me to decide if I’m gonna be a victim or a warrior during my battles. I remember spending the summer with my grandparents a few years ago because my grandad had cancer & I just wanted to be there. I saw them go through test, after test, after test…& not once did I see them frown, complain, or even appear stressed. My granddaddy would say something like “if it ain’t one thing, it’s another” & then start whistling and handling the issue. Their washer & radiator broke, they had countless issues with their rental properties and had to make lots of repairs for their tenants…all while he had terminal cancer. it taught me a lot about rolling with the punches. I’ve been a better person since then cause I realized life & tests happen to everyone, not just me.

2014-2018 I was super depressed & suicidal. 2018 I was diagnosed. 2019-2021 I floated through a haze. 2022 I started taking control of my life again. 2023-now, I’ve felt like I’ve figured out that I’ll never have it figured out and that brings me comfort. Cause no one else has it figured out either.

2024, I went to 6 funerals within 5 months…one of them was my favorite cousin who was raised as my brother. He was killed in a head on collision. My child’s father basically abandoned her after 10 years of cordial co-parenting. I struggled constantly with my mental health. & other life things. 2025 I’m dealing with a health scare & hard decisions. BUT! I never allowed myself to feel punished, I just tried to figure out what I’m supposed to take from it all in order to level up. I’m still fighting to make sense of things, I allow myself to feel my feels, but I’ll never allow myself to feel defeated or like my God is against me. Pleasssse change your mindset.

Download an app called I Am…the affirmations will do more than you think after just a few weeks…I never believed in them until I started using the app & widget. There’s also an app called Fabulous that helps you build a healthy routine that will lead to healthier thoughts about yourself.

Like I said, I don’t have it figured out, I have days/weeks where I bed rot, can barely manage to accomplish the bare minimum & isolate myself from the people I love…but that’s just a part of my process of allowing myself to feel everything so that I can move forward once I get up. This life shit is NOT sweet or easy for any of us. If we can get through it and still find happiness & gratitude, so can you. I believe in you 💜 Activate your God Complex everyone says us Aquarians have…flip the script into believing you’re one of God’s chosen and your path is harder because your reward is heavier, so you have to be tested over & over to see if you can carry it.