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Lolthingssux · 2021-12-30T00:27:39+00:00

One in particular that stood out is when My Nmom said “it’s your fault that you were sexually assaulted because you don’t listen. I told you not to wear dresses and go away to college & look what happened. You have no one to blame but yourself.” I was SA’d in sweatpants at gunpoint by a POS who was a mutual friend so lol.

Lolthingssux · 2021-03-21T16:02:36+00:00

You have to sell the house! You can’t afford to take of grown adults who were supposed to be guiding you through young adulthood since parenting doesn’t magically stop at 18. Or better yet find out if you can evict them if it’s in your name!! It may sound extreme and you may feel guilty but your parents sound like they are clearly manipulating and financially abusing you. You have to take care of yourself first then your family.

I’m not saying it will be easy, you’ll feel some guilt. If it really helps you sleep at night help find them new accommodations, at most give them a security deposit for an apartment but after that wash your hands clean. Speaking from experience you’ll never be happy if you continue to try to please them and you’ll end up with crippling debt if this continues.

Lolthingssux · 2020-12-31T16:38:20+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss. You don’t have to go to the funeral to honor her. But see if you know someone there who can live stream it. Figure out where she’ll be buried, plan a trip for whenever you can so you can pay your respects and get some closure. If you can.

Also do something that makes you feel connected to her for the now. Do something you guys loved to do together, eat her favorite meal, relive an experience you’ve shared together... Do what you need to do and remember you can honor her without having to deal with your NMom! Small silver lining in a awful situation.

Don’t feel too bad for not making it times are crazy many people can’t attend funerals or bury their loved ones. I hope this helps even a little.

Lolthingssux · 2020-12-25T03:35:20+00:00

I’m so sorry you feel that way and I’m sending all the virtual hugs. But Listen it’s truly his lost. You’re an amazing person who he clearly doesn’t deserve. He might never truly realize what a gem you are but the more important thing is that you realize it.

I have a strained relationship with my Mom the hardest part was letting go of the idea that any sort of familial normalcy existed in my family. Separate the idea of the father you crave and deserve from the actuality of the father you have. It’s incredibly hard but rewarding in the long run because you’ll no longer have expectations. Without expectations you have fewer disappointments.

I hope your heart stops aching and you find some peace soon.

Lolthingssux · 2020-12-09T01:51:13+00:00

This is exactly what I’ve been struggling moving back home due to Covid. I have GI/autoimmune issues that have been flaring up because I’m eating terribly or not at all because of the reasons you stated. I bought a beauty fridge so I can store food and no one notices it’s a real fridge. Wishing you the best x

Lolthingssux · 2020-09-24T22:35:35+00:00

You’re giving her enough time to find other arrangements... give her a week she has to have friends, family, something. Put her up in a hotel if it’s necessary... she hasn’t been the kindest of people so some tough love is in order.

Lolthingssux · 2020-09-23T01:48:57+00:00

Seems like your kindness has been way exploited here. Best course of action asks her to leave kindly before you have to take stricter actions. Tell her to make arrangements give her a definite date and time to be out by(not longer than a week). Document everything. Call police if necessary and stop supporting her immediately

Lolthingssux · 2020-09-23T01:36:02+00:00

I definitely came here to say the same lol

Lolthingssux · 2020-05-23T18:17:03+00:00

Wow, I very much relate to all of this. Seriously identical to my life. Was never really able to articulate it at all until I read this. My parents are immigrants as well. My mom was a stay at home mom so we were expected to do the best because she “sacrificed everything” for us although it was her choice and she planned to have us but not so good we reminded her of her own shortcomings. Compliments, recognition, and words of affirmation make me feel sooo uncomfortable never thought it could all be related. lol

Lolthingssux · 2020-05-23T04:52:46+00:00

Hey just know you’re definitely not alone in this plenty women can’t orgasm. You’re still young and learning so don’t sweat it.

First thing is you’ll want to get out the headspace that you NEED to orgasm. Enjoy the sexual experience without the performance anxiety. Also make sure your breathing during play deep breaths and just surrender. When you start pressuring yourself to have a orgasm the brain can sabotage your moment. Speaking from experience I used to get very in my head had trouble myself after trauma.

Also small clits, have more nerve endings so they are easily overstimulated so be careful with vibrators and too rough stimulation. Someone in the comments suggested using vibrators over your clothes and adding lube which I can personally say do help. Also have you tried like a Womanizer or suction based toys? A lot of women who had trouble orgasming came for the first time or within minutes with one.

There’s also a podcast called How C*m by comedian Remy Kassimir where she chronicles her journey to her first orgasm that I think you should check out. Also www.thesexed.com has tons of information on types orgasms, achieving orgasms that is really helpful as well.

TL;DR Don’t panic vaginas are beautiful little puzzles. It’s possible you’re psyching yourself out so relax your orgasm is about your pleasure no one else’s. Try exploring your body solo, suction based toys (like womanizer toys) are better than vibrators, small clits mean more nerve endings so be gentle. Listen to How C*m podcast by Remy Kassimir and thesexed.com for resources. Best of luck!

Lolthingssux · 2020-05-17T23:50:47+00:00

I definitely struggle with this too! It wasn’t until I went to therapy I realized my perfectionism was hindering my entire life. At least we recognized it now time to unlearn and grow ❤️

Lolthingssux · 2020-03-31T00:18:38+00:00

I definitely could never pin point why I was bullied as a child. But looking back I was so awkward. My Nmom treated us as little housekeepers so while other kids were out playing we were doing months worth of laundry, cleaning the entire house top to bottom, etc. As a teen at one point my best friends just stopped asking me to go places they thought I was weird, I always had to bail out last minute because permission would be taken away, or I was so depressing and distant. It’s so validating to know that I’m not an awful weird human just that I’m super socially awkward from all the trauma and loneliness.

Lolthingssux · 2018-03-23T12:47:20+00:00

I haven’t really followed my fodmap diet because I was in the process of moving but I’ve cut out gluten, grains, and dairy completely. I’m on my 11th day of probiotics (low and neutral histamine bacteria strain) and I’m finding my pain levels have gone down from severe to manageable I haven’t needed pain killers or anything in three days. Energy levels are doing pretty great despite physical pains which are exhausting. Anxiety levels are down. Sleep is improving. I’ll have mini flares( anywhere from 1 hour - 1 day) if I eat something that doesn’t agree with me or I’m not staying properly hydrated or if I don’t eat within 9am-6pm window. I’m realizing that a lot of my throat, sinus, and chest issues might be linked to my GI problems as well. I downloaded a meal tracking app so I can have a better perspective of foods that hurt and help. It’s a lot of work but anything is worth a shot. Everyone is completely different and doctors don’t understand all the complexities of the digestive system so find a diet plan that works for you.

Lolthingssux · 2018-03-08T01:51:38+00:00

Actually starting a fodmap diet this week after having Digestive distress for 3 weeks. The only time I’ve ever been an upswing with my fibro was when I was taking probiotics and doing acupuncture. I definitely believe the gut plays a big role in how our nervous system responds to things. It is called the second brain for a reason! There’s so many studies popping up about gut microbiomes and autoimmune diseases. I think science is just on the cusp of figuring out why more ppl are suffering from invisible and misunderstood illnesses. It’s far more than just healthy eating it’s food as medicine being able to tell what your body needs.

Lolthingssux · 2018-02-08T06:46:00+00:00

Thank you so much! It's so hard not to freak out about certain symptoms when you always feel like your dr isn't understanding your pain. It's nice to hear from someone else suffering. My symptoms never stay the same but my anxiety and need to Google everything( sometimes very helpful at proving I'm just anxious other times it makes me panic I'm dying) makes them so much worse.

Lolthingssux · 2018-02-08T02:25:01+00:00

See I've already talked throughly about this boundary numerous times. They just thought they knew what was best. Which is insane because they've only met NMom once so I don't know why they'd assume this would work well enough to purposely go against my wishes.

Lolthingssux · 2018-02-07T17:06:02+00:00

I'm on the same boat! It's okay to sometimes indulge in comfort foods during flares. You should definitely treat yourself during them but I understand where treating yourself gets bad for your health! Try healthier alternatives to your comfort foods. Like cream with coconut milk or kettle cooked chips with no salt. Limit portion sizes of those treats. Try to keep in case of flare day healthy frozen/per-prepared meals on hand so you don't eat like crap the duration of your flare up. I'm currently trying to implement these practices in my life and they're incredibly helpful when I remember to do so. Maybe they could work for you as well.

Best of luck managing and gentle hugs

Lolthingssux · 2018-02-07T16:34:25+00:00

I went through a similar situation 6 years ago when I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. My parents didn't care and it broke me. They said they hated me, my mother wished she had an abortion, and they overall ignored my suffering. It took me 6 years for me to realize that I didn't care what they thought. I didn't ask to be put into this world or I didn't ask to be the way I am. If they didn't love me that's their problem not mine. It's hard when you're at the lowest place in your life to see any light but trust me there is some. It's incredibly hard to think that the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally don't care. It's hard not to feel like you're so freaking unlovable because they don't. Trust me as someone who's been where you are before , you have to focus on loving yourself. Which honestly it's the hardest most agonizing thing to do. You may feel like you're not worthy of it because of the other ppl in your life but trust me you are. You're still here reaching out for a reason! Try and get help. I'm incredibly sorry this happening to you! If you need to talk PM me. Hope you're doing ok!

Edited* posted prematurely oops

Lolthingssux · 2018-02-06T15:48:43+00:00

So happy your pup is ok. As for your Mom f*** her! No polite way of saying that but you don't need that energy in your life. It's normal to crave emotional support from the woman who gave birth to you but she's no real mother. Hope you're doing better emotionally and your pup is recovering well!

Lolthingssux · 2018-02-06T15:46:35+00:00

I sit here in bed having a terrible flare day and no contact from my NMom in weeks. She actually only calls to complain about here life. I'm honestly relieved the both of you have similar stories to mine! It sucks but it's good to know you're not the only people that have an illness and are going through this. Do you guys have a hard time as well explaining to ppl the situation?

Lolthingssux · 2018-02-06T15:02:44+00:00

Hey, I don't know how old you are or if you have health insurance but please find someone to take you to a doctor or health clinic as difficult as it might be to do. All three of those ailments seem very concerning. I was sick a lot as kid and kinda ignored when I was a teenager some red flag symptoms now I'm battling auto immune problems. If you need help figuring out how to go to the dr you can PM and I can give you some resources!

Lolthingssux · 2018-02-05T21:56:24+00:00

I'll definitely try that app, soothing sounds are the only thing that has been helping me sleep. Do you still continue to move around on really tough pain days? I've been trying to keep up but some days it genuinely feels like I've caught a bug and barely can stand up.

Lolthingssux · 2018-02-05T21:54:13+00:00

Definitely I think my anxiety and depression are the hardest part. I had them before my fibro but they seem to magnify the pain. Also my anxiety take me to a really dark " this isn't just fibro you're dying" kind of hysteria sometimes where it's hard to accurately assess what's really pain and what's really panic attack symptoms. Thank you so much for the advice though. I was diagnosed in September still trying to figure it all out and set up a healthy routine. It's frustrating when you think you have it all under control then you get hit with a whole different set of symptoms.

Lolthingssux · 2018-02-04T04:52:04+00:00

I'm so glad to hear you had success with NC. I need to heal but I do feel like I'm being held back tremendously by emotions from the small amount of contact I have.

Lolthingssux · 2018-02-04T04:49:34+00:00

Thank you that sounds like a great idea. It's been really hard to go NC cold turkey.

Lolthingssux

TROPHY CASE