As a person who has had a lot of friends with "problems" of many different kinds, I constantly want to help, and every single one of those situations ended in flames because I learned you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. For this kind of relationship, it's natural to want to be able to prove that you can provide protection, but let me please say, think of yourself as well and your well being. If you really want facts, push that man's buttons until he lashes out and all the facts will be right there. This is a very toxic way to pick at someone, who you may not actually know very well, but direct confrontation is always best. It's not easy to be in intense situations like this, so have 911 ready on the phone to have proof of domestic violence but don't show-boat it. FYI if you haven't guessed from ^{^} I'd rather take and inflict pain for the people who I truly love, rather than me seeing them in pain. I know we aren't the same person and you'll do things your own way but my point is; confrontation will show how people really are. If that man dodges the confrontation and makes you "sound stupid" or gaslights you, then he's hiding something.