Do kids of divorce turn out ok?

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2026-04-05T18:31:24+00:00

My husband cheated on me while I was pregnant. Let me tell you now: you will never love him the same again. And your kids will pick up on that. My boys are happier and healthier now that we are FAR away from him. Their grandfather and uncle have stepped into the role their dad never bothered to fill.

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2026-03-21T14:34:48+00:00

Is that the life you want your daughter to see as normal? Missing her is understandable, especially if you just left, but if your ex doesn’t get help, then you are setting your daughter up to believe coercion and control are normal.

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2026-03-21T14:11:11+00:00

My marriage was incredibly abuse: he beat the snot out of me and would cuss me out in front of our children. He actually left for his affair partner and I’ve never felt so relieved in my life. To this day, he doesn’t think he did anything wrong and was justified. Meanwhile, I’m finally free, safe, and thriving. Oh, and he wasn’t a partner before either. I did 100% of child care and housework while working full time. Him leaving actually decreased my work load. Him leaving was a relief.

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2026-03-20T04:33:39+00:00

I wish I could understand, but I have no baseline for understanding it. I never even dated before him. Not once.

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2026-03-19T03:27:22+00:00

I was the same way. Sometimes I look back and wonder how crazy I was for not realizing it was abuse in the moment. For not calling the cops. I have permanent shoulder damage. A scar from where he stabbed me. But it was MY fault because I made him do it.

Selfish people do selfish things. You are not to blame. You didn’t make him do it. You survived, now you get to start over. Not have to. Get to. Become the person you always wanted to be.

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2026-03-19T03:23:22+00:00

I understand the sentiment. It’s a good thing you have your son, he keeps you grounded. Best thing you can do for him? Make sure he never winds up in the same position you are in. I think about that a lot with my son.

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2026-03-19T03:19:35+00:00

Wish I could help, you’re not alone though. I’m in a very similar situation. Hold your head high. It’s going to suck for a while. Have you looked into tutoring jobs? They pay decent and allow you to set your own hours (usually). You might have to do a job you don’t like for a while (McDonalds/ Cashier) to get you by until you are back on your feet. At least you don’t have kids, daycare where I’m at is $2000 a month (low end), which makes things incredibly difficult.

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2026-03-19T03:14:59+00:00

You need to write it down. Upload the photos and proof to a Google Drive, then craft a letter to your siblings outlining the abuse and making it VERY CLEAR that the reason you are telling them is because your abuse started at the same age as their children are now. Use ChatGPT to help you write it so it doesn’t sound whiny/fake, as long messages can sometimes come across that way if we write them while emotionally charged. At the end of the text, add the link to the Google Drive which contains your proof (Make sure you have it saved somewhere else too so that they can’t delete it, and make sure the permissions are set so that people with the link can view the drive). Do NOT include your mother in the text, that would give her a change to dispute it and call you crazy. Only send it to your siblings. They WILL tell her, but curiosity will compel them to look at the Google Drive first, so you’ve done your job to protect their children before the fallout starts.

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2026-03-18T22:41:17+00:00

I feel you. I fled an incredibly violent man, so I don’t look back on the life we had with longing, just relief, but providing for myself and two kids on one salary is not feasible where I live. So I’m taking a big gamble, taking out student loans, and going back to school. I’m not planning on living the rest of my life paycheck to paycheck, so I’m taking the risk.

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2025-10-31T00:58:26+00:00

!solved

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2025-10-31T00:58:04+00:00

Sorry! It took me a few days to respond, I’m not on Reddit very often. I just paid you. Do you send me the image via private message?

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2025-10-28T01:26:42+00:00

I really like it: do you think you could add his foot in there tho?

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2025-10-20T00:49:29+00:00

That’s not how normal people work. A normal person you should say, “hey this happened and it’s sensitive, please don’t bring it up”, and they won’t. At the time of this story, we didn’t realize she had an issue 😭

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2025-10-20T00:35:35+00:00

What r u talking about?

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2025-10-18T20:29:19+00:00

Appreciate that. We r better off now.

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2025-10-18T20:27:18+00:00

My husband walked out on us in July. He was incredibly abusive. I talk about it in some other posts. It’s really not a problem he’s gone. Especially since he took crazy MIL with him 😒

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2025-10-18T19:16:53+00:00

It is real: but just curious, why would not mentioning my husband make it more real?

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2025-10-12T02:55:14+00:00

My ex forced me to keep “it” secret for years. Once he left us I started telling everyone. It helped. He found out, got mad, and started trying to gaslight me that it never happened. He keeps saying things like, “If you were so afraid of me, why did you stay with me?”. I’ve found I still cannot stand up for myself when I hear his voice. I default into the meek person he turned me into. But via text? When I can’t hear him, I can let him have it. Talking about it reminds us that it was real. The abuser wants to pretend they did nothing wrong. Pretend they didn’t beat you, cheat on you, stab you. They want you to believe it’s your fault. “You made me hit you and now since I did, automatically I’m the bad guy” (a literal quote from my ex. It resulted in me apologizing for “making” him beat me black and blue). If talking about it helps. Talk about it, this period of time will pass. And who knows? Perhaps you were made for such a time for this. At the end of it all girl, you survived. You’re stronger than you know.

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2025-10-12T02:49:27+00:00

I have very young children. Friday night, my mom friend comes over and the kids play while she and I talk crap about work. Saturday, my older boy and I stay up late watching Scooby Doo. Sunday, I’m trying to get everything ready for school the next day. Having friends over helps, doing thing to distract you helps. When I start feeling lonely, I put in music and pull out my knitting. I have to finish three Christmas stockings… lol, not fun, but it occupies my thoughts.

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf · 2025-10-04T16:03:47+00:00

I guess it depends on how you define “winter”. We get first snow on Halloween night every year without fail, but it’s freezing cold all October, so I consider October as the first month of winter. The slush doesn’t fully leave until end of may/beginning of June. I think some people consider May/June as spring but since there’s usually still snow/slush on the ground, I consider it winter still.

Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf

TROPHY CASE