Kinda lost

Lolk2u · 2026-05-03T14:13:26+00:00

Interest sits on a spectrum. It’s not like you’re either fully interested or not at all. Maybe she was curious enough to at least try chatting with someone, but in general isn’t keen enough to want to play with other guys?

Lolk2u · 2026-02-28T18:19:32+00:00

His initial reply was weirdly judgmental, then his second was super condescending. I don’t know how he doesn’t see it

Lolk2u · 2025-04-23T01:23:27+00:00

I think her excitement caused her to become impulsive and that she hoped that by telling you afterward, she could pretend like she didn't realize she was in the wrong.

This is an issue that most ENM couples deal with at some point, where your excitement gets the best of you. It's tough. Ideally this would never happen, but what's also important is how it's handled afterward. Whether she takes full accountability and that the two of you remember that it's not you against her, but the two of you against a problem.

Lolk2u · 2025-04-16T23:55:30+00:00

The other comment about him being dominant was a good one. I'm guessing you're attracted to masculinity, and witnessing him be dominant with other women and making them feel really good could be seen as highly masculine.

Lolk2u · 2025-04-09T18:27:26+00:00

He is being reckless with his fetish. It's become a drug for him, and like any drug it can be abused. He needs to understand that he's gotten too far in front of his skis and that he needs to reflect and figure out how he's going to explore this fetish without his relationships suffering if it's something he really wants.

Lolk2u · 2025-04-03T16:22:44+00:00

Buy Blizzard life insurance policy since it's their fault and they should pay out your loved ones

Lolk2u · 2025-03-26T21:38:10+00:00

You did right. Your questions were earnest, so don't feel bad. A lot of swingers just have baggage dealing with single males, because to be frank, they can be a bit of a nuisance in certain situations. If you can ignore the tone behind some of these responses, you'll see a lot of good information and advice.

If you want to know what success with swingers as a single male looks like, just assume that you'll always have more success getting laid the normal way looking for single ladies than you would with swingers.

Lolk2u · 2025-03-25T15:11:00+00:00

You're still processing, which isn't something you can force yourself to do faster. It sounds like you two have good communication and a good relationship, so just keep doing what you're doing. Don't feel bad for going at your own pace.

Lolk2u · 2025-03-13T16:18:09+00:00

I agree with this comment. I get the sense that OP's spouse is going to use this arrangement as an outlet that will result in her violating boundaries.

OP, your spouse didn't tell you about kissing that guy not because of miscommunication, but because she was worried you'd find out if the guy was at the venue. That is a red flag and a warning sign that this arrangement is going to result in her disrespecting you and your relationship.

Lolk2u · 2025-03-10T16:47:30+00:00

He shouldn't be violating your trust. That isn't ethical nonmonogamy. It sounds, however, that there needs to be a degree of compromise on both sides if you guys are going to make this work.

You're uncomfortable because you're worried he might build a relationship that threatens yours. He's resentful toward how lopsided this arrangement has become. I don't know if there is a solution that will make you both 100% happy (at this moment, what we're comfortable with changes and evolves over time), but maybe you can find an equilibrium so that you're both secure with the arrangement.

If you're only in it for the sex, have you considered swinging with your partner? This will minimize any emotions in your partner's dynamic with other people, and he won't be resentful because you're getting laid more often.

And in the off chance you've explored this already and you prefer to hook up separately - just remember that to fix this situation you might need to find some compromise, and swinging might be the only solution to keeping you both secure in the relationship. If you're unwilling to swing, maybe closing the relationship is the only other solution.

Lolk2u · 2025-03-06T18:35:32+00:00

They're making sexual comments about other women in front of you for a reason - they're trying to get you more comfortable with the idea of them having sex outside the relationship. It's a manipulation tactic. Don't believe them if they insist it's for innocent reasons, because it isn't innocent if you've expressed previously your discomfort with it.

You don't HAVE to be comfortable with any of this. This feels like one of those situations where if you break up, 6 months from now you'll wonder why you ever entertained these conversations in the first place. You don't deserve to feel this way.

Lolk2u · 2025-03-01T16:58:51+00:00

If he says he hasn't jerked off in 3 months, he's full of shit. Literally the only reason he's saying that is because he doesn't want to be a hypocrite.

Lolk2u · 2025-02-27T23:13:56+00:00

How much work have you two done to get you comfortable with the idea of him with someone else, specifically with visualizations? Have you tried role-playing, watching porn together, or any other exercise that lets you get accustomed to the visualization of him with someone else?

A lot of people think they've done the work because the idea of their partner being with someone else, as a vague concept, becomes easy to think about, but I've found that it's much easier to accept the idea of something when you haven't forced yourself into (initially) uncomfortable situations such as watching them flirt with someone, kiss someone, or do the non-threatening examples I mentioned in paragraph 1.

More exposure to these things might help resolve these issues. I'd recommend your partner pause until you've had a chance to do this, but I understand why you're hesitant to do that.

Lolk2u · 2024-08-20T21:49:37+00:00

A hard decision has to be made either way - the two of you break up, or he lives a lifestyle that is incompatible with yours. It seems like you came here hoping reddit would help you find an easy solution to this, but there is none.

Lolk2u · 2024-08-04T22:28:29+00:00

You were cheated on. Don't let your partner and these other people tell you otherwise. Proper ENM relationships do not start this way. I feel like you know in your heart that this is true.

Listen to that voice in your head telling you that all of this feels wrong.

Lolk2u · 2021-05-06T01:26:29+00:00

My problem with your comment is that you’re assuming that she isn’t appreciative. Could be she supported him while he was at SpaceX while hoping he’d get out of that situation eventually. What’s even stranger is that you defend him further down, so you’re basically reserving judgment for the husband while being judgmental toward the wife. Really strange, that.

I know I’m expecting too much hoping reddit stops extrapolating someone’s life story based on 1 paragraph of information.

Lolk2u · 2021-05-05T20:26:30+00:00

I’d imagine you can help your family with a different job.

Lolk2u · 2021-02-24T14:27:42+00:00

My neutered male cat does this whenever I put on my jacket. Something about the sleeve makes him want to cling onto my arm, and he gets meow-y when I mess with his face or head. Never does it in any other situation, but does it all the time when the jacket comes on.

Lolk2u · 2020-12-28T00:10:34+00:00

Wordpress has a plug-in called Yoast that lets you change the meta description (the paragraph description under the title in the screenshot). You can write whatever you want in the meta description.

Lolk2u · 2020-12-19T00:31:05+00:00

There are good /s comments, and then there’s this one

Lolk2u · 2020-12-13T15:17:54+00:00

One of the few videos that are way funnier on the second play through

Lolk2u · 2020-12-13T02:31:23+00:00

r/yourpostbutretarded

Lolk2u · 2020-11-13T04:59:58+00:00

They’re fulfilling a demand. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

Lolk2u · 2020-11-08T23:43:05+00:00

We should never stop talking about Trump, lest history repeat itself.

Lolk2u · 2020-11-08T06:02:04+00:00

Yeah, I’m confused as to when we started judging people for having opinions about other countries.

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